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[2/11/2020] Tuesday's Off Topic Free Talk Thread

2020.02.11 07:00 LonghornMod [2/11/2020] Tuesday's Off Topic Free Talk Thread

/LonghornNation Daily Off Topic Free Talk Thread

Today: 2/11/2020
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  3. @TexasFootball Devin Duvernay. NFL Scouting Combine. 🤘 #ThisIsTexas #HookEm @Dev_Duv5 https://t.co/KMAJiUyn84
  4. @BCarringtonUT RT @ezlazar: Devin Duvernay: another mid-round receiver prospect that has explosive speed and big-play ability. Duvernay at his best vs o…
  5. @MikeRoach247 RT @chase_lowery14: #AGTG Blessed to receive an offer from The University of Houston 🐾🐾🐾 #GoCoogs @simplyCoachO @FlightSkillz @ZacEtheridge…
  6. @_delconte Sorry big fish - the suite is full but give enough lead time and I’ll see what we can do 🤘🏽 https://t.co/paDdMS16i3

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/All
  1. Wedding dress with goldwork embroidery
  2. This drawing that my history teacher did on the whiteboard
  3. Bernie Sanders rises to No. 1 in first post-Iowa national poll
  4. TIL Author Robert Howard created Conan the Barbarian and invented the entire 'sword and sorcery' genre. He took care of his sickly mother his entire adult life, never married and barely dated. The day his mother finally died, he he walked out to his car, grabbed a gun, and shot himself in the head.
  5. People fighting with hand sanitizers behind sport's newscast
/CFB
  1. Coaching Carousel Thread: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
  2. Dear CFB: Going to a Game Next Season Advice Thread
  3. Campus culture played role in Luke Fickell turning down Michigan State football job
  4. AP Exclusive: NCAA, ACC, Big 12 spend nearly 1M lobbying Capitol Hill, seeking restrictions on athletes earning money from endorsements
  5. [Thamel] Luke Fickell is staying at Cincinnati
  6. Michigan State football is in danger of re-entering the dark ages
  7. [Feldman] Oregon CB coach Donte Williams is expected to become the new corners coach & Pass Game Coordinator at USC
/LonghornNation
  1. Vote for the /LonghornNation QB of the 2010s!
  2. [GAME THREAD] 🏀 Texas (14-9) vs. #1 Baylor (21-1) - 8:00 pm
  3. Who will be 2020's breakout WR?
  4. [Post Game Thread] 🏀 #1 Baylor defeats Texas, 52-45
  5. [2/10/2020] Monday's Off Topic Free Talk Thread
  6. Softball/Baseball Streams
LonghornBot: you can get a list of commands you can give for the bot by commenting ".help". You will receive a private message with the commands.
This thread was programmatically generated and posted on 2/11/2020 12:00 AM. If you have any questions or comments, please contact brihoang or chrislabeard
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2020.02.11 07:00 chrislabeard [2/11/2020] Tuesday's Off Topic Free Talk Thread

/LonghornNation Daily Off Topic Free Talk Thread

Today: 2/11/2020
Last Thread

Current Austin Weather: 45° and Clouds

Seven Day Forecast:
2/10 2/11 2/12 2/13 2/14 2/15 2/16
46°, Rain 50°, Rain 65°, Rain 51°, Clear 57°, Clear 58°, Rain 73°, Clouds

Your go-to place to talk about whatever you want. From the dumb shit aggies do on a near daily basis, to the latest whatever happening wherever. What ya got?

Recent Longhorn Tweets

  1. @sehlinger3 RT @TexasFootball: Details translate. #ThisIsTexas #HookEm https://t.co/xtRqzqFt1F
  2. @CoachTomHerman RT @DSAVAGE_1: Goon squad💯🤘🏽 https://t.co/N1YG1YvZWc
  3. @TexasFootball Devin Duvernay. NFL Scouting Combine. 🤘 #ThisIsTexas #HookEm @Dev_Duv5 https://t.co/KMAJiUyn84
  4. @BCarringtonUT RT @ezlazar: Devin Duvernay: another mid-round receiver prospect that has explosive speed and big-play ability. Duvernay at his best vs o…
  5. @MikeRoach247 RT @chase_lowery14: #AGTG Blessed to receive an offer from The University of Houston 🐾🐾🐾 #GoCoogs @simplyCoachO @FlightSkillz @ZacEtheridge…
  6. @_delconte Sorry big fish - the suite is full but give enough lead time and I’ll see what we can do 🤘🏽 https://t.co/paDdMS16i3

Trending on Reddit

/All
  1. Wedding dress with goldwork embroidery
  2. This drawing that my history teacher did on the whiteboard
  3. Bernie Sanders rises to No. 1 in first post-Iowa national poll
  4. TIL Author Robert Howard created Conan the Barbarian and invented the entire 'sword and sorcery' genre. He took care of his sickly mother his entire adult life, never married and barely dated. The day his mother finally died, he he walked out to his car, grabbed a gun, and shot himself in the head.
  5. People fighting with hand sanitizers behind sport's newscast
/CFB
  1. Coaching Carousel Thread: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
  2. Dear CFB: Going to a Game Next Season Advice Thread
  3. Campus culture played role in Luke Fickell turning down Michigan State football job
  4. AP Exclusive: NCAA, ACC, Big 12 spend nearly 1M lobbying Capitol Hill, seeking restrictions on athletes earning money from endorsements
  5. [Thamel] Luke Fickell is staying at Cincinnati
  6. Michigan State football is in danger of re-entering the dark ages
  7. [Feldman] Oregon CB coach Donte Williams is expected to become the new corners coach & Pass Game Coordinator at USC
/LonghornNation
  1. Vote for the /LonghornNation QB of the 2010s!
  2. [GAME THREAD] 🏀 Texas (14-9) vs. #1 Baylor (21-1) - 8:00 pm
  3. Who will be 2020's breakout WR?
  4. [Post Game Thread] 🏀 #1 Baylor defeats Texas, 52-45
  5. [2/10/2020] Monday's Off Topic Free Talk Thread
  6. Softball/Baseball Streams
LonghornBot: you can get a list of commands you can give for the bot by commenting ".help". You will receive a private message with the commands.
This thread was programmatically generated and posted on 2/11/2020 12:00 AM. If you have any questions or comments, please contact brihoang or chrislabeard
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2017.09.27 07:48 TormentedTales All the missing children

My name is Robert Langley and I live in a small town just outside of Smiley, Texas. The town's population is just under five thousand, but feels smaller due to how widespread the county is. There are two schools, three gas stations, one mega church, a small police station with one cell, and two local grocery stores. There is one main street which runs from county line to county line. I have grown to appreciate it and become familiar with most of its residents.
I am the Chief of Police. Have been since I moved here two years ago. There are two Sheriffs that make up the entire department. There’s rarely any crime in this town, so we don't need many. The worse crime i’ve come across was when I first started, and it was a drunk man pissing on somebody's car, because the man had upset him.
This town is a safe place. Residents leave their doors unlocked overnight as they sleep and sometimes in the fall when the weather changes, they open their doors to let the breeze flow through there house. The children ride their bikes through the neighborhoods unattended while others laugh and play in there freshly cut yards. If I had to find one word to describe it, I’d say it's damn near perfect. On August 26, 2016 this would all change.
My Iphone rings. “Chief Langley”, I answer while on my way into work.
“Chief, it’s Sheriff Garrett.” His voice is low and somber.
“Go ahead.”
“You're gonna want to make your way down here to Hunt Street.” He says with reserve in his voice.
I can tell that something is wrong. “What is it?”
“Chief, i'd rather not say over the phone.”
His lack of information frustrates me. I hang up and flip on my sirens. For the first time since i’ve been here, they ring through the mid morning air. I press my foot down to the floor and speed down the street.
As I pull up to the little green house on Hunt, I see Sheriff Garrett waiting out front. The house is sealed off by yellow caution tape. His vehicle is parked on the curb and is positioned just to where it's blocking the sidewalk.
I park next to it and hop out. He fastly approaches me.
“What’s going on?” I ask impatiently.
He remains silent and just shakes his head no. I continue to the front door without stopping in between. The front door is wide open and I see the woman's feet in the entry way. I pick up my pace, ducking under the caution tape. I enter the house and see something I haven't seen in a long time.
Susan Meyer, a twenty eight year old single mother lying face down in a pool of blood. Her shirt has been ripped off and she has dozens of stab wounds in her back.
I turn to Garrett who stands just behind me. “Where’s her kid?”
Susan has a nine year old daughter. He holds his hands up, signaling he doesn't know.
“Put an apb out now. We need to alert everybody. Every moment that passes, that child's life is in danger.”
I nudge him out of the door. He runs to his vehicle and nearly trips over himself. I examine the body and surrounding area for a moment before meeting Garrett outside.
“Apb is out.”
“Okay. I want all hands on deck and I want the entire town locked down. And let's find her ex. That's a good place to start.”
“Roger.” Garrett turns to head towards his vehicle.
“Garrett!” I call out to him.
“Yeah, Chief?”
“Who found her?”
“The neighbor. Said she came over to bring her some brownies and she let herself in when Susan didn’t answer.”
“Go on. I’ll talk to her. I want you in charge of things while i'm not there.” I signal him to go with a commanding nod.
As he drives off, I walk up and knock on the neighbor's door.
Betty Hutchinson, an eighty year old woman opens the door. Time has not been kind to her. Her face is wrinkled like a prune and she has a hunch back which causes her to slump over.
“Mrs. Hutchinson.” I tip my cowboy hat to her.
She's still very much shaken up by what transpired. “Yes?” Her voice is frail and crackly.
“I just had a couple questions. Mind if I come in?”
Without answering, she hobbles out of the doorway and allows me to step inside. We walk to her living room and sit down. A thick cloud of dust comes off of the couch as I sit on it.
“Did you happen to hear anything or see anyone?” I ask with a pen in one hand and a notepad in the other.
“Afraid not.” She says, sounding like she may cry.
“Has she had any visitors recently that you're aware of?”
“Oh, no. She always kept to herself. Such a pretty young thing.” Betty wipes a tear from her chapped cheek.
“Thank you for your time, Betty.” I stand and walk towards the door.
“I'll bring yall some brownies by real soon.” She trails just behind me.
I offer her a friendly smile and leave her house.
Bells ring as I open the door and enter the police officer. It’s empty, besides Garrett who is sitting at his desk. He jumps up and rushes over to me.
“Tell me whats going on?” I wait for his report with high anticipation.
“Beck is out on the streets. And was able to confirm with Austin PD that the ex has been locked up all weekend. Got into a brawl on sixth street. None of the neighboring towns could offer any support due to being short staffed.”
“Shit!” I barge into my office and aggressively slide all the paperwork off my desk.
Garrett slowly enters. “We’ll find her, Chief.”
I lean against my desk and look towards the ceiling as I gather the words in which i’m about to speak.
“I'm going to share something with you, Garrett. Something I haven't told anybody since moving here.”
He looks curious, but worried. “Okay?”
“Before I moved here, I was a cop in San Antonio. Had been for ten years. Give or take a few. I had seen a lot of heinous shit during those years, but nothing like I did that last call I responded to. A foster shelter massacre. Eight kids slaughtered and the parents were butchered, so viciously that they couldn't be identified except by their dental records. And instead of sticking around to catch the killer… I fled. I couldn't deal with it. It was too hard to handle.”
“Jesus. Look, Robert, don't focus on that anymore. That shits done with. Now you have a chance to catch this guy and move on from that. It may be too late to fix the past, but it's not too late to save this little girl.”
I let out a deep sigh of relief and try to refocus myself. That secret has haunted me ever since the day I left. Now, I finally felt a little comfort. Looking towards Garrett, I shake my head in agreement.
“You’re right. Let's catch this sick bastard.”
We march out of the station and load up into one car. Garrett peels out of the parking lot.
As we drive down Main Street, I see Sheriff Beck parked in the middle of the street at the start of downtown. He is standing next to his car staring as we approach. Garrett pulls up next to him and stops.
“Wait here.” I instruct him.
I step out of the car and walk up to Beck.
“We got nearly the whole damn town at the assembly halls at both schools. Residents have helped spread the word throughout town.” Beck informs me as he scratches his scruffy beard.
Looking down at my watch, “It’s been several hours. Any leads on the little girl?”
“None. Although, I did receive a tip about something going on at the Leeson house.”
“Like what?”
“Just some loud metal music playing. We went out there, but there was no answer when we knocked.”
“And you didn't think to tell me?” I exclaim angrily, walking to Garrett's car. “Stay here and stand guard. Let me know if anything happens. I mean anything.”
The Leeson’s are a quiet church going couple with three kids. Corey, Brian and Lilly. Nearly all of them are the same age. The two boys are five and six and the girl is seven. They are not the type to listen to metal. To them, that is devil music.
As we approach there two story home, my stomach fills with butterflies and I begin to experience a little anxiety. We pull up and i'm frozen in my seat.
“You okay, Chief?” Garrett looks over at me. I can feel his beady eyes upon me.
I clear my throat before answering. “Let’s just get this over with.”
My anxiety intensifies as I knock on the front door. A moment passes with no answer.
“Vern! Lisa! Its Chief Langley!” I shout through the door.
I knock again, this time louder, and still no answer. I twist the doorknob and the door slowly creaks open. Un Holstering my gun, I step in. Without questioning me, Garrett follows behind.
“Leeson’s, are you home?!” The hesitation in my voice is obvious.
The old wooden floor squeaks beneath our boots as we progress further into the house.
“This doesn’t feel right.” Garrett whispers.
“That’s because something isn’t.” I turn back towards him.
We enter the living room. The black reclining chair is tipped over along with the table next to it. It becomes apparent there was some type of struggle. As we reach the other side of the area, there is a trail of blood on the white carpet that leads out of the room.
We follow it cautiously through the kitchen. As we move along, the trail becomes thicker until we reach Lilly’s bedroom.
“Holy shit.” Garrett says lowering his gun.
I stand speechless. My worst thoughts have become a reality. The carpet, walls, and bed are covered in blood. On the floor is Vern and Lisa's dismembered bodies. Vern has been cut in half and decapitated. His head is mounted on the dresser. Lisas legs and arms have been severed from her body. Several feet from the bodies is a Rotorazer Saw.
Garrett barges out of the room and rushes to the backyard. I catch up with him.
“I'm sorry. I've never seen anything like that before.” He says trying to prevent himself from throwing up.
“Don't be sorry. I used to see it all the time and still haven't gotten used to it. Guess theres some things you can never get used to.”
“What're we gonna do?”
“I've got no fucking idea, but this sick bastard is out there somewhere and there could be more victims. I'm going to check the rest of the house for the kids. Meet you out front.”
I hurry back inside and go room to room, thoroughly checking each one. The house is empty. No kids. I meet Garrett in the front.
“Anything?” He asks fanning himself.
“Nothing. That's three missing kids and three dead parents. We need to get forensics from Lockhart out here. Maybe they can pull prints from the saw.”
“I’ll radio them.” He walks to the car and reaches in to grab the walkie.
While he radios in, I seal off the property with caution tape.
“They said about an hour till someone gets out here.”
“We don’t have time to wait around, but this is a crime scene and I don't want noone fucking with it.”
“Want me to radio Beck?”
“Yeah. Tell him what’s going on and have him come stand guard.”
I stand by pondering what our next move should be. Then like a ton of bricks, it hits me. I march over to Garrett who is radioing Beck. “The child molestors. There's two of them, right?” I exclaim intensely.
“Right.” He lowers the walkie down to his side.
“Let's go ask them some questions.”
The first stop is Earl Duncan. Earl has been convicted for two counts of indecent exposure with girls under the age of ten and one count of improper relations with a thirteen year old.
His house looks more like a shack. The metal roof slouches off of the side and its structure is weathered and dilapidated. The windows are covered with tinfoil. His carport is held up by two pieces of rotted wood.
We get out of the car and slowly walk towards the front door.
“How do you want to handle this?” Garrett asks as he adjusts his belt.
“Just follow my lead.”
“You think this sick fuck is the one responsible?”
“Could be. That's what we're going to find out.”
Garrett begins breathing heavily. He becomes tense and his jaw locks up.
“I’ll fuck this guy up.” Garrett says through his grinding teeth.
“Lets see what happens.”
I bang on the screen door. “Police! Open up!”
The front door opens and Earl stares at us through his screen door. He puffs on his cigarette.
“Help you?” He asks in a scratchy voice.
“Got a few questions for you, Earl.”
“Like what?” He blows a cloud of smoke through the screen door and it fills the air in which I breathe.
“Doesn’t matter. Open the door.” Garrett leans over my shoulder.
I turn and look at Garrett. A look which says step back.
“We have some questions. Will you at least step out?” I attempt reasoning with him.
He hesitates, but opens the door and steps out. He closes the screen door with a great push.
“Where were you this morning?” I stand closely, hoping to intimidate him.
“Here. Feeding my cats. Why?” He flicks his cigarette into his overgrown yard.
“All morning? You haven't left?”
“No. I’ve been here bullshitting around. Why?” He tilts his head up with curiosity.
“Anybody who can vouch that for you?” I cross my arms.
“Just my cats.” He smirks revealing a smattering of yellow teeth.
“Fuck this!” Garrett yells, shoving me out of the way and grabbing Earl by the collar.
He jerks him around. “I oughtta punch you in the mouth for being a smart ass. Answers his fucking questions with respect you piece of shit.”
“Garrett, let him go!”
He ignores me and shakes him violently. I bear hug Garrett and pull him loose. Earl falls to the ground once he lets him go.
“And stay down.” Garrett tries going after him again, but I back him up.
Earl slowly gets up and rushes back inside, locking his door. I shove Garrett towards his squad car.
“What the hell was that?!” I throw my hands in the air.
“That guy's an asshole and a monster. Why’re you defending him?” He adjusts his shirt back to normal.
“I’m defending you. If that was our guy, then you fucked us by assaulting him. They would dismiss whatever case we had based on police brutality.”
Garrett shakes his head with disbelief.
“Next house, you’re staying in the car.”
The next pedophile had a solid alibi. He was at work all night and day. Forensics said they wouldn't be out until morning due to several crimes happening in their area. Same goes for the detective. We were at a dead end.
I return home and turn to what has always worked for me on days like this. Drinking. I pour myself a couple shots of whiskey and down the hatch they go. Immediately I feel a sense of ease. My nerves are settled and I can gather my thoughts as I sit on my sectional. I pour several more shots and within the hour, I am passed out with the bottle in my hand.
The next morning I walk into my office and sit at my desk, shuffling through case files of people with violent pasts, or any past at all.
Garrett enters, “Boss, detective is here to talk to you.”
He steps out of the way and the detective steps in. This detective is just over six feet with slicked back black hair and he's skinny. His suit is perfectly dry cleaned and I can see the light reflecting off of his black shoes.
“Detective Barnes.” He sticks his hand out.
I stand and shake it firmly. “Nice to meet you. Please have a seat.”
“I’d rather stand.”
“Okay.” I remain standing as well, feeling intimidated. I don't want to say the wrong thing, so I await his response.
“I’ve been to both crime scenes this morning and feel i’ve already started to develop a profile for your suspect.”
“What's the profile?”
“First off, let me start off by saying my record is flawless. I’ve been doing this for twenty years and have yet to allow a killer to evade me. Now, the first thing that caught my attention was the kids were not murdered. At least not at their house. They were taken. Which means this person has a soft spot for kids. He doesn't want to harm them. He wants something from them. And the three victims all have a connection according to your Sheriff.”
“What connection?” I lean forward slightly.
“They both served on the board for the pta and attended the same church.”
“So, the killer could be on either one of those things with them?”
“No, not could be, but is.” The confidence in his voice restores the hope I had lost.
“Is there anything else?”
“Yeah. It's safe to say that this person has kids of their own which would allow them to stay connected with other pta members and be active in sunday school stuff at Church. You ever heard of Wolves in Sheeps clothing?”
I nod my head.
“That”s what they are. I would even bet they haven't left the county.”
“What do we do? We can't just kick everyone's door in until we find them?”
“Unfortunately, we have to wait until the Wolf strikes again. I need lists of the entire pta, church attendees and their addresses in the meantime.”
“I'll get you those and I'll ride with you.”
“I work alone.” He puts on his aviators.
He turns and walks out of the office. I remain stuck, floored by everything he just told me.
The remainder of the day is spent going door to door, passing along missing flyers to surrounding counties, and calming the nerves of residents as we explain that everything is under control.
As I drive up to the station, the sun is starting to set, casting a purple and orange glow throughout the sky. A yawn escapes from me as I step out of my vehicle.
I enter my office and sit at the desk. Immediately, Detective Barnes walks in and slams a notepad down.
“This is all i’ve gathered today.” He pulls up his pants in a nonchalant way.
I pick it up and begin flipping through page after page. “Lot of information for one day. Any of it stick out?”
“Not it, but him. One guy sticks out above the rest.”
“Who?” I set the notepad down and look up at him. Detective Barnes leans in. “David Beck.”
“My Sheriff? Have you lost your fucking mind?” I spring up from my seat and slam my hand down. “There’s no way!”
“Can I continue?”
I pause and take a deep breath before recollecting my seat.
“Thank you. David Beck shares a connection with both victims in ways none of the other people on the lists I have. David has two kids of his own and served on the pta with Susan. They even dated for a while, but it didn't work out due to him working all the time. And he and Vern Leeson served as ushers at the Church together. Their kids even had weekly play dates.” He stops and studies my expression which is disbelief with everything he is saying.
“It doesn't make sense.” I shake my head.
“It never does. I don't even bother to make sense of these things anymore. And a little tip for you, don't let personal feelings ever cloud your judgement. Remember, people aren't always as they seem.” He tells me in a almost challenging tone of voice.
Just before he walks out of the office, he turns and glares at me. “Keep this between us. Don't want noone tipping him off.”
The confidence in his voice made him sound so sure, but I still didn't fully believe it. What if it is Beck and I had been blinded by his outward appearance and personality? If I don't follow this lead and do what I have to, he could get away with this. I won't let another Monster get away from me despite my best thinking and judgement.
I leave the station and set out on the hardest task i'll ever have to face. As I walk up to his house, the driveway is vacant. He shouldn't be done with his shift for a little longer and I should have at least an hour.
I attempt opening the screen door, but it's locked. I walk around his brick house and hop the back fence. As I approach the backdoor, loud metal music playing inside is audible. I try the back door, locked. I walk along side peeking through the windows, but it's hard to see through the tint. Damn near impossible.
I leave his house. On my way back to work I draw up things which seemed odd and there was one thing that kept popping up. The metal music playing despite nobody being home. Maybe he forgot to turn it off when he left, I try making myself feel better about the situation.
I pull into the parking lot and he's standing by his squad car smoking a cigarette. I park next to him and get out.
“Chief.” He tips his hat to me.
“How'd it go out there today?” I stand to the side of him.
“Good. I mean as good as can be expected. It's a horrific thing.”
With all my sensability, I try choosing my words carefully as not to give off suspicion. “Yeah, it is. How are you holding up?”
He drops his cigarette and steps on it. “Alright I guess. It's a tough thing, you know? What if it were my kids? I couldn't imagine.”
“Let's be thankful it's not. You’ve got two really great kids.”
“Thanks, Chief. Speaking of which, i'm going to go pick them up and head home. Been a long day.”
He turns away from me and starts walking off. “Beck!”
He turns to look at me. “Yeah?”
“Maybe I can come by tonight and we can have a drink.” I say with a cheerful tone.
“Tonight's not good. Already have plans.” He turns and walks off.
I stand stuck in place. My one idea of cracking this thing has failed. I head back inside and sit in my office. I remove a bottle from my desk drawer and commence to drink a few swigs, hoping to get things flowing.
The bells on the front door are set off by somebody walking in. I quickly put the bottle away. Garrett walks in shortly after.
“Im headed home, Boss. I'll see you in the morning.” He gives me a friendly salute and walks out.
I wait for the sound of the bells and start to drink again. Detective Barnes steps into the doorway.
“Can't do this if you’re impaired.”
“I can handle my liquor.” I reply defensively.
“Do you want to know how i've solved every case i've been assigned?”
I nod my head.
He steps into the office and sits down across the table from me.
“I do whatever I damn well need to. No morals, ethics, or any other bullshit gets in my way. Because if a person is guilty, they're guilty. You don't have to sabotage the truth if it's the truth.” He winks and stands up.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Probable cause, Chief. That's all you need to move forward. Doesn't matter what it is.” He casually walks out of the office.
I pull up and park a few houses down from Becks. Turning off my headlights I get out of my car. The humid night air is stale and the street is quiet. Only the sounds of my footsteps against the sidewalk as I run are audible. I look around to see if there's anybody outside and there's no sign of movement. Everything is completely still.
I approach Beck's car and check the door. It’s unlocked. Hesitantly, I remove a list with the victims names and addresses. My heart thunders in my chest as I hold it. I frantically look around and quickly toss it on the seat. I silently close the door and sprint back to my car.
I call Detective Barnes. “It’s done.”
At Civil twilight the next morning, Detective Barnes, myself, and Garrett walk up to Beck's house with our guns drawn.
Barnes is friends with a judge in his county, so he was able to have a warrant expedited overnight. He bangs on the screen door.
“Police!”
Beck opens the doors in his boxers and dirty tank top. He’s holding a bowl of cereal. “What the hell?” He says confused, taking a bite of cereal.
“We’ve got a warrant. Open the door.” Barnes commands him in a thundering voice.
Beck complies and opens the door. Barnes shoves him out of the way and rushes inside. Garrett follows closely behind. Beck marches up to me.
“Chief, what the hell is this?” He throws his hands up.
“I only know as much as you do.” Filled with guilt about what i've done, I avoid eye contact with him.
“That's bullshit!”
“There's reasons to believe you may be involved in those murders and kidnappings.”
“Fucking seriously?” He grabs his hair and stares at me intensely.
Without anything to say to help him, I remain silent. He does as well. Detective Barnes and Garrett walk out of the house.
“The house is clear!” Barnes announces.
“What about his car?” Garrett asks.
“Search it.” Barnes instructs him.
Garrett walks over and begins searching the car. He checks it thoroughly and comes out holding the paper I had put.
“Found this.” Garrett hands Barnes the paper.
Barnes scans it and looks at Beck. “Arrest him.”
“For what?!” Beck is shocked.
My stomach sinks to the floor as Garrett turns him around and handcuffs him.
“Why do you have a list of the victims written down?” Beck holds the paper to his face.
“I don't know where that shit came from. It ain't mine.”
“Take him.” Barnes shoves Beck as Garrett walks him to his car and loads him into the back.
“Good work, Chief.” Barnes pats me on the back.
“What the hell are you talking about? You didn't find anything.” I get in Barnes’s face.
“We will. Just give it a little time.”
“What if it's not him after all and you're wrong?”
“It’s him.” He says with a sense of pride in his voice.
Barnes turns and gets into Garrett's car. They peel off, leaving me standing in the front yard.
I walk in and Detective Barnes has turned my office into an interrogation room. He stands across the table from Beck who is sitting handcuffed.
“Tell me about this list.” Barnes slides the forged list across the table.
“Look, man, I don't know shit about this.”
I join Barnes on the other side of the desk.
“Why'd you do it?” Barnes walks around and stands above Beck.
“I already told you. I didn't.”
The guilt I feel has formed into a sickness. I feel dizzy, like I could collapse any second.
“I need to go.” I rush out of the room and run outside.
The fresh air calms me immediately. Unable to finish the interrogation, I drive home. As I arrive to my front door, I see a manilla envelope resting on my doorstep. It faces upwards and written in sharpie on the front is “TO ROBERT”.
I look around and pick it up. I slowly open it and remove a picture. The picture is of the missing children along with another child covered in dirt locked in a cage. Standing next to the cage is a man wearing a faceless mask. The other kid is the child of rancher Joe Walker.
My heart sinks into my stomach and time freezes. My hold on the picture loosens and it falls to the ground. I gather my bearings and call in to Garrett as I haul ass to Joe's ranch.
Dirt and gravel fly up from underneath my tires as I speed down the road leading to Joe's house. I come to a sliding stop and hop out. I’m the first on scene, but that doesn't stop me from rushing up to the house and kicking the door in once nobody answers.
“Robert!” I yell as I swiftly maneuver through the house.
After my search is complete and I find nothing, I run out of the house and across the way to his one story brown barn. As soon as I enter I see him. He's hanging in the center of the barn from his feet. His head has been cut off and the blood from his body has been drained into buckets.
“Fuck!” I exclaim.
I walk outside and am met by Detective Barnes and Garrett.
“Guess you were wrong.” I tell Barnes sarcastically in passing.
I uncuff Beck. He stands and massages his wrists, glaring at me with disgust.
“Can't believe you thought I did this. Even after I told you I didn't.”
I remain speechless with my tongue tied in knots. He shakes his head and walks out of the station. The guilt in which I felt before has intensified after the series of events that has just occurred. It was never him. Barnes had been wrong all along.
The coroner is called along with forensics to travel out to the Walker ranch. I remain at the station. I cannot stomach anymore then i've already seen. Instead, I contemplate what i'm going to tell the cocky Detective.
Detective Barnes storms into the station and begins fuming when he sees Beck has been cut loose.
“What the hell?” He exclaims, putting his hands on his sides.
“I had to let him go. It’s obvious it wasn't him.”
“Bullshit. He’s involved in all this somehow.”
“Just admit it. You were wrong. We’re spending all our energy on him instead of finding who actually is behind this.” I tell him as calmly as I can.
This pushes him over the edge. “I've already told you! I'm never wrong. And i've been dying to ask you. How did you know to go out to that ranch?”
I stand and pass him the manilla envelope. He opens it and stares at the picture. He doesn't say anything, but studies it.
“That little girl in the back with the curls is Joe Walker's daughter. As soon as I saw it, I knew something was wrong.”
He slides the picture back in the envelope and studies the writing on the front. “They know your name.”
“That could be any of the five thousand people who live in this town.”
He points to the R in my name. “That's critical right there. The top is detached from itself.”
“What’re we going to do? Line the entire town up and force them to write an R?”
Garrett walks in with a stack of papers and hands them to me. “Here’s those reports.”
Detective Barnes stares at the papers in my hands. “Can I see those?”
I hand them over to him and he sets them down on the table. He skims them and begins flipping through the pages.
“Hmm. That's interesting.” He says in a low tone.
“What?” I peer over his shoulder at the papers.
He points to something on a couple of them. “All of his R’s are detached from themselves.”
The hairs on my body become stiff and my skin turns prickly.
“And look at the O’s.” He continues as he points to them. “They’re half circles.”
“What about Beck?”
“This is our guy. It's no coincidence that it's identical handwriting.”
“Can you get a warrant based off of this?”
He nods his head. “Yeah. There's been cases before that have led to arrests based off of shit like this.”
As I pull onto Garrett's street, I look down at my car's clock. The glowing numbers read 2:35. I park behind Becks car and he walks up to us.
“Sorry about earlier. No hard feelings?” Detective Barnes sticks out his hand in hopes of making a truce.
Beck shoves his hand away. “You accused me of murder and kidnapping. Fuck outta here.”
“This is bigger than about ya’ll two. Let's get this over with.”
I jog up to the front door with the other two following closely behind. I kick open the front door and we rush inside with our guns drawn.
The living room is filthy and there's a stale odor in the air. Pieces of trash litter the floor and table. We begin our hike down the long dark hallway. A child's faint whimpers can be heard coming from around the corner.
As I round the corner, I stop in my tracks. There's an open door with a staircase leading down to the basement. I grope for a light switch, but there is none. The child whimpers again and this time it's louder and more clear.
Detective Barnes shoves me out of the way and turns on his flashlight. He begins his descent down the stairs. I follow on his tail. We reach the bottom and he scans the basement with the light. One of the children's beady eyes passes through the light. He stops and moves towards them.
He shines the light on them. They all cower in the corner bunched up together. “It's okay. We're here to take you home.” Barnes says in a soothing voice.
“Jesus.” Beck says horrified.
A loud thud comes from above us.
“Garrett.” I run towards the stairs and travel up them as fast as I can.
Beck and Barnes stay behind to tend to the kids. I enter the living room and Garrett charges at me with an axe. I open fire, shooting him several times. He drops face flat to the ground.
We walk the kids out front and wait for Lockhart EMS to come and take the kids to their hospital. After they are transported and Garrett's body is taken, I stand with Barnes and Beck with a sense of relief.
“Thank you for your help.” I tell Barnes with sincerity. “I don't think I could've done it on my own.”
“I know. And for the record, I technically wasn't wrong about who it was.” Detective Barnes says with a smirk.
“Yeah you were.” Beck chimes in.
“It was a Sheriff. Therefore, I was partially right which means I wasn't wrong.” Detective Barnes cracks a half ass smile.
I let the Detective stew in his pride and walk to my vehicle. I sigh before starting up the car and driving off. As I turn back and look at the two standing there, Beck locks eyes with me and waves. He grins and winks.
submitted by TormentedTales to creepypasta [link] [comments]


2017.09.27 07:48 TormentedTales All the missing children

My name is Robert Langley and I live in a small town just outside of Smiley, Texas. The town's population is just under five thousand, but feels smaller due to how widespread the county is. There are two schools, three gas stations, one mega church, a small police station with one cell, and two local grocery stores. There is one main street which runs from county line to county line. I have grown to appreciate it and become familiar with most of its residents.
I am the Chief of Police. Have been since I moved here two years ago. There are two Sheriffs that make up the entire department. There’s rarely any crime in this town, so we don't need many. The worse crime i’ve come across was when I first started, and it was a drunk man pissing on somebody's car, because the man had upset him.
This town is a safe place. Residents leave their doors unlocked overnight as they sleep and sometimes in the fall when the weather changes, they open their doors to let the breeze flow through there house. The children ride their bikes through the neighborhoods unattended while others laugh and play in there freshly cut yards. If I had to find one word to describe it, I’d say it's damn near perfect. On August 26, 2016 this would all change.
My Iphone rings. “Chief Langley”, I answer while on my way into work.
“Chief, it’s Sheriff Garrett.” His voice is low and somber.
“Go ahead.”
“You're gonna want to make your way down here to Hunt Street.” He says with reserve in his voice.
I can tell that something is wrong. “What is it?”
“Chief, i'd rather not say over the phone.”
His lack of information frustrates me. I hang up and flip on my sirens. For the first time since i’ve been here, they ring through the mid morning air. I press my foot down to the floor and speed down the street.
As I pull up to the little green house on Hunt, I see Sheriff Garrett waiting out front. The house is sealed off by yellow caution tape. His vehicle is parked on the curb and is positioned just to where it's blocking the sidewalk.
I park next to it and hop out. He fastly approaches me.
“What’s going on?” I ask impatiently.
He remains silent and just shakes his head no. I continue to the front door without stopping in between. The front door is wide open and I see the woman's feet in the entry way. I pick up my pace, ducking under the caution tape. I enter the house and see something I haven't seen in a long time.
Susan Meyer, a twenty eight year old single mother lying face down in a pool of blood. Her shirt has been ripped off and she has dozens of stab wounds in her back.
I turn to Garrett who stands just behind me. “Where’s her kid?”
Susan has a nine year old daughter. He holds his hands up, signaling he doesn't know.
“Put an apb out now. We need to alert everybody. Every moment that passes, that child's life is in danger.”
I nudge him out of the door. He runs to his vehicle and nearly trips over himself. I examine the body and surrounding area for a moment before meeting Garrett outside.
“Apb is out.”
“Okay. I want all hands on deck and I want the entire town locked down. And let's find her ex. That's a good place to start.”
“Roger.” Garrett turns to head towards his vehicle.
“Garrett!” I call out to him.
“Yeah, Chief?”
“Who found her?”
“The neighbor. Said she came over to bring her some brownies and she let herself in when Susan didn’t answer.”
“Go on. I’ll talk to her. I want you in charge of things while i'm not there.” I signal him to go with a commanding nod.
As he drives off, I walk up and knock on the neighbor's door.
Betty Hutchinson, an eighty year old woman opens the door. Time has not been kind to her. Her face is wrinkled like a prune and she has a hunch back which causes her to slump over.
“Mrs. Hutchinson.” I tip my cowboy hat to her.
She's still very much shaken up by what transpired. “Yes?” Her voice is frail and crackly.
“I just had a couple questions. Mind if I come in?”
Without answering, she hobbles out of the doorway and allows me to step inside. We walk to her living room and sit down. A thick cloud of dust comes off of the couch as I sit on it.
“Did you happen to hear anything or see anyone?” I ask with a pen in one hand and a notepad in the other.
“Afraid not.” She says, sounding like she may cry.
“Has she had any visitors recently that you're aware of?”
“Oh, no. She always kept to herself. Such a pretty young thing.” Betty wipes a tear from her chapped cheek.
“Thank you for your time, Betty.” I stand and walk towards the door.
“I'll bring yall some brownies by real soon.” She trails just behind me.
I offer her a friendly smile and leave her house.
Bells ring as I open the door and enter the police officer. It’s empty, besides Garrett who is sitting at his desk. He jumps up and rushes over to me.
“Tell me whats going on?” I wait for his report with high anticipation.
“Beck is out on the streets. And was able to confirm with Austin PD that the ex has been locked up all weekend. Got into a brawl on sixth street. None of the neighboring towns could offer any support due to being short staffed.”
“Shit!” I barge into my office and aggressively slide all the paperwork off my desk.
Garrett slowly enters. “We’ll find her, Chief.”
I lean against my desk and look towards the ceiling as I gather the words in which i’m about to speak.
“I'm going to share something with you, Garrett. Something I haven't told anybody since moving here.”
He looks curious, but worried. “Okay?”
“Before I moved here, I was a cop in San Antonio. Had been for ten years. Give or take a few. I had seen a lot of heinous shit during those years, but nothing like I did that last call I responded to. A foster shelter massacre. Eight kids slaughtered and the parents were butchered, so viciously that they couldn't be identified except by their dental records. And instead of sticking around to catch the killer… I fled. I couldn't deal with it. It was too hard to handle.”
“Jesus. Look, Robert, don't focus on that anymore. That shits done with. Now you have a chance to catch this guy and move on from that. It may be too late to fix the past, but it's not too late to save this little girl.”
I let out a deep sigh of relief and try to refocus myself. That secret has haunted me ever since the day I left. Now, I finally felt a little comfort. Looking towards Garrett, I shake my head in agreement.
“You’re right. Let's catch this sick bastard.”
We march out of the station and load up into one car. Garrett peels out of the parking lot.
As we drive down Main Street, I see Sheriff Beck parked in the middle of the street at the start of downtown. He is standing next to his car staring as we approach. Garrett pulls up next to him and stops.
“Wait here.” I instruct him.
I step out of the car and walk up to Beck.
“We got nearly the whole damn town at the assembly halls at both schools. Residents have helped spread the word throughout town.” Beck informs me as he scratches his scruffy beard.
Looking down at my watch, “It’s been several hours. Any leads on the little girl?”
“None. Although, I did receive a tip about something going on at the Leeson house.”
“Like what?”
“Just some loud metal music playing. We went out there, but there was no answer when we knocked.”
“And you didn't think to tell me?” I exclaim angrily, walking to Garrett's car. “Stay here and stand guard. Let me know if anything happens. I mean anything.”
The Leeson’s are a quiet church going couple with three kids. Corey, Brian and Lilly. Nearly all of them are the same age. The two boys are five and six and the girl is seven. They are not the type to listen to metal. To them, that is devil music.
As we approach there two story home, my stomach fills with butterflies and I begin to experience a little anxiety. We pull up and i'm frozen in my seat.
“You okay, Chief?” Garrett looks over at me. I can feel his beady eyes upon me.
I clear my throat before answering. “Let’s just get this over with.”
My anxiety intensifies as I knock on the front door. A moment passes with no answer.
“Vern! Lisa! Its Chief Langley!” I shout through the door.
I knock again, this time louder, and still no answer. I twist the doorknob and the door slowly creaks open. Un Holstering my gun, I step in. Without questioning me, Garrett follows behind.
“Leeson’s, are you home?!” The hesitation in my voice is obvious.
The old wooden floor squeaks beneath our boots as we progress further into the house.
“This doesn’t feel right.” Garrett whispers.
“That’s because something isn’t.” I turn back towards him.
We enter the living room. The black reclining chair is tipped over along with the table next to it. It becomes apparent there was some type of struggle. As we reach the other side of the area, there is a trail of blood on the white carpet that leads out of the room.
We follow it cautiously through the kitchen. As we move along, the trail becomes thicker until we reach Lilly’s bedroom.
“Holy shit.” Garrett says lowering his gun.
I stand speechless. My worst thoughts have become a reality. The carpet, walls, and bed are covered in blood. On the floor is Vern and Lisa's dismembered bodies. Vern has been cut in half and decapitated. His head is mounted on the dresser. Lisas legs and arms have been severed from her body. Several feet from the bodies is a Rotorazer Saw.
Garrett barges out of the room and rushes to the backyard. I catch up with him.
“I'm sorry. I've never seen anything like that before.” He says trying to prevent himself from throwing up.
“Don't be sorry. I used to see it all the time and still haven't gotten used to it. Guess theres some things you can never get used to.”
“What're we gonna do?”
“I've got no fucking idea, but this sick bastard is out there somewhere and there could be more victims. I'm going to check the rest of the house for the kids. Meet you out front.”
I hurry back inside and go room to room, thoroughly checking each one. The house is empty. No kids. I meet Garrett in the front.
“Anything?” He asks fanning himself.
“Nothing. That's three missing kids and three dead parents. We need to get forensics from Lockhart out here. Maybe they can pull prints from the saw.”
“I’ll radio them.” He walks to the car and reaches in to grab the walkie.
While he radios in, I seal off the property with caution tape.
“They said about an hour till someone gets out here.”
“We don’t have time to wait around, but this is a crime scene and I don't want noone fucking with it.”
“Want me to radio Beck?”
“Yeah. Tell him what’s going on and have him come stand guard.”
I stand by pondering what our next move should be. Then like a ton of bricks, it hits me. I march over to Garrett who is radioing Beck. “The child molestors. There's two of them, right?” I exclaim intensely.
“Right.” He lowers the walkie down to his side.
“Let's go ask them some questions.”
The first stop is Earl Duncan. Earl has been convicted for two counts of indecent exposure with girls under the age of ten and one count of improper relations with a thirteen year old.
His house looks more like a shack. The metal roof slouches off of the side and its structure is weathered and dilapidated. The windows are covered with tinfoil. His carport is held up by two pieces of rotted wood.
We get out of the car and slowly walk towards the front door.
“How do you want to handle this?” Garrett asks as he adjusts his belt.
“Just follow my lead.”
“You think this sick fuck is the one responsible?”
“Could be. That's what we're going to find out.”
Garrett begins breathing heavily. He becomes tense and his jaw locks up.
“I’ll fuck this guy up.” Garrett says through his grinding teeth.
“Lets see what happens.”
I bang on the screen door. “Police! Open up!”
The front door opens and Earl stares at us through his screen door. He puffs on his cigarette.
“Help you?” He asks in a scratchy voice.
“Got a few questions for you, Earl.”
“Like what?” He blows a cloud of smoke through the screen door and it fills the air in which I breathe.
“Doesn’t matter. Open the door.” Garrett leans over my shoulder.
I turn and look at Garrett. A look which says step back.
“We have some questions. Will you at least step out?” I attempt reasoning with him.
He hesitates, but opens the door and steps out. He closes the screen door with a great push.
“Where were you this morning?” I stand closely, hoping to intimidate him.
“Here. Feeding my cats. Why?” He flicks his cigarette into his overgrown yard.
“All morning? You haven't left?”
“No. I’ve been here bullshitting around. Why?” He tilts his head up with curiosity.
“Anybody who can vouch that for you?” I cross my arms.
“Just my cats.” He smirks revealing a smattering of yellow teeth.
“Fuck this!” Garrett yells, shoving me out of the way and grabbing Earl by the collar.
He jerks him around. “I oughtta punch you in the mouth for being a smart ass. Answers his fucking questions with respect you piece of shit.”
“Garrett, let him go!”
He ignores me and shakes him violently. I bear hug Garrett and pull him loose. Earl falls to the ground once he lets him go.
“And stay down.” Garrett tries going after him again, but I back him up.
Earl slowly gets up and rushes back inside, locking his door. I shove Garrett towards his squad car.
“What the hell was that?!” I throw my hands in the air.
“That guy's an asshole and a monster. Why’re you defending him?” He adjusts his shirt back to normal.
“I’m defending you. If that was our guy, then you fucked us by assaulting him. They would dismiss whatever case we had based on police brutality.”
Garrett shakes his head with disbelief.
“Next house, you’re staying in the car.”
The next pedophile had a solid alibi. He was at work all night and day. Forensics said they wouldn't be out until morning due to several crimes happening in their area. Same goes for the detective. We were at a dead end.
I return home and turn to what has always worked for me on days like this. Drinking. I pour myself a couple shots of whiskey and down the hatch they go. Immediately I feel a sense of ease. My nerves are settled and I can gather my thoughts as I sit on my sectional. I pour several more shots and within the hour, I am passed out with the bottle in my hand.
The next morning I walk into my office and sit at my desk, shuffling through case files of people with violent pasts, or any past at all.
Garrett enters, “Boss, detective is here to talk to you.”
He steps out of the way and the detective steps in. This detective is just over six feet with slicked back black hair and he's skinny. His suit is perfectly dry cleaned and I can see the light reflecting off of his black shoes.
“Detective Barnes.” He sticks his hand out.
I stand and shake it firmly. “Nice to meet you. Please have a seat.”
“I’d rather stand.”
“Okay.” I remain standing as well, feeling intimidated. I don't want to say the wrong thing, so I await his response.
“I’ve been to both crime scenes this morning and feel i’ve already started to develop a profile for your suspect.”
“What's the profile?”
“First off, let me start off by saying my record is flawless. I’ve been doing this for twenty years and have yet to allow a killer to evade me. Now, the first thing that caught my attention was the kids were not murdered. At least not at their house. They were taken. Which means this person has a soft spot for kids. He doesn't want to harm them. He wants something from them. And the three victims all have a connection according to your Sheriff.”
“What connection?” I lean forward slightly.
“They both served on the board for the pta and attended the same church.”
“So, the killer could be on either one of those things with them?”
“No, not could be, but is.” The confidence in his voice restores the hope I had lost.
“Is there anything else?”
“Yeah. It's safe to say that this person has kids of their own which would allow them to stay connected with other pta members and be active in sunday school stuff at Church. You ever heard of Wolves in Sheeps clothing?”
I nod my head.
“That”s what they are. I would even bet they haven't left the county.”
“What do we do? We can't just kick everyone's door in until we find them?”
“Unfortunately, we have to wait until the Wolf strikes again. I need lists of the entire pta, church attendees and their addresses in the meantime.”
“I'll get you those and I'll ride with you.”
“I work alone.” He puts on his aviators.
He turns and walks out of the office. I remain stuck, floored by everything he just told me.
The remainder of the day is spent going door to door, passing along missing flyers to surrounding counties, and calming the nerves of residents as we explain that everything is under control.
As I drive up to the station, the sun is starting to set, casting a purple and orange glow throughout the sky. A yawn escapes from me as I step out of my vehicle.
I enter my office and sit at the desk. Immediately, Detective Barnes walks in and slams a notepad down.
“This is all i’ve gathered today.” He pulls up his pants in a nonchalant way.
I pick it up and begin flipping through page after page. “Lot of information for one day. Any of it stick out?”
“Not it, but him. One guy sticks out above the rest.”
“Who?” I set the notepad down and look up at him. Detective Barnes leans in. “David Beck.”
“My Sheriff? Have you lost your fucking mind?” I spring up from my seat and slam my hand down. “There’s no way!”
“Can I continue?”
I pause and take a deep breath before recollecting my seat.
“Thank you. David Beck shares a connection with both victims in ways none of the other people on the lists I have. David has two kids of his own and served on the pta with Susan. They even dated for a while, but it didn't work out due to him working all the time. And he and Vern Leeson served as ushers at the Church together. Their kids even had weekly play dates.” He stops and studies my expression which is disbelief with everything he is saying.
“It doesn't make sense.” I shake my head.
“It never does. I don't even bother to make sense of these things anymore. And a little tip for you, don't let personal feelings ever cloud your judgement. Remember, people aren't always as they seem.” He tells me in a almost challenging tone of voice.
Just before he walks out of the office, he turns and glares at me. “Keep this between us. Don't want noone tipping him off.”
The confidence in his voice made him sound so sure, but I still didn't fully believe it. What if it is Beck and I had been blinded by his outward appearance and personality? If I don't follow this lead and do what I have to, he could get away with this. I won't let another Monster get away from me despite my best thinking and judgement.
I leave the station and set out on the hardest task i'll ever have to face. As I walk up to his house, the driveway is vacant. He shouldn't be done with his shift for a little longer and I should have at least an hour.
I attempt opening the screen door, but it's locked. I walk around his brick house and hop the back fence. As I approach the backdoor, loud metal music playing inside is audible. I try the back door, locked. I walk along side peeking through the windows, but it's hard to see through the tint. Damn near impossible.
I leave his house. On my way back to work I draw up things which seemed odd and there was one thing that kept popping up. The metal music playing despite nobody being home. Maybe he forgot to turn it off when he left, I try making myself feel better about the situation.
I pull into the parking lot and he's standing by his squad car smoking a cigarette. I park next to him and get out.
“Chief.” He tips his hat to me.
“How'd it go out there today?” I stand to the side of him.
“Good. I mean as good as can be expected. It's a horrific thing.”
With all my sensability, I try choosing my words carefully as not to give off suspicion. “Yeah, it is. How are you holding up?”
He drops his cigarette and steps on it. “Alright I guess. It's a tough thing, you know? What if it were my kids? I couldn't imagine.”
“Let's be thankful it's not. You’ve got two really great kids.”
“Thanks, Chief. Speaking of which, i'm going to go pick them up and head home. Been a long day.”
He turns away from me and starts walking off. “Beck!”
He turns to look at me. “Yeah?”
“Maybe I can come by tonight and we can have a drink.” I say with a cheerful tone.
“Tonight's not good. Already have plans.” He turns and walks off.
I stand stuck in place. My one idea of cracking this thing has failed. I head back inside and sit in my office. I remove a bottle from my desk drawer and commence to drink a few swigs, hoping to get things flowing.
The bells on the front door are set off by somebody walking in. I quickly put the bottle away. Garrett walks in shortly after.
“Im headed home, Boss. I'll see you in the morning.” He gives me a friendly salute and walks out.
I wait for the sound of the bells and start to drink again. Detective Barnes steps into the doorway.
“Can't do this if you’re impaired.”
“I can handle my liquor.” I reply defensively.
“Do you want to know how i've solved every case i've been assigned?”
I nod my head.
He steps into the office and sits down across the table from me.
“I do whatever I damn well need to. No morals, ethics, or any other bullshit gets in my way. Because if a person is guilty, they're guilty. You don't have to sabotage the truth if it's the truth.” He winks and stands up.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Probable cause, Chief. That's all you need to move forward. Doesn't matter what it is.” He casually walks out of the office.
I pull up and park a few houses down from Becks. Turning off my headlights I get out of my car. The humid night air is stale and the street is quiet. Only the sounds of my footsteps against the sidewalk as I run are audible. I look around to see if there's anybody outside and there's no sign of movement. Everything is completely still.
I approach Beck's car and check the door. It’s unlocked. Hesitantly, I remove a list with the victims names and addresses. My heart thunders in my chest as I hold it. I frantically look around and quickly toss it on the seat. I silently close the door and sprint back to my car.
I call Detective Barnes. “It’s done.”
At Civil twilight the next morning, Detective Barnes, myself, and Garrett walk up to Beck's house with our guns drawn.
Barnes is friends with a judge in his county, so he was able to have a warrant expedited overnight. He bangs on the screen door.
“Police!”
Beck opens the doors in his boxers and dirty tank top. He’s holding a bowl of cereal. “What the hell?” He says confused, taking a bite of cereal.
“We’ve got a warrant. Open the door.” Barnes commands him in a thundering voice.
Beck complies and opens the door. Barnes shoves him out of the way and rushes inside. Garrett follows closely behind. Beck marches up to me.
“Chief, what the hell is this?” He throws his hands up.
“I only know as much as you do.” Filled with guilt about what i've done, I avoid eye contact with him.
“That's bullshit!”
“There's reasons to believe you may be involved in those murders and kidnappings.”
“Fucking seriously?” He grabs his hair and stares at me intensely.
Without anything to say to help him, I remain silent. He does as well. Detective Barnes and Garrett walk out of the house.
“The house is clear!” Barnes announces.
“What about his car?” Garrett asks.
“Search it.” Barnes instructs him.
Garrett walks over and begins searching the car. He checks it thoroughly and comes out holding the paper I had put.
“Found this.” Garrett hands Barnes the paper.
Barnes scans it and looks at Beck. “Arrest him.”
“For what?!” Beck is shocked.
My stomach sinks to the floor as Garrett turns him around and handcuffs him.
“Why do you have a list of the victims written down?” Beck holds the paper to his face.
“I don't know where that shit came from. It ain't mine.”
“Take him.” Barnes shoves Beck as Garrett walks him to his car and loads him into the back.
“Good work, Chief.” Barnes pats me on the back.
“What the hell are you talking about? You didn't find anything.” I get in Barnes’s face.
“We will. Just give it a little time.”
“What if it's not him after all and you're wrong?”
“It’s him.” He says with a sense of pride in his voice.
Barnes turns and gets into Garrett's car. They peel off, leaving me standing in the front yard.
I walk in and Detective Barnes has turned my office into an interrogation room. He stands across the table from Beck who is sitting handcuffed.
“Tell me about this list.” Barnes slides the forged list across the table.
“Look, man, I don't know shit about this.”
I join Barnes on the other side of the desk.
“Why'd you do it?” Barnes walks around and stands above Beck.
“I already told you. I didn't.”
The guilt I feel has formed into a sickness. I feel dizzy, like I could collapse any second.
“I need to go.” I rush out of the room and run outside.
The fresh air calms me immediately. Unable to finish the interrogation, I drive home. As I arrive to my front door, I see a manilla envelope resting on my doorstep. It faces upwards and written in sharpie on the front is “TO ROBERT”.
I look around and pick it up. I slowly open it and remove a picture. The picture is of the missing children along with another child covered in dirt locked in a cage. Standing next to the cage is a man wearing a faceless mask. The other kid is the child of rancher Joe Walker.
My heart sinks into my stomach and time freezes. My hold on the picture loosens and it falls to the ground. I gather my bearings and call in to Garrett as I haul ass to Joe's ranch.
Dirt and gravel fly up from underneath my tires as I speed down the road leading to Joe's house. I come to a sliding stop and hop out. I’m the first on scene, but that doesn't stop me from rushing up to the house and kicking the door in once nobody answers.
“Robert!” I yell as I swiftly maneuver through the house.
After my search is complete and I find nothing, I run out of the house and across the way to his one story brown barn. As soon as I enter I see him. He's hanging in the center of the barn from his feet. His head has been cut off and the blood from his body has been drained into buckets.
“Fuck!” I exclaim.
I walk outside and am met by Detective Barnes and Garrett.
“Guess you were wrong.” I tell Barnes sarcastically in passing.
I uncuff Beck. He stands and massages his wrists, glaring at me with disgust.
“Can't believe you thought I did this. Even after I told you I didn't.”
I remain speechless with my tongue tied in knots. He shakes his head and walks out of the station. The guilt in which I felt before has intensified after the series of events that has just occurred. It was never him. Barnes had been wrong all along.
The coroner is called along with forensics to travel out to the Walker ranch. I remain at the station. I cannot stomach anymore then i've already seen. Instead, I contemplate what i'm going to tell the cocky Detective.
Detective Barnes storms into the station and begins fuming when he sees Beck has been cut loose.
“What the hell?” He exclaims, putting his hands on his sides.
“I had to let him go. It’s obvious it wasn't him.”
“Bullshit. He’s involved in all this somehow.”
“Just admit it. You were wrong. We’re spending all our energy on him instead of finding who actually is behind this.” I tell him as calmly as I can.
This pushes him over the edge. “I've already told you! I'm never wrong. And i've been dying to ask you. How did you know to go out to that ranch?”
I stand and pass him the manilla envelope. He opens it and stares at the picture. He doesn't say anything, but studies it.
“That little girl in the back with the curls is Joe Walker's daughter. As soon as I saw it, I knew something was wrong.”
He slides the picture back in the envelope and studies the writing on the front. “They know your name.”
“That could be any of the five thousand people who live in this town.”
He points to the R in my name. “That's critical right there. The top is detached from itself.”
“What’re we going to do? Line the entire town up and force them to write an R?”
Garrett walks in with a stack of papers and hands them to me. “Here’s those reports.”
Detective Barnes stares at the papers in my hands. “Can I see those?”
I hand them over to him and he sets them down on the table. He skims them and begins flipping through the pages.
“Hmm. That's interesting.” He says in a low tone.
“What?” I peer over his shoulder at the papers.
He points to something on a couple of them. “All of his R’s are detached from themselves.”
The hairs on my body become stiff and my skin turns prickly.
“And look at the O’s.” He continues as he points to them. “They’re half circles.”
“What about Beck?”
“This is our guy. It's no coincidence that it's identical handwriting.”
“Can you get a warrant based off of this?”
He nods his head. “Yeah. There's been cases before that have led to arrests based off of shit like this.”
As I pull onto Garrett's street, I look down at my car's clock. The glowing numbers read 2:35. I park behind Becks car and he walks up to us.
“Sorry about earlier. No hard feelings?” Detective Barnes sticks out his hand in hopes of making a truce.
Beck shoves his hand away. “You accused me of murder and kidnapping. Fuck outta here.”
“This is bigger than about ya’ll two. Let's get this over with.”
I jog up to the front door with the other two following closely behind. I kick open the front door and we rush inside with our guns drawn.
The living room is filthy and there's a stale odor in the air. Pieces of trash litter the floor and table. We begin our hike down the long dark hallway. A child's faint whimpers can be heard coming from around the corner.
As I round the corner, I stop in my tracks. There's an open door with a staircase leading down to the basement. I grope for a light switch, but there is none. The child whimpers again and this time it's louder and more clear.
Detective Barnes shoves me out of the way and turns on his flashlight. He begins his descent down the stairs. I follow on his tail. We reach the bottom and he scans the basement with the light. One of the children's beady eyes passes through the light. He stops and moves towards them.
He shines the light on them. They all cower in the corner bunched up together. “It's okay. We're here to take you home.” Barnes says in a soothing voice.
“Jesus.” Beck says horrified.
A loud thud comes from above us.
“Garrett.” I run towards the stairs and travel up them as fast as I can.
Beck and Barnes stay behind to tend to the kids. I enter the living room and Garrett charges at me with an axe. I open fire, shooting him several times. He drops face flat to the ground.
We walk the kids out front and wait for Lockhart EMS to come and take the kids to their hospital. After they are transported and Garrett's body is taken, I stand with Barnes and Beck with a sense of relief.
“Thank you for your help.” I tell Barnes with sincerity. “I don't think I could've done it on my own.”
“I know. And for the record, I technically wasn't wrong about who it was.” Detective Barnes says with a smirk.
“Yeah you were.” Beck chimes in.
“It was a Sheriff. Therefore, I was partially right which means I wasn't wrong.” Detective Barnes cracks a half ass smile.
I let the Detective stew in his pride and walk to my vehicle. I sigh before starting up the car and driving off. As I turn back and look at the two standing there, Beck locks eyes with me and waves. He grins and winks.
submitted by TormentedTales to nosleep [link] [comments]


2017.06.09 05:43 JDog413 Jojo's OC Tournament #2 Round 2, Match 7: James Burton VS Felix Down

[The Results are in! The Winner is....]()
Category Winner Reasoning
Popularity Sunset Company 5 -1, in Sunset Company's favor!
Jojolity Sunset Company 25 - 19 in Sunset Company's favor! Jojolity denial was the name of the game here.
Quality Diamond Dogs 25 - 19 in the Diamond Dogs' favor!
 
Turk: Hello Pepe. How are things looking where you are?
Pepe: Perfectly fine, why do you ask?
Turk: Well I wanted a little recap on our situation. One of our operatives, Lone, decided to go after The Overload.
Pepe: So? It isn't necessary to reach us.
Turk: It could be a problem if it fell into wrong hands. I count Lone as one of those wrong hands. He's proven himself a liability. I need to know if we can safely get rid of him.
Pepe: Him?
Pepe: Well strictly speaking we don't need anybody. Your assistant is not even aware of our existence, Blin and his cronies can always make more pillars and defenses, but that is just insurance by now. We don't need his money. I think we are only keeping tabs on Line in case he remembers something and becomes a problem then, Lite is useful but ultimately unnecessary.
Pepe: And Lone is the least useful of everyone. The area is already destabilized. We do not need him any more.
Turk: Thank you, Pepe.
Pepe: Strictly speaking, even I'm too much. Your influence is all the organization really needs.
Turk: That's an exaggeration. So then hopefully Lone does not come back. We hardly need another Murray. I've cut him off so far but….
Turk: You understand.
Pepe: Yes, I understand. And do not worry, I will keep a close eye on the situation here. Best wishes!  
Felix Dawn sighed as he reached the small village in the valley. It had been quite an unusual journey to get there. Dr. Feelgood had sent him to China on some intel that an artifact called the Overload could be found in the valley. About as soon as he’d landed in Beijing, Felix was accosted by another Stand user named James Burton, who demanded to know if Felix had seen a California Redwood anywhere, claiming that the tree had crippled Burton’s friend. Somehow.
As it turned out, Burton had also been sent after the Overload based on intel gathered by Huey Lewis and was conducting his own personal investigation on the side. The two shared an interest in archery and decided to work together to find the Overload. Burton seemed like a pretty decent guy to Felix, though it felt odd to always be referred to as “Best Felix” by his partner. Still, it was better than “Other Felix”, which was what Burton had called him at first. As the two trekked toward the Kyrgyzstan border, they heard enough rumors and clues to point them in an increasingly specific direction. They also became a pretty ironclad team, fully prepared to take on whatever enemy Stand users they encountered.
When they finally reached the village, they even knew that the Overload was a knife and which specific house it was supposed to be in. And of course, the ancient shack was empty. Burton was turning the whole place upside down trying to find the knife when a gravelly Texan drawl stopped them.
“Sorry, losers, but y’all’re a little late.”
Felix and Burton spun around to see a large man wearing a UT Varsity Jacket and, for some reason, a cat mask. He was also holding an ancient Chinese dagger: The Overload.
“The name’s Lone, but you can call me… Lone. Anything else and I kill ya. Though I’m probably gonna kill ya anyway.”
“Hey, Tex,” came a second voice, this one more dignified, and with Australian accent. “Earth to Austin Texas. You got the knife or what, mate?”
“This isn’t Texas, dumbass,” Burton said in response to Lone’s unseen partner.
“I know, mate. Austin Texas is just his name,” said the Australian, stepping into view. He was quite a bit shorter than Lone and dressed in a tuxedo modified with numerous pouches, a Civil War rifle slung over his back. “Speaking of, might as well add, I’m Cliff. Cliff Currenti.”
“See, when that asshole Line sent me after this thing, I bet he planned on it being a suicide mission, but I brought company,” Lone continued, clearly agitated that Cliff had given away his real name.
“Can’t say I blame this Line guy,” Cliff muttered. “I’m gonna have to hold so many balls when I get out of this.”
Felix was pretty confused about what these two were talking about, but the situation reminded him of Null’s story about what had happened to him at the Colosseum. He had a feeling this would be a little harder.
“You must be one of those ‘Golds’ that Chance has been raving about ever since the baseball game,” Burton said. “I’mma deck you in the schnoz.”
Lone looked taken aback by that for a moment, then regained his composure. “Do you dumbasses even know what the Overload does?” Lone asked. “When it pierces you, it boosts your Stand threefold in every way. Fuckin’ morons.”
Overhead, rain clouds began to form.
“C’mon, Best Felix. We can still take ‘em. Two on two!” Burton said.
“Not exactly,” came a third voice, this one with a Spanish accent, coming from somewhere outside. “More like, dos en tres. Is a bad fate for you.”
“Figured I wouldn’t take any chances in case someone else got to the Overload first,” Lone said. “Turns out, I didn’t need it. I’m going to have fun killing you two.”
Felix shared a look with Burton, glad to have the other archer’s help. The two summoned their Stands and readied for battle. As Lone drove the Overload into his own forearm, Felix wondered why he kept needing to deal with knife theft.
“Ow! Shit! Ugh, hurts like a bitch. [Lone Digger], you idiots, kill them!”
A little blood trickled out of Lone’s forearm. A pink tube, his Stand, slithered out from the wound and dove underground. Lone shot the duo a menacing glare. Suddenly a massive wall of earth shot out of the ground, reaching towards the heavens. Felix turned around, only to see another wall rumbling up. Everyone, even the others Lone brought, looked shocked at this display of power.
Lone stood up. “My Stand is normally pretty weak. It can only move things like a foot. But you fuckos done screwed yourself. [The Overload gets rid of my weakness.”
He turned to his allies. “Well what am I paying you for? Kill them already!”
 
Remain in Light #3: [The Overload]
Appearance: An ancient dagger of Chinese make.
Power: None (Though it is sharp enough to pierce human skin)
Speed: None
Range: None
Durability: ???
Precision: None
Potential: None
Ability: [The Overload], when stabbed into a Stand user, will triple all of the Stand’s stats, and will boost their ability a ridiculous amount. However, this only works for a minute, and after which, [The Overload] will never work for that person again.
 
Boss 1:
Name: Austin Texas (Lone)
Age: 23
Occupation: Mercenary
Appearance: Lone wears a generic Varsity Jacket open over a white T Shirt and blue jeans. He is relatively small. He wears a cat mask on at all times, so his actual facial features are unknown.
Bio: From the moment he was born, Austin Texas was given every reason to hate the world. His parents were cocaine addicts who thought it would be funny to name their child after the city in which he lived. While they were at it, they alternatively neglected or abused him. So, when he first learned what murder was, he figured he’d try it out on them, but wasn’t really sure how.
Luckily for him, around this time, his Stand [Lone Digger] was awoken. In exploring his newfound powers, Austin killed two birds with one stone, using his Stand to kill his parents. Its ability ripped their hearts right out of their chests. Arguably, this killed three birds with one stone, as it gave the child an inspiration for his new codename to replace the atrocious “Austin Texas”: Lone.
Personality: Lone is a thug. He's a murderer who doesn't care about human life, and is willing to sell anyone else out for his own gain. He's been covering the role of general murderer in the team, and has been pretty happy with being low level in the group.
He doesn't especially mind if his allies die and will probably try and kill them afterwards to save money.
Power: 3
Speed: 5
Intelligence: 3
Constitution: 5
Intimidation: 1 (Lone does not command any fear or respect from anyone.)
Stand Name: [Lone Digger]
Stand Appearance: [Lone Digger] takes the appearance of a glowing neon pink tube, capped at both ends with silver metal. It is about 1m long and 5cm in diameter.
Power: E (It can't attack nor escape if it is caught)
Speed: D (Lone Digger is not fast, especially while tunneling.It's about 5 mph when tunneling and 10 mph when not.
Range: A
Durability: A (It can be caught but is essentially unbreakable.)
Precision: D (Lone can control his Stand, but it is much easier to use the ability on large objects
Potential: E
Ability: First of all, [Lone Digger] has the ability to tunnel through anything the metal caps touch, leaving it unharmed. It cannot do any damage whatsoever, and pulling it out by force with not do harm either.
Second of all, it can move anything that both of the metal caps touch by up to 1 foot. This ability is better on large objects, as they are easier to touch with its low Precision. Objects up to tectonic plates can be manipulated, albeit slowly and only 1 foot at a time. However, smaller objects require planning and careful use of the Stand’s tunneling abilities to touch with both caps.
 
Boss 2:
Name: Miguel Marcado
Appearance: A small man wearing slightly rumpled clothing, with black hair and a somewhat equine face.
Personality: Miguel is a very simple man. He likes money, likes his life much more, and wants both of them. He prefers staying back, as his Stand is not a combat based one at all.
Items: None
Power: 1
Speed: 5
Intelligence: 5
Constitution: 4
Running Away: 5
Stand Name: [Wheel in the Sky]
Stand Appearance: Clouds, which can be anything from stormy black to fluffy white in color and shape.
Power: E (The clouds have no offense whatsoever. All they can do is rain.)
Speed: E (This Stand is very slow.)
Range: A ([Wheel in the Sky] can go up to 50 miles away from its user.)
Durability: A (It’s far in the air, and cannot really be attacked at all.)
Precision: E (This Stand can only really do one thing, and the user cannot control the predictions from it.)
Potential: E
Ability: [Wheel in the Sky] can rain. This can either be an isolated sprinkle or raging monsoon. This rain is real, but will go back to the Stand as it evaporates. There’s a large amount of rain stored, so the user doesn’t need to worry about that. It could feasibly rain constantly on a city for a matter of weeks.
Whenever it rains, the user of [Wheel in the Sky] hears a piece of advice to avoid some misfortune that will happen to them in the future. They can choose to avoid this misfortune, but at the cost of it being "passed" onto someone else. They can only hear one prediction every minute, and only if there is something in the next hour that affects the user negatively.
 
Boss 3
Name: Cliff Currenti
Age: 26
Occupation: Mercenary, Ballroom Dancer
Bio: The youngest of three brothers, all Stand users, Cliff always felt left out. He was a late bloomer and developed his Stand later in life than his brothers, and his Stand was also unlike the others in his family, though probably the strongest of the three. Cliff developed a passion for ballroom dancing, and, through that, discovered a secondary ability of his Stand. When he went off to college, he cut ties with his family in order to start work as a mercenary, using his Stand to make money for various illegal deeds. While he never charged a high price, it was enough to make a living. These days, he spends about as much time organizing fancy dance parties as carrying out jobs, using his hard-earned money and his Stand’s ability to throw the biggest balls around.
Personality: Cliff is someone who believes that someone should do as much good in the world as they do evil, which has led him to throw his charity balls alongside performing his dirty deeds. On a job, he is analytical and quick to understand a situation. He doesn’t especially like hurting people, though he never shies away from a job. He’s also a fan of puns and wordplay, leading him to quickly be able to come up with anything that can be considered a ball.
Physical Description: A small man, Cliff is stronger than he looks. Even on a job, he’s dressed for a ballroom dance, with his various pouches, belts, and packs of gear over it.
Equipment: Springfield Rifle Model 1861 and 20 Minié Balls, a baseball, a rubber bouncy ball, 30 ball bearings, a ball of twine, two steel balls, and a miniaturized bowling ball.
Strength: 3
Speed: 3
Intelligence: 4
Constitution: 2
Throwing Balls (This applies to both actual balls and fancy dancing balls): 4
Stand Name: 「Big Balls」
Appearance: 「Big Balls」takes the appearance of a smooth faceless punchghost clad in fancy attire.
Ability: It has the ability to completely control the size of anything called a ball. With two exceptions, the power functions to increase or decrease the mass and/or volume of a ball within its range, so long as the Stand has touched the ball since the ball entered its range. The Stand does not need to be touching the ball at the time the ball’s size is being affected. 「Big Balls」 can control the rate at which the balls change their size and the user often chooses to do so at a rate where the mass and volume increase or decrease at rates such that density remains constant. The two ways the Stand affects balls that are exceptions to its typical functionality are this: 「Big Balls」 can metaphorically grow the user's "balls", increasing the user's confidence, charisma, and combat skill at the cost of making the user less careful and intelligent. 「Big Balls」 can also increase the "size" of a fancy dance party, essentially affecting the energy and enthusiasm of the participants so long as they are within the ballroom.
Stand Stats:
Power: D
Speed: A
Range: B (About 50m of range total.)
Durability: D
Precision: C
Potential: B
 
Objective: Defeat the enemy. For the purposes of this match, you really only need to defeat Austin and one other person. Once you do that, the other will bolt.
Location: A valley on the border of Kyrgyzstan and China, with the remains of a village in it. There are large walls on both sides, blocking everyone in. Lone is about 3m away from the contestants, and he has about 20 seconds left that The Overload will work. The user of Wheel in the Sky is near some walls about 10m behind the contestants. An extra note about how his abilities work is that the nearest person to him will have the fate he was about to have passed over. Cliff is ahead of the group about 10m in the other direction. The slopes of the surrounding mountains are arid, and excessive rain will cause mudslides. None of the bosses will go especially out of their way for eachother.
 
Team Combatant JoJolity
Players Both "You're really good at sobbing J.Geil. Well, you're about to fall down to hell, sobbing the whole way down. But there's one thing I can't really on the guardians of hell to do for me. And that's... To turn you into a pincushion!": RETIRE another combatant using [The Overload], and do not purposefully stab yourself with it.
Boss Lone "I am a god in all but name! With the powers at my command, I will rule this world!": Let nobody else get their hands on The Overload!
Boss Cliff and Miguel "American style. French style. Japanese style. Italian. Specifically Naples style. The world's fingers for fuck off.": Get Lone RETIRED during the fight! Seriously, screw that guy!
Jojolity points will be awarded for style and feasibility of its execution, independently of the plausibility of winning the fight.
 
Match Number Match Format Match Flavor Match Location Combatant A Combatant B Date
1 1v1 Objective A fancy ball where the guests are getting a little rowdy… DJ Nick Mason May 13
2 1v1 Deathmatch Inside a dark cave, the only source of light being an oil-powered lantern that’s rapidly running out! Presto Gami May 17
4 1v1 Deathmatch Mumbai, India. A certain thing seems to be happening… Sigmund Tremaine Kewlin Ciudad May 25
5 1v1 Deathmatch A lagoon, somewhere deep in the tropics. Nicola Henderson ??? May 29
7 2v1 Objective A hidden valley in between two mountains… James Burton Felix Down June 6
8 1v1 Objective Live on the Jerry Springer show! Prime opportunity to discredit your opponent! Niban Shosha Huey Lewis June 10
10 1v1 Deathmatch Northern Territory, Australia. A tense duel on the edge of a national monument! “Waveshaper” Rick Max June 18
11 1v1 Deathmatch A frozen lake, a straight shot at your opponent! Felix Arrowsmith Cole Pineburg June 22
13 1v1 Objective A museum break-in. Shouldn’t be too hard, right? Christina “Chris” Carlisle James Chance June 30
14 2v1 Deathmatch A warehouse… inside of another warehouse?! David L. Palmer Famoso Pietraduro July 4
16 1v1 Deathmatch An airliner, crashed in the middle of the red sea! Junky Luck Dr. Alice Slash July 12
17 1v1 Objective Caught in the middle of a large-scale, armed bank robbery! Duvelleroy Steve Genoard July 16
19 1v1 Objective Suddenly trapped inside of a dark cave! Find a way out before it’s too late! Vivi Bianchi Stefan C. Megiddo July 24
20 1v1 Deathmatch Louisiana. Swamp country. Although the decoration is quite odd around here… Steppenwolf Leonard Davis July 28
 
Match Number Match Format Match Flavor Match Location Team A (1) Team A (2) Team B (1) Team B (2) Date
3 2v2 Deathmatch Open plains in the middle of Saskatchewan, hell raining down from all sides! Bill Dolby Rooftop Singer Jack Mercury Savage Garden May 21
6 2v2 Objective A bowling alley where the balls are a little too big… Adriano Donati Jitterbug Moseph Sabat Farewell Angelina June 2
9 2v2 Objective A massive, sprawling labyrinth, in the dead of night! Spandau Ballet Airis Ani Donatello Blackwell Don Under June 14
12 2v2 Deathmatch An egyptian dig site, the palms of massive statues the only thing sticking out. Pascal Chaleur Elio Valez Floyd Feelgood Nicholas Al-Bach June 26
15 2v2 Objective A large ship, filled to the brim with guards! Natsuru Springfield Harvey Harold Hillhouse Gray Jay Michael Sembello July 8
18 2v2 Deathmatch Granbury, Texas. The annual Field of Flags event. Cassandra Corazon Kate Smith Elliot J. Diamond Boy July 20
 
Reddit Name User Name Stand Name Team Status
u/Zanegaru Junky Luck Robot Parade Sunset Company Active
u/pm_ur_veggie_garden Diamond Boy Dirty Dancer Sunset Company Active
u/Mightymindsoup Elliot J Love Bites Sunset Company Active
u/johntindlemen Adriano Donati Clearest Blue Sunset Company Active
u/boredCommentator Duvelleroy Great King Rat Sunset Company Active…?
u/jem_rye Albrecht Durer Just Push Play Sunset Company RETIRED
u/Shark_Steel Duke Rhayader What is Love Sunset Company RETIRED
u/Strange_Bean Dana Davis Stay Sunset Company RETIRED
u/Gallerian Jitterbug Amun-Ra Sunset Company Active
u/phinsa123 Jack Mercury Mötley Crüe Temperance Machine Active (2 KOs)
u/Unknowni123 Stefania Sandu Rich Girl Temperance Machine RETIRED
u/YoloSwagginsV12 Nicola Henderson Exmilitary Temperance Machine Active
u/Otha_Joestar Savage Garden Jungle Love! Temperance Machine Active (2 KOs)
u/Bentonic64 James Creech Northern Hues Temperance Machine RETIRED
u/Nivrap Dionne Stained Glass Heart Temperance Machine RETIRED
u/Quickdrawnmoron Dr. Alice Slash Mississippi Queen Temperance Machine Active (1 KO)
u/bauccgia0 Rip Van Winkle Self Called Nowhere Temperance Machine RETIRED
u/KiwiArms David "2D" Delasoul Feel Good Ink Right Now, Forever RETIRED
u/SweaterSnake Spandau Ballet Paint Box Right Now, Forever Active
u/Toedpens Seth Turmur Heart of the Sunrise Right Now, Forever RETIRED
u/Dead_Star_World Cassandra Johnson Getaway Right Now, Forever RETIRED
u/farispie Nermin Reeds Spooky Skeleton Right Now, Forever RETIRED
u/PerPapple Christina “Chris” Carlisle Shadow on the Wall Right Now, Forever Active
u/Skelly-Tan Marco Forneira Man Eater Right Now, Forever RETIRED
u/WoobidyWoo Stefan C. Megiddo Switch - 625 Right Now, Forever Active
u/Leafsw0rd Rooftop Singer Wintergatan (Cannot Decide on a Name) RETIRED
u/TheMysteriousDoc Sigmund “Ziggy” Tremaine Demon Days (Cannot Decide on a Name) Active (3 KOs)
u/HeavenAscensionTaric Erick "Rick Max" Maximilian Withered Delilah (Cannot Decide on a Name) Active
u/NowWithPulp James Chance Electric Avenue (Cannot Decide on a Name) Active (2 KOs)
u/Slaycube James Burton Of Wolf and Man (Cannot Decide on a Name) Active (2 KOs)
u/Addem_Up Huey Lewis Change of Heart (Cannot Decide on a Name) Active (2 KOs)
u/Sh0tgunLlama Felix “Fat Rat” Arrowsmith Set in Stone (Cannot Decide on a Name) Active
u/ChocolateDiscloud Bill Dolby It’s Raining Men (Cannot Decide on a Name) RETIRED
u/CPU_Dragon DJ Rasputin (Cannot Decide on a Name) Active (1 KO)
u/rederister Michael Sembello Automatic Man Diamond Dogs Active
u/Repider Jason “Gray Jay” Jukes Hush Diamond Dogs Active
u/Calumba Dr. Francesca Marvel Ting Tings Diamond Dogs RETIRED
u/anxientdesu Airis Ani Musical Star Diamond Dogs Active…?
u/JinxTheFrosslass Farewell Angelina Chains of Love Diamond Dogs Active
u/yelualstar Kenneth “Ken” Masters Leather Rebel Diamond Dogs RETIRED
u/Ongsay Moseph Sabat Digital Lover Diamond Dogs Active
u/SilverJakler Leonard Davis Ace of Spades Diamond Dogs Active
u/KantuK Kewlin Cuidad Smooth Criminal Loca's Motions RETIRED
u/VforVanarchy Presto Fly By Night Loca's Motions Active (3 KOs)
u/spyguy318 Dr. Nick Mason Dark Side of the Moon Loca's Motions RETIRED
u/Ronandstone Cole Pineburg Slim Shady Loca's Motions Active (2 KOs)
u/Drebin996 Kate Smith Cibo Matto Loca's Motions Active
u/Tesla__Coil Cassandra Corazon Through the Fire and Flames Loca's Motions Active (2 KOs)
u/ArtisanBubblegum Steve Genoard Dance Comander Loca's Motions Active (2 KOs)
u/SP-Q-R Viviana “Vivi” Bianchi Noisy Pink Bubbles Loca's Motions Active
u/yelualstar Steppen Born to be Wild Loca’s Motions Active
u/Ismat_Urbur Pascal “Paz” Chaleur Canned Heat White Stripes Active
u/SmashPachi Evan Lain Count on Me White Stripes RETIRED
u/StonedVolus David L. Palmer Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger White Stripes Active
u/Screedledude Harvey Harold Hillhouse Flatlands White Stripes Active
u/kljg Kenny Nixon Grease Lightning White Stripes RETIRED
u/JMBChaos Niban Shosha Ocean Man White Stripes Active
u/tryburningundam Elio Valez Danger! High Voltage White Stripes Active
u/NatsuruSpringfield Natsuru Springfield Evil Woman White Stripes Active
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2014.05.16 19:34 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: IAm someone who got busted with 48 lbs when I was 18. AMA

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Date: 2014-05-16
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Questions Answers
What did the butcher do when he caught you making off with 48lbs of his prime steak? Did he press charges? Oops. It was weed. Should've proofread that.
Was this your first time trafficking? Were you going to distribute it? If not how much were you paid to move that much? My job was to get to point A to B then repeat. Was trying to get a plane up and running. Needed one run in a car to do it. I already had my pilot license
I guess that pilot licence are out Of reach now? I have it. Still do. I can get recertified. But I'll put money that the FAA will be waiting wherever I land to check. Which is fine by me. I do wanna own a plane and fly again. It was such a blast. After I got busted and got out we found someone with a plane and we needed to make more cash to buy lawyers. So we did actually do a cross country trip. And well that was the most exhilarating thing to do!!! I Definately recommend to do it recreationally. Planes really aren't that expensive and it's just great to one day wake up and say "hey I wanna go eat lunch in Austin" and just go.
Flying has always kind of been a dream of mine, not one I want to pursue professionally but more in a "go fly once every few months" type thing. Any chance you could give me a ballpark cost for licensure and a plane or plane rental? Man if I were you. Get some books about you FAA flight test. Study it. The books don't cost much. Then hang out at your nearest small airfield. Get to know the people. You'd be surprised to see how many people will let you fly along. Get your feet wet.
When I was in school it was 72 an hour for instructor and 172 an hour for the plane. And the test is all based on how well you are with it. So get familiar with it and if you have money. Honestly buy yourself a plane. And just rent the instructor. That way the plane you fly for test is YOUR plane. And besides don't you wanna know that the instructor feels safe with you flying the exact same plane you will be flying?
I have problems with my eyes. Do you know IF that would stop me? I have always dreamed about taking a licence for it. Yea I'm almost positive that you need 20/20 but I could be wrong. It might just be for commercial.
Honestly buy yourself a plane. Just buy a plane? And how does one afford that if they're not, pardon the expression, a drug runner? You can find planes that are seriously as cheap as a car. It's really not as bad. A nice Cessna 152 can be roughly 30k. Of course newer models can run up to 100k but still hire a qualified FAA mechanic and the engine will run good.
How much time did you do? Actually only in there for roughly two months. Kept droppin bond down and got out. Ended up 3 yrs probation back home. Did 1.5 and got off on good conduct.
That is ridiculously fortunate... No kidding. But I felt like two years.
Federal Probation Officer here. Glad to hear you got off early. 3 years really isn't that terrible in relation to trafficking. Coulda been worse. Best of luck to you on moving forward! Thank you. Actually I have family that will be dealing with federal case. Isn't it a lot more relaxed then state charges?
Still more than you should've had to do, but yeah, glad you're not still locked up. I assume you're white? Yes.
I could understand dropping him, but turning him out? Maybe it's just me but pimping out a grown man cause he used a phrase you didn't like seems pretty harsh. I guess what I'm trying to say is he didn't seem professional at all to me.
I think you missed the joke... you meant tuning, but said 'turning', which is akin to forcing him into prostitution in slang. I.e. "I turnt that bitch out!" I don't retract my statement. You know how much people pay for candied nuts these days?!?!
Would it have payed well? 50k. For that one run. Would've split half with my codriver.
What would you have done with the other half? Got my sister braces. Paid off my car and saved up for college. It's kinda why I justified me doing it. I did smoke but I really wanted to be successful. Education with pilot license and going to college with drug money would've been fine if one day I was making over 100k a year legally.
Why a codriver? Seems like a doubling of risk. The idea was to have that car running nonstop. You can make it across the country in roughly 48 hrs. It's like playing hot potato in the sense that you want it and give it away as quickly as possible. If one drives. Then you'll have to stop. Waste 12 hrs gettin a room. Sleeping. All that stuff.
Plus paper trail. Amen.
So did you smoke 2lbs during your drive before you got caught? It was 43 lbs but they count packaging. So it was 48. And no I didn't smoke any of it. Was waiting for that when I got to my destination :(
What if you put some helium filled baloons in the package? Dude... Fuck why didn't I think of that.
How did you get that much weed? And how did your get caught? The article kinda explains how. And the police highway patrol ( K-9 unit btw) said I was following too close behind a semi.
The article actually doesn't explain much... do tell us the story. I just graduated. Class of 09. Was gonna start out at community college when I got a phone call from my half sisters husband. I've never met my half sister. But we were Facebook friends. He said he had a job offer. Flew me out of Texas and there I was in Times Square. I've never left houston so being out there was just crazy. I find out that through my Facebook and MySpace posts and pics he sees I'm a weed enthusiast. Asks me to join him to smuggle. He's been doing it for 2 years. He was putting me through pilot training so we could be up in the air. I felt it was good cuz I was getting an education while making a lot of money. My family has always been lower class so I just wanted to be comfortable. We need one run in a car to get up in the air when I got stopped at around 7 in the morning in laramie county. It was the most weirdest feeling ever seeing the lights go on. It was my first run. And I celebrated my 19th birthday in jail. Still had to drive more once I got out in order to pay a 15k lawyer fee. But did and once I got that done I went back to Texas and been still grinding tryna make it. Just not illegally.
Do you have any relationship with your half sister now? No. I have a certain set of codes that I live by. And well when I retired from that life and they decided to keep going. the situation they put themselves in landed her to break a code I live by. I can't really explain it because of certain things still going in but I'm sure you could prolly get the context clues.I haven't spoken to her in over a year or two.
You realize its very dumb to be saying shit like this online when you've provided identifying information and that the gov't could easily fuck u over for shit like this, esp if youre still on probation, right? Been off for over a year.
001192930x3846758. 9897766776x8ooo? More like up up down down left right left right b a start.
Did you get paid for each run, or by how much you were willing to transport? By how much. Eventually with a plane we would've been at a couple hundred pounds a trip.
What did you end up being charged with after getting a lawyer etc? Conspiracy to deliver, distribute, and manufacture marijuana.
"manufacture" I'm chillin with my homie in San Marcus. Excuse the misspelling
Never drive a nice car if you can't get the speed to escape with it. It was a Mercedes c300. But in Wyoming. I had no clue where to run . You could see any car in a 5 mile radius lol.
Hey, I have a couple more questions. Did you get federally charged or was it through the state? Also, did they try and get you to rat out other people involved? State and yes they tried. I refused. In fact the public defender have me a worse deal then I ended up with if I ratted. They were saying if I don't snitch I'm lookin at 15 years. Unless I do then it's be 5 years probation. Said fuck it to both those options and ended up with 3 yrs probation.
Did you ever think about taking it to trail and hope for jury nullification? At the time the whole thing took 1.5 years I was jut ready to get it over with. And I didn't have any money to keep fighting it. Though I did hear that the other party paid for an appeal but the appeal lost too.
The article is from 2010. It's now 2014. Did you get any time? Any other form of punishment? answered in another post Mostly probation which was very lax. I only piss tested once until the PO kinda realized I'm not using. It was 3 yrs they gave me but since I was an out of state case they have me 1.5 good conduct and let me go.
How has this event affected you life? Well it humbled me to be honest. At 18 I thought I was bulletproof and cocky. Now I think twice a lot and chilled out. Got married and really wanna focus on that and gettin kids one day to raise em up to be successful without trying shortcuts like me.
But also to add. At the time of me getting busted as soon as I got out and came home for visits people around town thought I was like a mob king. I'm from a small town outside of houston and word travels fast. My friends are all bad influences so I definitely had "street cred" it was kinda humorous how people talked to me before and after everything
Sounds like it changed you for the better. For sure. I would really be a pompous prick if I got away with cash.
Are you still dealing? No im a construction worker for the Ibew now.
Naw but I do bartend part time. Which I kinda like a liquor dealer.
Do you still smoke? I do every now and then. My job randoms roughly every three months. I usually don't chance it. But I've smoked about once a year since the bust.
What's your stance on legalization? Given the fact that if it was legal you would have never gotten caught (or been able to make money the same way). What do you think you would have been doing instead? Well I knew the black market for weed was crumbling. And I knew I didn't have a lot of time to be in it. I thought maybe if I got familiar with it I could be someone leading the way in Colorado or Cali. I'm all for legalization. It cripples the cartel. You'd much rather deal with me than those guys. And it's a nice taxable income for our govt. one thing I think is funny is I got busted in I-80 right by Cheyenne. If I was merely an hour south is be in Colorado. I would've loved to see how they handled it all. Cuz even though it wasn't legal back then. The stance they had on it was still there.
Was this gonna be your career or just a space filler before college?? Simply tryna make enough to pay for college. Maybe nice car. Give my sister braces. But with anything like that you start getting that whole "well one more run will get me this. " and so on. Then you get busted and start thinking " well now I have to bounce back" it's really a downward spiral.
Your car must have stunk something fierce. Did you put it in a false compartment or anything at least? It was a rental so we couldn't just break the car down. And idk how you could fit that much in door panels, etc. it was all in trunk. We have each pound double bagged in food saver bags and then all of it filled 3 hefty kitchen trash bags. Also. The smell wasn't noticeable at all. Once a seal or bag breaks then it's everywhere. But really you'd never know if you didn't have a k-9 with you.
How did your parents react? Actually I sent my dad a text as we were waiting for the K-9 unit to start sniffing. Told him I'm going to jail and I love him. He sent one back saying " don't drop the soap" He later said he thought I was joking. I didn't get that memo when I went in so that was really hard on me.
Did you parents know that you were doing this run or did you just tell them you were with a friend or make some random excuse? They knew. I really don't know why they didn't say anythibg.
What's your very best life advice ? Man I'm only 23. I'm not at all wise to be giving life advice lol I'm still trying to figure that out myself.
Did you think you would become the Canabis Kid? (SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER)Wow I never seen that!!! Ya but I kinda see myself as Jesse from breaking bad. The relationship I had with my coworker was completely like that and I related to Jesse so much with the constant struggle with his moral compass. That show really kinda hit home for me so when the finale hit and saw Jesse driving away free I straight up cries no homo.
Wooo there. Spoiler. Sorry :(
Any way you could edit that and throw a spoiler tag in? Not everyone has seen it and that's a huge one. Sorry. I would hate to ruin such a great show like that for aomeone.
If you didn't get caught when would you have stopped? I can't say. In my mind I thought there would be a nice number but being young and in that lifestyle it's really bad to stop. Money's fast money goes fast and then you need more. Or ya you bought a nice car but now you need a house. Knowing what I know now I prolly would've been ok with one to two trips and deucing. But greed and power does consume oneself.
Got any proof you're one of the people named in the article? I'm on alien blue. And at work. So idk how I could send a pic for verification. I've never done an AMA and someone from another post said I should.
What was going through your head when you were getting pulled over? What did the cops say they pulled you over for? Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuckOh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuckOh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuckOh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuckOh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuckOh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuckOh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuckOh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
Yep sounds about like what I would be thinking too. Thanks for doing the AMA man, glad to hear you're out and doing well. Thanks for all the questions man enjoyed answering them all.
Are you a monty python fan? Some I've only actually seen bits and clips. Been meaning to watch em though.
Did that event impact your life in the present and what is your plan for the future? I'm in the electrical union. Wanna turn out as a journeyman then go to college for electrical engineering. I feel the trade will help with my resume and at that time I'll probably be around 30 so the crime I committed at 18 could Definitely be negligible.
How much space did 48 pounds take up? The entire trunk. 3 hefty stretch n flex bags.
Did you have the weed paid for before you got caught? Actually half was on front. That was my codrivers business. I just drove. They ended up callin me with threats after he couldn't pay it back. So THAT was fun.
Did you end up paying or are you just in hiding? I'm not hiding. I think I'm really of no value to who he still owes. And they kinda understand that. Me being young at the time.
If you had a pilots license at that age, does that mean you're from a monied background? what kind of legal representation did you have? My coworker paid for it all. My family has been broke our whole lives and my coworker or Heisenberg to it all decided it would be a nice investment to get me trained. It cost roughly 12,000 to get it certified. No way if pay for it
then? Plz respond lol.
Respect, man. What would your advice be to someone breaking into the game? Not trafficking, but dealing in general. It's really not worth it man. I did do some retail when I was in high school. Just dealt to friends. Was about a pound a week. But it's the same all around. Less is more when it comes to people. And never fuck with fronts. And guess what. You're gonna make sooo many friends dude. Like evvveryone is gonna love you. Then the second you stop dealing it's just you and your x box lol.
Also... Doritos on a pizza, or pizza or a Dorito? And I think Taco Bell needs to make a new Doritos locos pizza taco. How bout that one?
Got a high school degree, dropped out of college due to some medical complications. Don't have the money or ability to go back right now. I know it's not for everyone but finding a local union to join saved my life. I was working 3 min wage jobs at a time before I found the Ibew. Took me awhile to get in cuz I had to take a test then an interview. But once I'm in I really don't have to worry bout work. If work slows down for one contractor and I get laid off I go str8 to another contractor in the union.
Union would be great, since my dad works with the international... except I use marijuana medicinally to control a lot of my mental issues and they won't hire me on that basis. I'm fucked. There's always fake weed bruh... I'm jk. Tried it a couple times. Fuck THAT.
Ehhh I'm looking into synth cannabinoids a bit for experimentation, but they're not worth the pain in the ass. Constantly outlawed, hard to source, potentially dangerous... I'll stick to the plant! Gotta be real or no deal.
Do you think that if you had taken breaks to sleep, you wouldn't have followed the 18 wheeler too closely and wouldn't have gotten caught? Quite honestly. I think it was a setup. I know I wasn't too close. The film on his dash doesn't show it. He was a K-9 unit so he was out to find guys like me. When the dog sniffed the guy forced the dog around repeatedly 4 times before turning his back to the camera. Paused, and then the dog sat down to "signal". Now do I think it was a scam? Definitely. I think that is done way too often these days. Dogs shouldn't be used as a tool cuz there is flaws in them. But it's over with and done. Cali plates with a rental headed east bound is just too suspicious. We were taking nap breaks switching on and off tho.
Why do you guys still use that interstate? Why not go a indirect way? It's faster.
What was your sentence? 3yrs probation. The whole court thing drug out for a year and a halve so even though I got off halfway thru my sentence it still took me 3 yrs to get it all done. Been done for a year next month and loving the freedom.
Do you feel like you won the lottery for not getting consecutive life sentences or something? How is 2 months in jail even the minimum sentence for getting caught running 48lbs of weed? I posted bail.
Hey man, I live in Texas. You wanna smoke a bowl? I'm good bro. Preciate the offer tho.
Are you siblings with Jon Fitch? I wouldn't have done that if I was
Who was the best monster godzilla has ever fought? Finally now we got some good questions!!!Gotta go with King Kong. That shit was dope( pun intended) lol.
Are you still involve in that shit ? Naw.
I might make it through :) Go for it!!
I came here to say the same thing haha. I don't recognize OP, but I'd hang with him. Come out to la tapatia on Friday nights. I bartend there.
After this ordeal, has it been difficult trying to get a job or going to school like you originally intended. Yes I went through a very tough time afterwards. I could wait tables and find nice part times. But I needed something to move outta my pops place with. I was dating my wife at the time and she was really there. I felt like a bum when she had to pay for our entire day out for her birthday. She stuck with me. And I have a lot to thank her for that. My buddy is in the Ibew. I applied and they gave me a test and everything. Next thing I know I'm having an interview. They said I scored one of the highest on the test and saw I was 59 out of 600 kids in high school. Then they looked down at the end of the sheet and asked" so tell me about your brother in law" and the rest of the interview was basically this entire AMA thread. But they saw that I wasn't about that anymore and hired me. I been here for over two years Boutta pass onto a 3rd year apprentice. Comes with like a $2.70 raise and one step closer to being a journeyman and greatful every minute of it.
That was me. Thanks for this and that guy burning his desk is a dumbshit! Hey man thank you for suggesting that. Was really cool doing this.preciate it.
Kush. 34 lbs of sour diesel and 9 lbs of silver afghani to be exact. Ohhh man did it look delicious.
Someone's probably asked this but, what's 48 pounds of dope cost. Buy for 2800 sell for 4-5 so it's around 120k selling for 170-190k.
Whats your fines...recently wrapped up my case...caught.2 felony sales of narcotics charges (ratting bitches with there cameras) and looking ay about 30k not including bond cost legal fees etc.. Just curious. Had 3. Possession. Intent, and conspiracy
No one should ever be busted for marijuana. On behalf of the idiots running this country: I'm sorry. Yea I do feel it's fucked up how bad it is for some people. Idk how I got off that easy. The main problem in Wyoming is meth so to them I was nobody significant. But with weed I Feel there shouldn't be harsh punishment.
I just bought weed with my debit card. mmm, Colorado. I'm so jelly.
To someone who is in this bussisness right now, do you have any tips or anything he/she should avoid doing? Get out if you can. Cuz you're gonna get busted. But if you don't. Keep to yourself. Don't make any new links in your chain. You run what you run smoothly and don't get greedy. Never fuck with fronts. Either buying or selling. And make a damn good alibi. Don't use rental cars. Pack your car with all sorts of stuff in the backseat that support your story of where you're going, droppin Christmas oresents off, going to schlitterbahn. Etc.
You sound like a fucking idiot. Wanted to pay for college? I wipe my ass with your poor perspective. Ok. Make sure to do a second wipe or else you'll get the itchies
Do you regret your crime because you got caught or because you feel bad for the victims? I don't regret gettin caught. I Feel I needed that to make me the guy I am today. I'm proud of myself. In life you take risks. I won't stop taking risks. Just ALOT more educated risks. I regret dealing with a felony. For two years after that it was the hardest to find a job. But I'm in the union now. I make roughly 50k now and when I become a journeyman I'll be at 70-75.
You realize you just outed your sister and her husband right? Because of this AMA, the police will arrest them. Great job dumbdumb. Kind if hard when they are already arrested.
That other person who told you to do an AMA? They were wrong. This is dumb and uninteresting. Sorry. Well your entitled to your opinion. You could've easily just clicked back and proceeded browsing. But you voiced your opinion. And that's ok. I've enjoyed the people that did ask questions. I apologize I didn't kill anybody or have a crazy movie style car chase to intrigue your interest :(
I happen to find this very interesting. So thanks for taking the time to do it! I can't think of a good question that hasn't been answered so I will ask did you find a way to pay for your sisters braces? My parents were separated since I was a freshmen in highschool. She got a different job that offered insurance on it. So she did get them done. My dad has really bad teeth to the point I wanted to get them all pulled out and out dentures in. I really just wanted to see a family portrait of everyone smiling. I've never had that. And even now my sister is smiling though she's with a toxic bf that hits her and deals pills. I've tried to give the guy a chance but it's always backfired so I cut her off. It's hard I hope one day though I'll still get a picture of all of us with pearly whites.
Last updated: 2014-05-20 17:04 UTC
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2014.05.10 00:35 tabledresser [Table] IamA pizza delivery driver at the busiest Papa John's in Chicago, AMA!

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Date: 2014-05-09
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Questions Answers
1.Best Tip 2.Best Bong Tip 3.Anyone Famous? 4.Most Made One Day 5.Car Story 6.Weather Story 7.Sex Story 8.Something Doesn't fell Right Story 9.Robbed or Violence?? Best tip was $40 overall but most memorable was a drunk girl who thought she was handing me three singles and actually handed me a 20 and 2 singles.
Best bong tip was this killer hybrid of Blue Dream and Golden Goat some guy had. We ripped it for a couple minutes and made small talk before I realized I would probably be too high to drive.
Nobody famous yet, but one of the guys at my store has delivered to John Cusack.
Most I made in one day was a Saturday night with shit weather and only 2 drivers... $266 just in tips in 8.5 hours of driving.
Car story? Well, both my mirrors are gone, there are bullet holes in the front of my hood, all doors are dented in except the driver's side, and I have lots of fun knocking noises and fluid leaks. I haven't actually ever been in an accident with it, but only an idiot buys a nice car to deliver in. I also mostly deliver by bike now.
Winter in Chicago was the worst ever. I completely ate shit on the ice with some dude's pizza in hand and he saw me eat shit right in front of his quaint little townhouse. Did he freak out and see if I was ok? No. He called the store and bitched that I had bounced his toppings around.
Boy do I wish this job was like it's portrayed in porn. Unfortunately the only nudity I get to see is penis and lots of it. Most of it intentionally on their behalf. Lots of exhibitionists use us as their victims. I think my favorite was the guy who masturbated at me when he opened his door and I just stared at him awkwardly for a good 90 seconds before he slammed the door shut.
Every time I go to the projects lol.
When I worked at Pizza Hut a while back, I got attacked by a drunk redneck with a car battery. Since he assumed that was an acceptable weapon, I used the dismantled IKEA bookcase in my backseat as my response.
I completely ate shit on the ice with some dude's pizza in hand and he saw me eat shit right in front of his quaint little townhouse. Did he freak out and see if I was ok? No. He called the store and bitched that I had bounced his toppings around. As a former driver, I 100% believe this. Those feels...
So did the masturbator pay for his pizza? I assume that gets a note in the Papa John's delivery database for future deliveries. Ha! No, he did not. He was blacklisted from our system and the manager that night filed a police report to have him arrested. He may not have paid for it but for the amount of time we just stood there staring so awkwardly at each other, it was worth it.
there are bullet holes in the front of my hood. Please, tell me more. There was a drive-by shooting in the alley behind the restaurant I live next to a couple years back and my poor Oxana was in the line of fire!
ITT/tl;dr: some pizza guy does drugs and everyone gives him upvotes. he's probably just appealing to the shallow hivemind of reddit to become popular. well its not working against me engages downvote Nice. Well, pizza delivery does attract a lot of deadbeats and junkies, but I am not. Started in college and it has stuck with me into my teaching years, seeing as that's not always enough excitement or money to keep my Internet fast and fridge full.
Worth it for who? Worth it for me to see this exhibitionist pervert finally get scared as the 6 foot tall pizza guy looked down at him.
Scared...or aroused? I couldn't tell, his package was too small.
When you want pizza, do you get Papa John's or some other kind? Do you get a discount for working there? We get half off everything as an employee discount, but Papa John's is fucking disgusting to me now. That and I'm on a diet. And, well, as any Chicagoan knows, it's no excuse for real pizza. When I want pizza now I either make my own deep dish or order from a local joint down here in Bridgeport. I shouldn't lie though, Domino's is my guilty pleasure when I'm high as shit.
Funny enough, we often order pizza to Papa John's and vice versa. Customers in the store always get a kick out of seeing some Lou Malnati's driver show up in our lobby looking confused as all hell.
Why is a stoned pizza delivery guy awake at 6:30??? Well, I did go to bed eventually! Truth is, I'm not stoned, just working on other stuff. Pizza delivery isn't my only job, thank god. Not to mention I get off work at 2 AM on most nights and don't get home til around 3 AM or later.
Tonight and Saturday night are different, however. I smoke John Lennon amounts of marijuana on the weekends.
Do you actually remember the addresses that don't tip? If you do, is there anything you do differently because you know? I dunno, like... place a pube under a slice of pepperoni? Yes, and I keep a little black book of all of them. If you don't tip once, consider yourself warned. If you become a repeat offender, you get jotted down in my book. Name, address, phone number, perceived personality traits, everything. Believe it or not, as bad as this sounds, I keep track of my customers' drug usage so if they don't tip I can call in the boys in blue. I have once in my career had an entire party of high schoolers arrested for underage drinking because they wasted almost an hour of my time and didn't tip.
Basically, don't fuck with the pizza guy. We won't fuck with your food, don't worry, that's illegal and just wrong. But we are creative and won't stop at anything to either scare the stiffers straight or make their experience a living hell. And we share these lists between different chains, so you're really not safe anywhere anymore once you don't tip a few times. Just a heads up.
Wow they dont give you a 2 dollar tip and you potentially ruin somebodies life. Hope you feel good about yourself there. Not after one time, no. But repeat offenders? Absolutely. We depend on this money to pay our bills. It's not like every pizza guy goes out boozing every weekend like most of the customers we serve. I scrape by with a constant bank account under $50. So yeah, every $2 counts, man. If you are constantly costing me money to deliver your food, you're gonna get messed with.
Now, we would never mess with someone's actual food. It's illegal. And I trust other people not to do that to me. But if I didn't tip my waiters and drivers I would expect to be disrespected, as not tipping is.
Friend in college worked PJ's in Detroit. So you know the shitty nasty weather in winter she had to deal with. She'd pull up between deliveries by the door to grab more pie, and leave the car running. One day between her 60 seconds inside, someone stole her car. (wrecked it later). Do you ever do this, as far as leaving your running car for a bit in the winter? Here's what I was told from day one and I tell rookies these days: under no circumstances do you EVER leave your car running, no matter what the weather. Now, leaving it unlocked vs. locked is your call but especially in a big city like Detroit or Chicago, it's a big no-no. Not to mention most big chains will not cover your ass if your car is stolen when you left it running. Even though our store is in an affluent area, we've had drivers' cars get broken into and bikes stolen in under 30 seconds right in front of the store.
Thanks for the reply!! We did all kind of laugh at her for doing it. I think she's now the district manager somewhere for PJ, but never made that same mistake again. Hate to show my age, but that was 10+ years ago. Hopefully she changed the training. Also, thanks for the great pizzas! No prob! It happens to the best of 'em, unfortunately. She should at least be glad it was just her car and not her, too!
I know this is late but I'm curious. In my 15 years delivery driving for various types of food, I never once delivered to a person at a hotel with clothes on. Does that happen frequently to you? Yes! The most recent was the masturbator mentioned above, but I have had the same experience. Hotels just do not fare well for delivery drivers usually. I've been attacked with a car battery in the parking lot of one and seen more penis than Lisa Lampanelli at hotels.
Thanks again. One final question before work... Most places now have a delivery fee. Do you as a driver get that, or some? Or are we still expected to tip? This has been one of my pet peeves for some time. Thank god PJs finally put something on their boxes and receipts saying that no, the drivers do not see that delivery charge. Yes, tipping is still expected, and this whole delivery charge thing is a real robbery from the drivers because it convinces people that tipping is unnecessary.
I know this isn't all pizza delivery places, but hoping you know what goes on in general now. The real scam is that large chains pay us rarely more than $5-$6 an hour, and assuming we take 3 deliveries an hour, that means that not only is PJs using that $2.75 delivery fee to upcharge the customer, but they're using it to pay our wages and profit on us being there. 'Merica.
Unfortunately that charge is why is topped getting delivery from PJs. I'll jsut go pick it up myself. I knew that wasn't tip and I have a hard time paying $5 for delivery on an $11 pizza. I agree. The delivery charge is just a way for chains to never have to pay their driver staff and let the customers do it instead. I wish more people on the outside stood up to it like you.
Have you ever been invited to a spur-of-the-moment sexual liason? No, but I do have a story that's close.
Some drunk assholes at a bachelorette party right on the lake decided to order pizza at the same time they had ordered a pizza delivery-themed stripper. When I knocked on the door, I was pulled into a dark room full of screaming women and thought that either I was a dead man or I had finally spontaneously combusted and received my 72 virgins. Turns out they thought I was the stripper and we all had a good laugh. I kind of wish I was after they turned all the lights on; there was a room full of 40 or so drunk 20-somethings ready for action. That was a tip enough :D.
My friend is pizza delivery guy at aurellios and he recently delivered it to some of the members of the Chicago Bulls. Have you ever delivered to someone famous? I wish, but I'm not sure there are too many famous folks in our delivery zone. One of our drivers has delivered to John Cusack, but that's pretty much the extent of our fame!
What's the weirdest thing you have come across while delivering pizza? I used to deliver in a heavily Chinese area and once, when looking for a customer who wouldn't answer their door or phone, witnessed a pig being chloroformed and sliced open illegally in their backyard. I can only hope that pig didn't become the 'orange chicken' I had for dinner.
At my current store there was this crackhead guy one time that ran out of the gangway next to us holding a bent-up bike tire in the air and screaming "The pigeons stole my fucking toothpaste! I can't wash me shins!" Homeless people are quite entertaining in Chicago.
Could care less about the Chinese pig thing, but that homeless person's gibberish is classic. Wow. I'd have wanted to actually help him/her get some toothpaste, because everyone deserves to be able to wash their shins. Yeah the first one just really weirded me out. I don't do well with blood :P. With that homeless guy, I wasn't sure whether I should run away or actually give him change or a sandwich for his creativity.
Do you deliver to dark, eerie looking homes in deep south Texas? I did this kind of work as a teen - you are so right about it teaching you about humanity. I used to deliver to ghettos and get tips but in the posher neighborhoods - forget it lol. Lol no, not thus far. I totally agree, though. Rich people are the worst tippers and ghetto deliveries either don't tip or rob you!
Do you work at the one off of Lincoln?!?! Cause if so, I MIGHT HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE BEFORE! If not, sorry for shouting. Well there are a couple off of Lincoln. If you're thinking the one off Irving Park, close but no cigar ;). I work at the one off Diversey.
I'm gonna guess a street called diversity is in a shitty area... Lol I get asked this a lot actually. The street is Diversey Ave, not Diversity. It's named after some 19th century beer brewer, much like Lill Avenue to the south.
Do you guys get part of the delivery charge of should I still tip you? We don't see it, bottom line. PJs gives us $0.75 per run, but the government even says it takes about $0.50 per mile to keep a car going between long term repairs and fuel. So yes, tips are a must and a necessary evil, the way I see it. Tip the pizza guy, please!
You deliver to Lakeview? I'm gonna need some pizza later this afternoon. Depends on what part of Lakeview, but that's most likely the store at 3927 Lincoln. 773-525-7272.
Are you still doing this? Okay, here I go... Papa John's offers a lot of management opportunities (in my personal experience here in Florida) do you see yourself climbing the ladder or is this just a thing that leads to the next thing for you? Yes, they do, and I have been up the ladder and voluntarily climbed back down... This is just a side gig for me now, something to do at night as I teach music and whatnot during the day. To be honest, I make about twice as much money at this store delivering than I would managing.
My boyfriend ordered and he went to the store and he doesn't have any cash so can you leave the pizza and come back for the money later or go to the store and meet him? Yeah, this happens more often than you might think. He can pays with a card or come back with cash. We can't sell orders that have been sitting out for more than 2 hours under the heat lamps, though. That's just gross and by that point the drivers are staring at it sitting there like a pack of hungry wolves.
I always order around $25 worth of pizza and usually always tip $5. Is this tip acceptable? We live less than 2 minutes from the local Pizza Hut we order from and I am lazy. You are awesome, my friend. A $5 tip is excellent. The general rule of thumb, since a lot of chains don't have a minimum order for delivery, is that you tip $3 or 15%, whichever is greater. A lot of people think $1 is still a tip. This is not 1988.
Also, even if it is out of your control, do you feel if a pizza takes longer than 30 minutes it is rude to not tip? Especially if the online timer said it would be there at a certain time? Also, the delivery time has nothing to do with the drivers. This is a common misconception. While we try to be as accurate as possible with delivery time quotas, we have to keep them low to keep corporate happy. If you live in a big city or order during a busy time (dinner rush or late-night), expect it to be different. A lot of times drivers are held up by surprise large orders of 10 or more pizzas or the very common drunk customer that fell asleep and won't answer their phone. We do try to get it there as soon as possible. That being said, I make it a point to apologize for any pizza that took more than 45 minutes whether it was my fault or not.
Cool, thanks. Like I said, I always tip anyways, I know you guys live on tips. You pay my bills and I am eternally grateful. People like you always get your orders as fast as possible and bumped up in line.
What's your take on the black population of Chicago not tipping? Well, we deliver to Lincoln Park, which is mostly white, but there are some black folks in our area (mostly middle class but some over in the projects on the river at Diversey). We all hate to admit it but anyone who has ever worked for tips as a waitewaitress or delivery drivers know the stereotype that black people don't tip. Well, it's true. About 90% of the time. Yes, for some people it does have an impact on their service time and quality. Not sure how or when this will ever change, sorry to say.
It's just one of those things that everyone knows and acknowledges (even the black drivers) but is kind of afraid to talk about for obvious reasons. It's not just black people, either. Most customers from other countries can be expected to not tip as well.
How do yall make the garlic sauce, and can you buy them in bulk? That garlic sauce is now thoroughly disgusting to me, I hate to admit. It's made at some corporate factory like every other ingredient in every chain's pizza. I've never done it personally, but I know some of our management will buy cases of the stuff for customers who are loyal and beg for it. We get 200 of those cups for $12 and then charge $0.75 a cup to the customer. But because they're so cheap, the employees usually take a lot of them home to make garlic mashed potatoes and other stoner concoctions with at home.
Wouldnt putting actual minced garlic in their potatoes make a better garlic mashed potato? Yes, but you have to try it at least once!
If you had to choose between the brain of a monkey with the body of a human, or the brain of a human with the body of a monkey, what would you choose? Brain of a human with the body of a monkey, for sure. Maybe it would help the other monkeys learn our ways better if it was coming from one of their own.
Did anyone ever answer the door and was just plain rude the whole time? Like for example, you open the door and they scream or sneer at you for no reason? It's interesting. A lot of people over the phone will be rude and nasty, but when a big pizza man comes to their door they get scared straight and put on a smile.
Have any lonely housewives ever wanted to have sex with you? None of them have ever directly told me, but I can remember one woman way back when who would always request me to take her pizza to her and come to the door in a low-cut bathrobe or tank top with no bra on. To be honest, I think she got a rise out of showing herself off as much as all the dick flashers I have encountered.
I work at 300 N LaSalle. Could you hook me up with a free za? Not in our area, sorry. That'd be the River North store. I can tell you, though, it's damned easy to get a free pizza from us. The management will always believe you if you call and say your pizza was wrong. They have to give you a free large.
How much do you receive in compensation for the use of your vehicle, in $ per mile (or cents per mile). If you don't know that, what is your per delivery reimbursement and what does your store base that number off of in terms of average distance driven per delivery? We don't get paid by mile, but we do get $0.75 per delivery. Our deliveries average about 2 miles round trip, and my car gets about 18 MPG in the city, so each run costs me roughly $0.50 in gas. So after our hourly wages and an average of 3 deliveries an hour, I make about $6.25 an hour plus tips.
Are you positive on that miles per delivery average or are you just guessing? Do you know what your franchise bases the compensation on? I could make more comments about the last sentence, but will hold back for now. Yes, the exact average is something like 2.03 miles. So it's a rough estimate of what I'm making per hour. Considering our average tips are above $4 however, we make a lot more than $6.25 an hour.
Yeah, that whole situation is a lot more to get into. Basically, choose your friends wisely.
I usually always tip my delivery guy. One time though I miscalculated and didn't have enough cash. I made it up to him by giving him 10 dollars the next time. :) Also happens a lot. It's fine, as long as it's made up for. I referenced our 'shit list' in another post, and as I put there, you're not gonna get messed with over forgetting to tip once. We know it happens :).
What's your favorite pizza toppings? Personally, I love all things spicy. 90% of the pizza I order is deep dish, and when I get that, I always get pepperoni, hot Italian sausage, and hot giardiniera. When I get regular crust from Domino's or something, though, it's always pineapple, bacon, Canadian bacon, red peppers, and BBQ sauce instead of pizza sauce.
I love Papa Johns. Since we got a store in my area a couple years ago, I've ordered a few pizzas a month from there. Always order online by CC, and always add a $7-$10 tip. My pizza has never taken longer than 30 minutes to get here, so my question is more out of curiousity, but I've always wondered- if you had two deliveries, one where they already tipped on the card and one where they hadn't, who would you deliver to first? A lot of Chicagoans do, too! I love the pre-pay tip feature we have online, as well. The way drivers figure it is we take whoever tips the highest percentage first, which is way against company policy but is a pretty strict code of conduct in our world. Unless one or more of the orders is late; I wouldn't make someone wait an extra 15 minutes if they had actually ordered long before the other order(s). But you high tippers are awesome and appreciated and people probably recognize your name and give you extra peppers :).
I drive for Pizza Hut so I know most of your feels. For some reason I average like 2.50 tip per delivery and everyone else manages to get 3/4. So my question: average tip? And what "script" do you use when at their door? Yeah that's the problem I had when I was at Pizza Hut, too. My average now is over $5. The good thing about Papa John's, though, is that they have an option on online orders to pre-pay a tip. Just let that sink in and think about how messed up our system of tipping and paying sub-minimum wages is here in the states..
Anyway, customers like it when you are smiling and make it known that you went out of your way for them. When I'm taking orders in-store, I often take my time inputting the order in the computer and tell them I'm going through all of our coupons and deals to make sure they're getting the best discount. Of course I already know which one to give them, but it makes them feel special. If they ordered extra sauce or sides, let them know you double checked for them and take care to let them know what box they are in, etc. Comment on their home and a painting you like, or that it smells nice, you know, all bullshit but something to make them feel pretty.
The world of tips can be quite evil, but the best way to get tips is to manipulate the customer into thinking you care about them. In fact, this is key in all retail. Sounds fucked up but it'll keep you afloat. That, and in this world of pizza delivery, take as many doubles/triple/quads as you can. I'm not sure how busy you guys are, but I rarely take single runs out at once now. Make sure you know your area well and management will catch on to the fact you know your shit.
Where do you work around? South of Fullerton? South down Austin? Delivery area is from North to Belmont, river to lake. Our store is at Clark/Diversey/Broadway.
Do you guys not collect those complimentary cards on deliveries? I got one a year ago and have just been re-using it since and paying the $5 and change "delivery charge". Well, we're supposed to, but the management or whoever took your order usually doesn't remember to let the driver know to collect the card when they're headed out. It's a huge oversight problem with this company, but hey, who can argue with $5 large pizzas?
Fun fact: I have like 80 of those things in my car from over time that I let friends use to order Papa John's.
The answer is no one can argue $5 large pizzas, what is your favorite specialty pizza? I actually liked the double cheeseburger pizza we had a couple months back... it sounds weird but it was strangely delicious. The one we've got out right now, sweet chili chicken, is thoroughly disgusting.
But my staple has always been Hawaiian, the plain 'ol pineapple, ham, bacon, and BBQ sauce.
Am I an asshole if I tip with quarters? I once gave a guy 6 worth of quarters. He just laughed and said bye. Ha! Not at all. We get to change that out at the end of the night. I get rid of all my singles usually and take the stores bigger bills. Pizza shops thrive on dollar bills and quarters like a casino.
How old are you 2. do you carry a gun for protection? 26.
No, I would if I could, but most pizza places don't let you carry more than maybe a knife. I haven't ever felt the need to have one at this store.
How much money per hour would you need before you considered being an independent driver (you don't work for the company; you're a contractor)? I'd have to think about that, but at least double the $5.50/hour I see right now. And they'd have to stop charging that ridiculous 'delivery fee.'
I don't understand; they charge you as the driver a delivery fee? I thought delivery fees mostly go into the driver's pocket. Nope, they charge the customer the delivery fee that then pays our wages so they don't have to.
I work for a family owned pizza shop and the two dollar delivery fee comes out of the register and goes directly in the drivers pocket. That's awesome! What do you guys get per hour?
Would you be happy with a delivery fee that you kept 100% of? Yes, because it would make up for all the customers who don't tip. $2.75 is our delivery fee, and it would make our jobs a lot easier to do if we just saw all of that. At the same time, it would change the game of delivery. We literally only care about tips and it's become kind of a fun game trying to get them over the years.
Have you ever been asked to star in a porn film while delivering pizza? No, but I wish! I know my 13-year-old self dreamed of being a pizza guy at one point..
I did some calculations for a delivery place once and found that tips averaged 18.5%. I think an independent delivery service that simply charged 20% delivery charge [no tips allowed] and passed it almost completely to the drivers might work well for everyone; do you agree? Definitely. Actually, there are a couple companies in Chicago I know of that are doing this now. My favorite is called WeDeliver. Hours are picked by the drivers and they choose the runs they want to take on a smartphone app during business hours from 7 AM to 10 PM. They get paid a commission off of each delivery and can make pretty good money actually.
Ever been offered sexual acts by those who don't have the money for the pizza? Not yet. And, seeing as I need the money more, I'm glad!
He's got over negative 8000 karma, of course he's a douche. Keep him going so we can get him OVER 9000.
Why the fuck would someone eat at Papa Johns in CHICAGO !!! There are so many Pizza places that are non chain that are a thousand times better. Thank you a thousand times over for this. I personally am a complete pizza snob to the point where I can hardly eat out for pizza anymore because I make my own deep dish at home! I never liked Papa John's much but after eating it daily for so long I really loathe the stuff. Yes, even the garlic sauce.
From a former pizza delivery driver to another delivery driver: keep on keeping on. It is a noble labor we provide. Thanks, brother. We do our best!
As a delivery driver, how do you feel about the counter person (individual who answers all the calls and such) Often times when we are slow or really backed up, I am also that counter person. They are pretty up to speed on what info the drivers need. If we have really large tips on massive orders, some of us will split it with the cooks and phone operators.
R u gay. No.
Proof? Don't have proof of the store I work at but I can get it today... posting an Imgur link now for proof I do actually work at PJs
Last updated: 2014-05-13 22:32 UTC
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2014.04.23 04:41 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: We are the professional runners of the New Jersey-New York Track Club here to answer all of your questions! Ask us anything!

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Date: 2014-04-23
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Questions Answers
Kyle, what was more devastating: not making nationals after running the 'American collegiate record' or your hs gf cheating on you? This is the best question here. And the answer is yes.
Kyle.
The Real Merb, Are there any plans to make a follow up to The Real Maine? I think a documentary like that was a step in the right direction and with some real planning, it can generate a lot of interest in running. We have talked about it a lot. What a lot of people don't realize is that was Erik's thesis and there were certain things he had to do to fulfill certain requirements. In the future we would hopefully be a bit further on in our career, and change the idea up and possibly add in a couple new faces. Erik has learned a lot since then and we have talked about it. One idea we had was to jump around the different groups we are a part of and get an inside look to compare NJ*NY, Brooks Beasts, Bowerman TC, etc. Really glad you enjoyed it, and it was a fun summer. Erik threatens us with releasing the R-rated version, which would be the demise of our futures. -Kyle.
Robby Andrews, does Kyle Merber cut his sandwich diagonally or does he eat them in two boring fucking squares? Kyle is a hipster, so first he cuts it in weird designs and then takes black and white photos of it.
Robby.
I ate sandwiches before they were cool. -Kyle.
Mr. Cabral, What was your most memorable moment while running at the 2012 Olympic Games? Definitely the opening ceremonies! After a long walk to the stadium giving high fives to local kids chanting USA! USA! USA! we got to the track. When I walked in it was dark but the seats were lit up and I realized the magnitude of the ceremony & how the whole world was watching. Jitters just typing about it now! -Donn.
Shorts or half tights? I've noticed that since being signed by Adidas you seem to be favoring the tights over the short shorts, any particular reason why? The guys on the Princeton team gave me a lot of confidence to wear the short shorts, so I've been sticking with that this year!
To any and all: Any up coming races on the schedule? If so what are they? How do goals shift in a non-championship year? Heather Wilson just finished 3rd in the US Road Mile about 10 minutes ago! Other than that, we'll have a few guys and girls running the mile at Penn. THEN, it'll be a meet at Henderson High School in Pa., Payton Jordan, Oxy, (maybe someone at World Relays), Pre, another Henderson meet and onto USAs.
I've got Payton Jordan and Oxy coming up next. Since its my first year post-collegiate, the goal for me is to run some big PRs and gain some experience. (Penney)
Scratch that, Heather was 4th after official results came out. Still a great race for her.
Payton Jordan 5k Oxy 3kSC and I'm hoping for Golden Gala (Diamond League in Rome) 3kSC and maybe 1 other race in Europe the following week.
After a rough yr last year my focus is just getting back to PR-type level. Placing well at USAs & getting a more respectable 5k PR are on the to-do list too! -Donn.
Mr. Rutt, How has having Hoka as a sponsor served you, as a middle distance runner? The Hoka sponsorship is going GREAT! Their shoes are awesome for all of my recovery runs and even a few of my tempo runs. We are in the process of developing spikes, and there are some lightweight trainers that will be coming out in the next few months. They will be used ideally for my track workouts. They are doing a lot to work with me as a middle distance runner. It's great to know that they really want to help me out!
Hey there Delilah, What's it like in New York City? Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. - Delilah.
Kyle, Ever since the "glass incident" the challenge has always been to stay healthy. I did a great job of that during the indoor season and had the biggest consistent block of training I have had in years. I developed some muscle imbalances and have gotten significantly better at evening them out. I was really excited to run 1:47 at BU and come back the next day to hand off the relay in first. I thought I was prepped to run 3:55 or so the next weekend at Iowa St, but our flight got cancelled due to snow and I never got the chance. Unfortunately I had a small little niggle right after that, but am healthy and back training now. I'll be opening up a bit later in the season because of it, which I am OK with since the goal was always for a much later summer season, anyways. That's the perk of running post-collegiately--no conferences to rush back for. S.
How is training coming along? I know you have dealt with various injuries over the years but it seems like you are struggling to return to the form you had when you ran 3:35. Is there anything specific area you need to work on to get back to that level of fitness?? I don't think the track is short, although I will joke about it. It was the most perfectly set up race and weather possible for me, and I honestly felt invincible that day. If the track was short, I think you would see some ridiculous times coming from there more often. And even if it was short, it was still a competitive field.
Also side question...do you ever wonder if that Swarthmore track is short? Kyle.
What does an average day for you guys look like? Dear will I miss you. -Genna.
how do you suggest one looks for clubs if one is considering running post-collegiately? Dear Will I miss you? -Genna.
How do you deal with her? THAT WAS NOT ME, LIES. also i knew this was you well before I had "This is not Will" read to me. - Love, Genna.
Robby, what's the most slices of pizza you've had in one sitting? A whole pie. Haven't tried for anymore than that. Maybe this off season? - robby.
1st I gotta give a shout out to Wayne Bartholomew since I'm from Moco. 2nd, how do you guys approach workouts with such a big group? Are things more individualized or do you guys go with the group mostly? Thanks for the shout out man. We usually split up into groups. Sometimes the groups are big on strength days but speed days they usually get cut down to groups for more specific events, etc. -Wayne.
I hear that when you go to Chipotle, you ask for a water cup for tap water, then fill it up with lemonade even though you didn't pay for a drink. Is this true? Only on Wednesdays -Rutt.
Would you consider expanding to field a sub-elite team (organized workouts/coaching)? Yes. Gags is considering this. Keep in touch with our squad. If Gags pulls the trigger on this, we'll put the word out for anyone interested.
Yes but not at same time as elite and possiblity of rye, ny with asst coaches, gag.
[serious question]: what are your views on partying / drinking? Does it differ by athlete? Dry season? All in moderation. Be smart based on the racing/workout schedule.
Dancing is recommended always. Basically whenever an opportunity arises... and even if they don't -Ash.
There is a time and place for everything. But running should always take priority. If you're dedicating so much time and effort to the sport, why not go all the way to give yourself the best shot of succeeding.
Delilah - Being a big steeple chase runner, how was the transition to half-marathon and marathon? I know that you were quite the cross country runner, but I can imagine that the transition can be difficult. Which event do you prefer? Thanks! I love the steeple but cross country is where my heart is! It's been like that since HS. The transition to the marathon was difficult for me because I had to bump up my mileage and my body didn't respond too well. I was plagued with some injuries in training. If I do the marathon again I'll make adjustment to have a longer, slower build up instead of ramping up my mileage too soon. - Delilah.
Who was the coolest, most awesome, HOTTEST guy you ever met in clinic at law school and why was it me? You know, I'm not sure if it was the flip flops in December or that mystery movie you should me where you play lead detective... somewhere in there I knew. -Ash.
Best advice for a HS junior looking to join Heps Nation? Also (to Kyle), what is your interest in joining me for a run this summer in Long Island? I'm not Kyle but I can help! I would email all the coaches a short but pertinent list of your personal bests and interests. All of the coaches are great and very responsive and the best way to find out who is the best fit is talking to them as much as you can. Also, as far as financial aid, talk to as many schools as you can, it may help your aid. - Genna Hartung, Cornell '13.
Get your SAT scores up. The better you do on the standardized tests and in school, the slower you can be to get into an Ivy. It makes the coaches jobs much easier as they need to maintain a team average when it comes to HS academics. They'll only take someone bringing down the average if they've run really fast. Additionally, if you're really smart, you'll help out which is much appreciated. Don't be afraid to email the coaches either. Unlike a lot of schools, The Ivy recruits nationally so don't misconstrue a lack of contact from them as a lack of interest. And I am 100% always looking for running partners. My spot is Belmont Lake State Park. I'll post on the LI Runners Facebook page next time I am home. -Kyle.
Well that's a great choice... if you go to Princeton! But in all seriousness, the league has a great atmosphere, and a great balance of athletics & academics. And indoor heps has more energy than any meet I've ever seen. I'll volunteer Kyle for a run with you! -Donn.
Robby - Is there ever a time when you race without the wife beater underneath your singlet? Never! Old habits die hard.
Robby.
Easy runs fast or slow? Farah and rupp supposedly do their easy runs at 5k pace + 90s per mile. We usually take em pretty easy. We work out pretty hard M-W-F with a long run Saturday so on the off days we run by feel, which can get pretty pedestrian. -Donn.
I go by feel. But always listen to your body and don't force it if it's not there!
Ashley, How do you feel about Jim Schlentz dying his hair? I kind of think he looks more normal if it's gray, but when he turns it like orange it looks weird. Do you think that the dying makes him look younger, or weirder? Both??? Link to media.tumblr.com - Ash.
Dear Donn Juan, Hows the guinea pig? have you seen the South Park ep with Lemmiwinks? if not you should check it out. Addison's a saint! But she's smart enough and could definitely find her way out if she needed to...
Kyle, what would it take for you to stop tweeting? More friends. Kyle.
A threat from Gags -Rutt.
For all, what is your take on Nick Symmonds's goal to go for a Beer mile WR this year? Would you guys consider a similar "joke" race to get attention/publicity? The indoor mile steeple gives me significantly more attention then running an actual race any day. I think anything that makes the sport fun and marketable is great! Especially when you can then show up when it counts - Ash.
Nick does a great job to market himself as well as the sport. I think we would consider doing something similar, given it was done at the right time of the year and nobody would risk getting injured. -Rutt.
Ashley, Last year at the Henderson distance festival I gave you my number and never got a call back, whats up with that? I know I look young, but I was afraid it might be against the law to contact you. - Ash.
What advice would give for MS/HS runners? Have fun and listen to your coaches! If you take yourself too seriously you could easily burn out by college.
Live by the clock.
Hey Sophia! Listen to the coaches in your life who are always there looking out for you. Learn to enjoy the sport as a process and make the best out of each step along the way. -Kyle.
To anyone: What is the most memorable race you have ever had? What made it such a great memory? My most memorable race was when I ran 1.59.6 that's because that was my PR... BOOM -LaTavia.
Winning the 4x800 at Penn Relays in 2011! There is nothing like the rush of racing in front of 40,000 fans and winning a relay at one of the most prestigious meets in the world! - Cyd.
Running at my first NCAA meet. 2010 indoor nationals... it wasn't a great race by any means, I ran the 1200 of the dmr but it was a race that made me believe I could run at a higher level, and doing it with friends made it that much better. Rebeka.
Winning the xc Heps team title in 2009. Everything is more fun with your teammates. Kyle.
To the milers (and anyone else who wants to answer) what kind of mileage do you guys do? In buildup phase, beginning of season, and in the heart of the season? and do you take time completely off after the season or just drop the mileage? 65-75 in season but 75-85 in base training
Donn, how does it feel being less attractive than Evan Jager? Keeps me up every night! -Donn.
False!
Donn is so hot.
Top 5 best Dyestatters of all time? WATCHOUT!!
SteveU.
Hey this one's directed to Coach Bob. On a scale of 1-10 how big of a factor was having faith in your girlfriend when you won NCAAs from the Kick Heard Around Des Moines? On the scale of 1-10 it was important to me that the people closest to me had faith!
Robby.
Is Liam Boylan-Pett still competing? Man he used to destroy me in high school. Never lapped me though! I am! At least trying to. Thanks for asking. I will be racing the mile at Penn this weekend. Hoping for another sub-4. If you still live in Michigan, I should be back this summer for Ryan Shay Mile at end of July and then hopefully racing the Michigan Track Classic Mile at Saline on Aug 10. It was an awesome event last year. - LBP.
It'd be great if you could jump into the track classic so I could try to lap you, though. Haha, thanks!
Merbs, What was your experience at Texas like? I think I remember hearing you were injured at one point but can't remember too well. PS. You will always be remembered as a Blue Nooge at Summit. I loved it and consider it an extremely important part of my life and career. I learned a lot, and I feel bad that I couldn't give the coaches and my team a more healthy and consistent year. Austin is an exciting city to be in for a 20-something, and the experience of a Big 12 school was very different from an Ivy.
Here is a blog I wrote on it in the weeks after: Link to kylemerber.wordpress.com
Kyle.
Hey Donn, Remember when you out kicked Merber at Penn? That made me mad. - Will. DMR or 4xmile? ;-) -Donn "Lion killer" Cabral.
Russell can you talk about your move between clubs? Why did you move and how have things changed? What were some of the things you liked and disliked about Eugene? I moved because I got engaged, my fiance got a job here, and I needed a change of scenery. I loved pretty much everything about Eugene, and was sad to leave. Living in New York though makes every day exciting. It's been an easy transition. Gags and Vin have very similar approaches to training, and I knew and liked pretty much everyone on the team before I got here. - Russell.
How hard is it to deal with teammate Genna Hartung on a daily basis? In all seriousness- how has your training changed since college? She's my roommate, it's horrible. Haha actually Genna is awesome, we've both had some ups and downs with injuries this year and we've been very supportive of each other this year. The training with NJ*NY is WAY more intense and I'm doing way more volume than I did in college. I was a 400/800 runner in college and now I'm doing way more mile and strength work and it's hard as shit. But I'm definitely a lot stronger physically and mentally- Cyd.
I'm getting so much love (not) on here :P. Dealing with me is horrible for sure, thank god my teammates and coach are saints. But seriously, training is much much more intense. We do workouts I would have never expected to do, and our volume is much higher. Everything is emphasized as well, especially core, rehab, etc.
Any secrets of the trade? Nutrition? Recovery tools? Maybe some beet root juice? Live by the clock -all of us
Meaning sleep and wake at the same time everyday, weekends included? Also, run at the same time everyday? Do your best to. It will go a long way. And I'd also say it's better to train at 90% than 101%. Consistency is key.
Merb, if I remember right you were injured stepping on a broken bottle. How much of an "oh shit oh shit" moment was that?? It was a huge shock. I really didn't know what the repercussions were going to be at the time. I was just pissed I didn't get to finish up my run since I was on a roll (hence not looking down). A few hours later when my foot was completely swollen, I realized I was going to have to take a few days off...
Kyle.
All of you: If you could go back and run for any college (you can't say the school you went to) which school would you attend? and why? Stanford-- at the same time as russell brown ;)
Stanford. The weather is awesome. They have great coaches. And a Stanford education is top-notch.
Probably Florida, because it's warm and I hate the cold weather! -Wayne.
Princeton, because I went there and know it's the right answer from experience. ;) - Ash.
Columbia. I'd go there, bring a horrible attitude to practice every day and ruin the team culture so Princeton could reign supreme. -Donn.
Kyle- I've asked you before, but when do you plan on blogging more? You're blogs were probably the biggest reason I started training again after my knee surgery. Also have any of the others considered blogging? Work on your hurdles and water barriers, but don't overdo the water barrier practice. Also, stay relaxed and don't forget how much will change in the last 1k. - Genna When you practice water barriers, set up a barrier in the turf most of the time. That's much safer than using the actual water or the LJ pit. The more efficient your hurdling, the less it'll aggravate injuries. -Donn I am taking a small break right now. I've been pretty busy between running/coaching/work, but I probably should start doing some here and there more often. Hearing something like that is the motivation why I have always tried to be so open about my career.
Donn, Travis, Ashley, Delilah (any of the steeplers)- any advice or pro tips for a college steepler returning from injury or on steeple in general? As for returning for injury, take it slow and do the little things. Make sure you get in the weight room!
I live in New Jersey and it's pretty cool to have a professional team based off of an area versus a company sponsor. I guess my first question would be what is it like running for a team that is not apparel sponsored? It's nice because we have so many athletes living and training together that would not have otherwise been able to. Gags wants the best runners training together, regardless of what uniforms they have on.
Also will any of you be at Penn Relays on Friday? I run the 4x8 at 9:20AM for the high school boys and it would be awesome to meet you guys. Not sure if anyone will be there Friday night. Best of luck! -Rutt.
I guess this question is open for anyone. What's been the most difficult thing in terms of making the jump from racing at the collegiate level to the professional level? Staying within yourself on a day to day basis in practice. It is very easy to get caught up in the high level workouts and push it to much and overtrain.
The most difficult thing jumping for collegiate to professional level for me was not having the trainers there...
LaTavia.
The most difficult transition for me was getting used to each race being a battle. In college, it was possible to race the first few meets of the year without really "going to the well." Now, each and every single race takes every ounce of energy to pull out a victory or a PR. Luckily, Coach Gags works us in practice to simulate races and get ready for competitions. -Rutt.
From a middle school track athlete, what would you recommend doing to help me improve? I run mile and 800. It's all relative to how you're training currently. At NJNY we believe in mixing aerobic strength with food speed. To see what types of training we do, you can check out my blog at mikeruttrunning.blogspot.com where I log all of our workouts (since the beginning of 2014). -Rutt.
Make sure you start focus on the little things as opposed to just running more. Sleep, nutrition, stretching, functional strength training (not lots of heavy lifting) are all integral to your success. At this point, any sort of consistence running will make you better. -Cyd.
Listen to your coaches! Make realistic goals for yourself. Now is a great time to learn about what you can and can't handle in terms of training. And minimize the junk food. Also do the little things such as stretching, rolling on the foam roller; things like that. -Wayne.
Is Higginson there? How do you find the time to go to Law school and train? I work all day, then at about 6-7 o'clock I start to run and I am pretty tired. I want to do a half marathon but I just don't seem to have the time. Any tips? While I will admit there are things I miss out on (be it evening activities at school, clubs, a social life generally), I am so happy with my school running balance - I can't imagine it any other way now. My biggest advice, 1. stick to a schedule, getting up early gets easier if it is the same alarm every day. 2. Write out your goals for the week, you are more likely to do something you have already put on a list. 3. Don't decide what life should look like by comparing to other people's lives - Do you! - Ash.
Hey Erik, I've been really tired in practice recently. A friend recommended taking an iron pill and a nap to take the edge off. What do you think? Dont ask berg. he is tired in races!!! gag.
Don't do iron pills derick take a multi vitamin but make sure you take naps I love them but get your blood work done right now I'm a little low.
Unfortunately the last couple I have been.
Will any of you be competing in any American Track League events this summer? Link here: Link to www.americantrackleague.com. Specifically the first meet in Bloomington, IN. Good luck to each of you this outdoor season! No plans right now. did they get sponsors? gag.
Who is the least likeable: Joffrey from Game of Thrones, that couple who runs Amy's bakery, or Kyle Merber? And why is the answer Kyle Merber? Joffrey is dead and I am a yelper.
Kyle.
Why do you guys think that it's a good use of your time on earth to run around in a circle? Sometimes we do out-and-back runs too. -Donn.
We may run around in circles but some of us jump over stuff too!
$$$
If you guys were in the Peanuts gang who would be who? i'll start, Renee would be Peppermint Patty. Merber is Pigpen ... for the person who asked him about the headband unwashed, might want to rethink.
What are your favorite recovery tools (rope, Stick, lax ball, Froller [frozen], foam roller, massage, food)? I'm all about the recovery! I can't live without my rope, black foam roller, and lacrosse ball. If I'm flying, I make sure to pack those things on my carry-on so I can stretch on the flight and in the airport. I also try and get a massage once a week and see the chiropractor whenever anything feels iffy. Additionally, I've found that the sauna and the pool are great recovery tools also. I'm a huge fan of luna bars after workouts or other homemade goodies :) Cyd.
Compression gear (110% brand), foam rollers, trigger point kits, sticks, and ropes! For food...sushi -Rutt.
I don't know if he's here, but Brian Gagnon--are you gonna be at Foss this year? I'm at Foss every year! Wouldn't miss it. Best two weeks of the summer. - Gagnon.
However when it comes to racing I feel like I under preform very often. I'm just not hitting the times that I should given how healthy I am and how much I'm in shape. So basically any advice on how to improve when it comes to racing? Thanks! I really appreciate hearing that and I always try to take advantage of any opportunity to talk to younger runners. I had a lot of older runners help me during my time in HS, so I figure I owe it to pay it forward.
I would just like to thank Merber for being an inspiration to us in Section 11. Your speech at the Xc County dinner last year was very insightful. Kyle.
Who among you use altitude tents? And if so, do you find it actually works or does it merely have a placebo effect? Do the decreases to sleep quality negate the positive aerobic effects? I do. If I sleep poorly the tent is just set too high. I never knew if it had an effect but I got testing done this year and it showed some improvement. -Donn.
Two part question: What was your greatest moment / memory in your running career? What do you do to pump yourself up before a meet? Hard to pinpoint THE greatest memory I've had in my running career but one of the tops would have to be the day I signed to LSU. When I get ready for a race I usually just put on one of my designated race day playlists and envision the race.
Also, is it true Merber has seen Mottram's sack?
Russell, If you can only eat one food for the rest of your life would it be oatmeal or something else? If you'd asked me what I would eat for one day, it still wouldn't be oatmeal. Rest of my life...It would have to be Pop-tarts, brown sugacinnamon. There is just no substitute. That is not the athlete in me talking though. I'm just trying to be honest on here.
Can't you put brown sugar and cinnamon in your oatmeal? Yes, but it still tastes like oatmeal. You gave me an idea though- Pop-tarts in oatmeal, that is something I could survive on for a while.
Hi guys! I am a HS short sprinter (100m, 200m, 4x100). What would you recommend eating the night before and the day of a track meet? What other methods are useful to help prepare for the meet? Thanks! Stay away from fatty foods and sweets! Your body will be happy if you eat clean. Also, you can do some recovery techniques like using ice baths to get your body ready. -Rutt.
Ayo, super sweet that y'all are doing this. A question directed at The Real Merb: Rumors are swirling about the new head coach at UT, and some people are saying that he's terrible and a dick, while others seem to love him. UT got a pretty nasty recruiting class this year for sure, where do you see that going? And thoughts on Craig? Injury wise/ emotional love for the game, as well as was he seriously considering transferring cause the new coach rubbed so many people wrong? Also, just signed to run D1 at Auburn today, so any tips? Thanks. I think in any coaching transition there will be people on the team who are unhappy. Many of the runners came to a specific university because of their relationship with the coach, and it's heartbreaking when things change. I think it's not fair to judge a coach until a few years have passed, and their own recruited runners start filtering into the program. Craig is a gamer and will rebound strongly.
Kyle.
Who's the best mini-golfer? ME - LaTavia
Hey Berg, Given the choice, would you rather be the top scientist in your field, or contract mad cow disease? Well obviously to be the top scientist in my field...
Kyle: any chance of you updating your blog soon? I really liked some of your entries! Also I'd like to say thanks for your coaching advice you gave me a couple weeks back and apologize I never replied back. Happy Running! Tonight has motivated me to start putting out blogs a bit more regularly again. I don't want to force anything, but if I am feeling enlightend anytime soon, I will be sure to write it down there. And I hope the advice was helpful. I try and write back to everyone whoever emails or Facebook messages me, especially when it is about training.
Kyle.
Do you guys ever train at altitude? If so, where do you prefer? I've done Park City before and loved it. Albuquerque has recently gone up in my book too!
Columbia or princeton this year at heps xc? PRINCETON - - - GIRLS!!! - Ash.
To Mr. Berg, How are things on Home Planet Swag? Do the swag berries still taste of swag berries, fresh plucked from the swag hole? The swag berries taste like swag berries!!! So juicy you should come get them
I've been fortunate to meet a few of your teammates before, and I think that the program you guys have is pretty awesome. My question (for anyone who wants to answer) is how have you copped with hardships in your running careers? I'm at the point now where I don't want to continue running competitively at the DI level, but it's obviously a really tough decision. Any thoughts or comments? Thanks for any advice you can give! Never give up. All it takes is a string of a few months of training to put together some really awesome races. It can be tough to get over hardships, but having a good support system around you is another huge asset. My advice is to work with trainers, strength coaches, and nutritionists. If you have some imbalances in your body, it can cause a lot of problems, and those people can usually help you answer those questions. -Rutt.
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2013.12.27 19:44 NEBRASSKICKER [35 Bowls in 17 Days] The Fight Hunger Bowl

The Fight Hunger Bowl
University of Washington vs. Brigham Young University
BYU vs Washington Record: 4-4
Bowl Information
Date: December 27th, 2013
Time: 9:30 PM EST
Channel: ESPN
Broadcast Crew: Dave Pasch, Brian Greise, Tom Luginbill
Point Spread: Washington -3
O/U: 60
Bowl History
Year Founded: 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA
Stadium: AT&T Park (Capacity 40,184)
What a
beautiful place
for a football game!
:)
Conference Tie-ins: 6th in Pac-12 versus BYU
Payout: $1,000,000 (Washington); $850,000 (BYU)
Trophy: Fight Hunger Bowl Trophy
2012 Season Result: Arizona State 62 - Navy 28
Sophomore quarterback Taylor Kelly threw four touchdown passes and ran for a fifth score to lead Arizona State to its first bowl win in seven years, a 62-28 rout over Navy. The win put a finish to the first successful season for the Sun Devils under coach Todd Graham. Sen. John McCain, a former Navy fighter pilot who represents Arizona in Congress, handled the pre-game toss. Instead of using a coin, the game sponsored by Kraft uses an Oreo, with one side being a chocolate cookie and the other vanilla.
Recap
Full Game
Fight Hunger Bowl History:
Recognizing that the San Francisco Giants occupy AT&T Park only about 85 days each year, the Giants in 1999 established a new branch, Giants Enterprises, to develop non-baseball uses for the ballpark. During construction of the venue, the Giants discovered that the turf surface was big enough to accommodate a full sized football field, and plans were put in motion to bring the a football game to AT&T Park.
Giants Enterprises president Pat Gallagher, teamed up with John Marks (president of the SFCVB) and Gary Cavalli (a 30-year veteran of the pro and college sports industry) and launched an effort to establish a college bowl game in the City by the Bay.
After acquiring a four-year agreement with the two conferences and a seven-year commitment from ESPN, Cavalli and Gallagher appeared before the NCAA Post-season Football Committee on April 30, 2002. Two days later, the NCAA granted initial certification to the new San Francisco Bowl, culminating a two-and-a-half year effort.
The bowl has had 4 different names in it’s 12 year history including The Diamond Walnut San Francisco Bowl (2002-2003), The Emerald Bowl (2004-2009), The Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl (2010-2012), and simply The Fight Hunger Bowl (2013). Starting in 2014, the bowl will be moved to its new home at Levi’s Stadium (home of the San Francisco 49ers) where it will have a new title sponsor and host the 4th place team in the Pac-12 and the 5th or 7th place team in the Big Ten.
Historic Games:
2004 Emerald Bowl Navy 34 vs New Mexico 19
Prior to the game the New Mexico Lobos were favored by a single point. The game was highlighted by a 26-play, 14 minute-26 second drive from the Midshipmen that took just over 32 minutes in real time and set the record for the longest drive in a National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) college football game. Navy’s win lifted their record to 10-2 for the season, making it their second 10 win season in history and the first in 99 years.
Highlights
2008 Emerald Bowl Miami 17 vs California 24
ESPN’s primetime telecast of the 2008 Emerald Bowl was the network’s 8th most-watched college football bowl game ever, according to ratings figures compiled by the network and rightly so. After being in and out of the top 25 rankings all season, both teams were itching for a win. The Bears jumped out to an early 14–0 lead, but true freshman QB Harris was able to lead the Hurricanes back with touchdown passes in the second and third quarter while the Miami defense was able to shut out the Cal offense in the second quarter and limited them to a field goal in the third. With 3:28 left in the game, Cal Linebacker Zack Follett forced a turnover deep in Miami territory. Anthony Miller scored the go-ahead touchdown on his first career catch 47 seconds later. The win gave California a 9-4 record and propelled them into the top 25 in the Coaches’ Poll.
Full Game
Highilghts
Fun Facts
  • The Fight Hunger Bowl is one of three college bowl games played in baseball-specific stadiums, alongside the Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl in St. Petersburg, Florida, played at Tropicana Field, and the Pinstripe Bowl in New York, played at Yankee Stadium.
  • The 2013 Fight Hunger Bowl will be the first FBS football game in history with two female officials..
  • Because AT&T Park is not normally used for football, the arrangement of the playing field requires both teams to be on the same sideline, separated by a barrier at the 50-yard line.
  • The bowl is one of only two bowl games this year without a title sponsor, the other being The Texas Bowl.
The Cause
  • The Bowl will donate one meal for every ticket sold to the game!
  • The Bowl has donated over 300,000 meals in three years to the Bay Area's hungry.
  • During Bowl Week, each team spent time giving back to the Bay Area. This year, Washington visited GLIDE, and BYU visited St. Anthony's. Both teams worked to prep and serve meals to San Francisco's needy on Christmas Day. By volunteering, the players not only help the Bay Area hunger crisis, but they also gain awareness and a new perspective. We hope the players are inspired to continue to give back to their own communities.
Donations can be made year round to these charities.
University of Washington Huskies
Bowl Record: 16-16-1
Season Bowl Opponent Score W/L
1923 Rose Bowl Navy 14-14 T
1925 Rose Bowl Alabama 19-20 L
1936 Rose Bowl Pittsburgh 0-21 L
1937 Poi Bowl Hawaii 53-13 W
1943 Rose Bowl USC 0-29 L
1959 Rose Bowl Wisconsin 44-8 W
1960 Rose Bowl Minnesota 17-7 W
1963 Rose Bowl Illinois 7-17 L
1977 Rose Bowl Michigan 27-20 W
1979 Sun Bowl Texas 14-7 W
1980 Rose Bowl Michigan 6-23 L
1981 Rose Bowl Iowa 28-0 W
1982 Aloha Bowl Maryland 21-20 W
1983 Aloha Bowl Penn State 10-13 L
1984 Orange Bowl Oklahoma 28-17 W
1985 Freedom Bowl Colorado 20-17 W
1986 Sun Bowl Alabama 6-28 L
1987 Independence Bowl Tulane 24-12 W
1989 Freedom Bowl Florida 34-7 W
1990 Rose Bowl Iowa 46-34 W
1991 Rose Bowl Michigan 34-14 W
1992 Rose Bowl Michigan 31-38 L
1995 Sun Bowl Iowa 18-38 L
1996 Holiday Bowl Colorado 21-33 L
1997 Aloha Bowl Michigan State 51-23 W
1998 Oahu Bowl Air Force 25-45 L
1999 Holiday Bowl Kansas State 20-24 L
2000 Rose Bowl Purdue 34-24 W
2001 Holiday Bowl Texas 43-47 L
2002 Sun Bowl Purdue 34-24 L
2010 Holiday Bowl Nebraska 19-7 W
2011 Alamo Bowl Baylor 56-67 L
2012 Las Vegas Bowl Boise State 26-28 L
2013 Fight Hunger Bowl BYU ? ?
Washington Bowl Game Posters, Programs, and Images Album
Historic Bowl Games:
1992 Rose Bowl - Washington 34 Michigan 14
Washington came into Pasadena at 10-0, and with the #1 ranking in the Coach’s Poll. The Huskies got off to a blistering start, as Napoleon Kauffman took the opening kick back to midfield. However, the game was broken open in the second half, which started with the score at 13-7. The Huskies would score 21 unanswered points on the arms of Billy Joe Hobert and Mark Brunell before allowing a touchdown late in the fourth quarter. This game solidified the University of Washington’s most recent National Championship.
2010 Holiday Bowl - Washington 19 Nebraska 7
Having not played in a bowl game since 2002, and with the stigma of the winless 2008 season still fresh, the Huskies beat Washington State in the 2010 Apple Cup to become bowl-eligible. The Huskies had also been beaten demolished by the Huskers at home earlier that season, so the Holiday Bowl was a chance at redemption. Led by Jake Locker’s gutty performance in his last game as a Husky, the Dawgs played a tough, physical game that included rushing TDs from Locker and Chris Polk. Linebacker Mason Foster had a standout performance as well, knocking embattled Husker QB Taylor Martinez out of the game. Washington’s win set the program on the correct course in many Husky fans’ minds, and the Huskies have gone bowling in each season since.
2013 Season Record: 8-4
Date Opponent Result Highlights
8/31 Boise State W 38-6 Video
9/7 Illinois W 34-24 Video
9/21 Idaho State W 56-0 Video
9/28 Arizona W 31-13 Video
10/5 Stanford L 31-28 Video
10/12 Oregon L 45-24 Video
10/19 Arizona State L 53-24 Video
10/26 California W 41-17 Video
11/9 Colorado W 59-7 Video
11/15 UCLA L 41-31 Video
11/23 Oregon State W 69-27 Video
11/29 Washington State W 27-17 Video
11/29 BYU ? ?
Home Away
Key Players this Season:
Bishop Sankey - Highlights
A second-team All American and Doak Walker Award Finalist, Bishop Sankey has had arguably the best season for a tailback in Washington history. Breaking Napoleon Kaufman’s single-season rushing touchdown record as well as Corey Dillon’s single-season rushing yards record, Sankey is a well-rounded feature-back. Most believe that Sankey will forgo his senior year at the UW and enter the NFL draft, making the Fight Hunger Bowl his last game in a Husky uniform.
Keith Price - Highlights
In a pass-heavy conference, Keith Price’s numbers got buried this season due to Washington’s reliance on Sankey and the run game. However, don’t let his lack of yardage fool you for a lack of production. Price threw the second fewest interceptions, and had the second highest QBR in the Pac-12 this season. Price is an efficient passer, and has some mobility to escape the pocket.
Austin Seferian-Jenkins - Highlights
Austin Seferian-Jenkins is the winner of the 2013 Mackey Award, honoring the nation’s best tight end. ASJ is an elite-caliber blocker, with ball-skills that are unmatched at his position. At 6’ 6”, 275 lbs., Austin has a size advantage on almost everyone on the field. His pass-catching ability coupled with his size and blocking skill have many projecting Seferian-Jenkins as a next-level tight end.
Biggest Plays this Season:
Great throw by Price to Perkins vs Boise St.
Coming in to the Boise St. game, people weren’t sure if Keith Price would be back to his 2011 form. In front of a packed house at Husky Stadium, Keith made his case and put on a showtime performance highlighted by this amazing scrambling TD pass to put Huskies up by 18 and further seal the victory.
John Ross great kickoff return.
John Ross opened the Oregon State game with this great kickoff return, which put momentum in the Huskies favor in one of their most complete wins of the season.
Interception by John Timu to seal the Apple Cup win.
This interception by John Timu prevented WSU QB Conner Halliday from mounting a comeback late in the 4th and sealed the deal for the Huskies, bringing the trophy back to the shores of Montlake.
Season Summary:
Season Review Video
2013 was a bit of a disappointment for Husky fans, who had images of the Rose Bowl dancing in our heads. After starting the season 4-0, the Pac-12 North was within reach with the toughest part of the schedule ahead of us. A controversial and very close loss to Stanford in Palo Alto, followed by a loss to Oregon in Seattle ended that conversation. Then, an absolutely terrible game in Tempe saw the Dawgs give up 53 points to squash any hope of an AP ranking this season. That being said, the Huskies have finally eclipsed the 7-win mark, and look to be an improving program that could challenge for the Pac-12 North Title sooner rather than later.
The Huskies basically won the games they should have won (with the exception of the ASU game) and lost the games that they came into as underdogs to finish the regular season at 8-4. A high point of the season was ESPN College Game Day’s visit to campus for the Oregon game, marking CGD’s first trip to the state of Washington. Other high-points were the opening of the newly remodeled Husky Stadium in a 38-6 victory over Boise State, a 69-27 blowout of Oregon State, and an Apple Cup win to end the regular season. Low points included the aforementioned loss in Tempe to ASU, Myles Jack’s dominant performance against the Huskies in Pasadena, and the 10th straight loss to Oregon.
The break between the Apple Cup has seen Husky Head Coach Steve Sarkisian take the HC job at USC. The Huskies replaced Sark with Chris Petersen, formerly of Boise State. Coach Petersen brings one of the best all-time FBS records to Montlake, as well as two Bear Bryant Coach of the Year awards from his time at Boise. Though Coach Petersen will not coach the Huskies in the Fight Hunger Bowl, he will be in attendance, and has observed some of Washington’s bowl practices.
Why we are going to win:
The Huskies will be coached by former Washington Quarterback, and 2013 QB coach Marques Tuiasosopo. Coach Tui, as he is affectionately known by the team, is a motivator. Despite his lack of experience, he’ll know how to get the team fired up to achieve a 9-win season for the first time since 2000. The Husky offense is powered by one of the top-3 running backs in the country in Bishop Sankey, as well as an ample stable of receivers and a senior quarterback. The Husky Defense vastly improved this season under Justin Wilcox, and Shaq Thompson and Danny Shelton will be hungry to cancel the Cougars’ running game.
It’s Tui’s Time
Brigham Young University Cougars
Bowl Record: 13-17-1
Season Bowl Opponent Score W/L
1974 Fiesta Bowl Oklahoma State 6-16 L
1976 Tangerine Bowl Oklahoma State 21-49 L
1978 Holiday Bowl Navy 16-23 L
1979 Holiday Bowl Indiana 37-38 L
1980 Holiday Bowl SMU 46-45 W
1981 Holiday Bowl Washington State 38-36 W
1982 Holiday Bowl Ohio State 17-47 L
1983 Holiday Bowl Missouri 21-17 W
1984 Holiday Bowl Michigan 24-17 W
1985 Citrus Bowl Ohio State 7-10 L
1986 Freedom Bowl UCLA 10-31 L
1987 All-American Bowl Virginia 16-22 L
1988 Freedom Bowl Colorado 20-17 W
1989 Holiday Bowl Penn State 39-59 L
1990 Holiday Bowl Texas A&M 14-65 L
1991 Holiday Bowl Iowa 13-13 T
1992 Aloha Bowl Kansas 20-23 L
1993 Holiday Bowl Ohio State 21-28 L
1994 Copper Bowl Oklahoma 31-16 W
1996 Cotton Bowl Kansas State 19-15 W
1998 Liberty Bowl Tulane 27-41 L
1999 Motor City Bowl Marshall 3-21 L
2001 Liberty Bowl Louisville 10-28 L
2005 Las Vegas Bowl California 28-35 L
2006 Las Vegas Bowl Oregon 38-8 W
2007 Las Vegas Bowl UCLA 17-16 W
2008 Las Begas Bowl Arizona 21-31 L
2009 Las Begas Bowl Oregon State 44-20 W
2010 New Mexico Bowl UTEP 52-24 W
2011 Armed Forces Bowl Tulsa 24-21 W
2012 Poinsettia Bowl San Diego State 23-6 W
2013 Fight Hunger Bowl Washington ? ?
Historic Bowl Games:
1980 Holiday Bowl - the ‘Miracle Bowl’. BYU came back against SMU in one of the greatest comebacks in NCAA history. With just four minutes left in the game, SMU took a commanding 42-25 lead, and many BYU fans had begun to exit the stadium. Jim McMahon led a furious comeback and scored 3 touchdowns to win the game 46-45. Some believe this was the hardest scenario to complete in the NCAA Football challenges. Full game
1984 Holiday Bowl - BYU entered the ‘84 Holiday Bowl as the #1 team in the nation. Due to the lack of prestige of the Holiday Bowl, many top teams refused to play BYU in the bowl. Eventually the Michigan Wolverines agreed to play, and BYU would win 24-17 to secure their 1st National Title. Full Game
2013 Season Record: 8-4
Date Opponent Result Highlights
8/31 Virginia L 19-16 Video
9/7 Texas W 40-21 Video
9/21 Utah L 20-13 Video
9/27 Middle Tennessee W 37-10 Video
9/4 Utah State W 31-14 Video
10/12 Georgia Tech W 38-14 Video
10/29 Houston W 47-46 Video
10/25 Boise State W 37-20 Video
11/9 Wisconsin L 27-17 Video
10/16 Idaho State W 59-13 Video
11/23 Notre Dame L 23-13 Video
11/30 Nevada W 28-23 Video
11/29 Washington ? ?
Home Away
Key Players this Season:
Taysom Hill: Our Idaho country boy started the season with ridiculously high expectations. BYU fans have been extremely spoiled in our QB recruits, however, Quarterback U has not boasted much passing greatness in the last couple of years. Hill, a Stanford transfer, showed great promise in 2012 but an ACL injury sidelined him after starting only one game. In 2013, his scrambling ability and speed have carried the offense, though many of us are anxious for him to learn better pocket presence and accuracy in the years to come.
Jamaal Williams: If Hill is a little bit country, Williams is a little bit rock n’ roll. The Hill-Williams running duo has not only resulted in a top 10 rushing offense, but an offensive style BYU fans have never seen in Provo. While Hill finished the regular season with 1,211 rushing yards, Williams was just 9 yards behind him (that’s 1,211-9 = 1,202 yards for you Utah fans). As an 18 year-old Sophomore, we expect great things from Williams for at least one more season.
Cody Hoffman: At 6’4”, 210 lb, Hoffman and his sticky fingers have been a consistent go-to target for 3rd downs and other big plays. Though considered to be an NFL prospect after last year, he surprised us all when choosing to return for his Senior season. As a result, he has broken every major receiving record at BYU, including career receptions (passing Dennis Pitta), career receiving TDs (passing Austin Collie) and career receiving yards (passing Austin Collie). This feat has been doubly impressive when considering that his passes have been coming from 3 of BYU’s most inefficient QBs in history.
Biggest Plays this Season:
Beautiful catch by Cody Hoffman in Georgia Tech win.
Taysom Hill TD pass to Skyler Ridley to beat our Cougar bros in Houston.
That whole Texas game was pretty sweet.
Season Summary:
BYU fans were revelling in the Independent status entering the 2013 season. AD Tom Holmoe and staff had put together one of the toughest schedules in school history and had the team travelling to all parts of the country to compete. With Williams, Hoffman, and a healthy Hill returning with NFL prospect Kyle Van Noy, expectations were high. Bronco Mendenhall also hired on several new coaches, including OC Robert Anae. Anae had coached at BYU previously, but this time he returned with new ideas. He implemented a fast-paced offensive scheme which targeted running 100 plays a game.
The offense took a few weeks to gel and was still working out the kinks against opening opponent Virginia. BYU gained national recognition with a 40-21 thumping of Texas in Provo, but they followed that up with a pathetic showing against in-state rival, Utah. After starting the season 1-2, BYU then won 5 in a row! With win #6 they immediately accepted a bid to the Fight Hunger Bowl. Some (delusional) fans thought this was a tad early, claiming we could still make a push for the BCS. This talk was squashed, however, with the very next game in Madison, WI. The badgers gained a respect for Hill and the BYU defense, but ultimately defeated the cougars handily: 27-17. BYU finished the season going 2-1, with their fourth loss coming in the November “Independence Bowl” in South Bend.
Overall, 8 wins on a tough schedule is an excellent season. BYU is one of only 3 schools that won 6 games versus opponents with winning records this year (tOSU and Missouri being the other two). They did not lose any game by more than 10 points, which kept each game exciting until the end. I expect the same for the Fight Hunger Bowl.
Why we are going to win:
I’m a little concerned that UW’s best player is named Bishop. No good Mormon boy is going to tackle a Bishop. However, this is BYU’s 9th straight season going to a bowl game. They have won 6 of their last 8 and their last 4 in a row. HC Bronco Mendenhall knows how to prepare for these games and as DC, always has a defense that will keep BYU close. With 4 weeks of practice since last playing in Reno, Hill and the offense have had time to work out the kinks. Here’s to hoping Hoffman and Van Noy can finish their BYU careers with a bang.
Related Subreddits: /byu, /huskies, /pac12
Contributors: warox13, jkfunk, Nebrasskicker, MustSeeReason
For more info on the 35 Bowls Project, go here.
submitted by NEBRASSKICKER to CFB [link] [comments]


2013.08.27 15:29 FarwellRob 132+ Teams in 132+ Days: Texas A&M Aggies

The Fighting Texas Aggies of Texas A&M
SEC
"Howdy. I've got a little story for ya, Ags!" Traditional start to Midnight Yell.
Year Founded: 1876, the first public institution of higher education in Texas.
Location: College Station, Texas
Total Attendance: 53,337, with roughtly 40,000 being undergrads.
Live Mascot: The first Reveille came to Texas A&M in January 1931.
A group of cadets hit a small black and white dog on their way back from Navasota. They picked up the dog and brought her back to school so they could care for her. The next morning, when the bugler woke the students with the song "Reveille", the dog started barking. She was named after this morning wakeup call.
The following football season she was named the official mascot when she led the band onto the field during their half-time performance. When Reveille I died on January 18, 1944, she was given a formal military funeral on the gridiron of Kyle Field. She was then buried at the north entrance to the field, as all Reveilles are, facing the scoreboard so that she can always watch the Aggies outscore their opponent.
Reveille I, mut.
Rev II, a Shetland Sheepdog.
Rev VII, a Rough Collie, was aparently quite the player
Rev VIII, the current Rev, hanging out with Obama
When she dies, there is a special cemetery located outside the north endzone of Kyle Field that features it's own scoreboard so the Rev's can always keep up with the team.
Cheerleaders:
Why put the prettiest girls in school out on the track?
We choose to hang out with them in the stands.
In exchange we have Yell Leaders. (See Traditions for more info)
Stadium: Kyle Field and get ready, we're about to spend half a billion making Kyle much bigger.
Kyle Field is named after Edwin Kyle, an 1899 graduate of the school and a professor of Horticulture. At the time, the school didn't want to give money for a football field, so Prof Kyle fenced a part of his fields used for agriculture.
Using $650 of his own money, he purchased a covered grandstand and built wooden bleachers. The seating capacity was 500 people.
Kyle Field is currently the 13th largest football-only stadium in the NCAA, and next year the stadium should hold 109,000 and then we'll come back down to 102,500 to settle as the largest stadium in the SEC.
Football games have been played at the same location since 1904, and it was designated a football field in 1905. Permanent stadium construction began in 1927.
Stadium Location: Construction began last Monday on campus across from the Memorial Student Center.
• Texas A&M is the 18th all-time winningest program in Division 1 with 691 wins.
Georgia Tech and Virginia Tech are both within 4 wins, so moving up on the list might happen in the near future.
Conference Champions (18): 1917, '19, '21, '25, '27, '39, '40, '41, '56, '67, '75, '85, 86, '87, '91, '92, '93, '98. Second most conference championships of the SWC.
Number of Bowl Games: (34) 15-19.
National Titles (3ish): 1939 AP National Champs; 1919 - undefeated, unscored on, 275-0 for the season; 1927 - Sagarin gave us a retroactive MNC on this one. We don't really claim it, either.
Rivals
Texas - While currently inactive, this is still the 3rd most played rivalry in CFB at 118 games played. Texas leads the series, but here is a little history to help keep perspective.
Until the late 1960's, A&M faced the most difficult recruiting impediment in CFB. We were all-male and all-military. The service academies were seen as being 'more legitimate' than A&M, and Texas, being co-ed without restrictions pulled in a lot more talent over the years, as you can imagine. It's quite amazing that A&M won at all, much less having come in 2nd in conference championships during that time.
In 1975, the Aggies finished the season in the Top 25 for the first time since opening up the campus, and in an epic win over Texas made the series dramatically more even. Since 1975, the Aggies lead the series 19-18 over the Longhorns.
Texas Tech - Mostly ignored by the Aggies during the SWC, it became heated when Mike Leach set his sights on A&M. Aggies lead the series 37-32-1.
Baylor - This rivalry was over-heated during the early days. Play was suspended for years after an A&M student was killed at a game in Waco, and other Aggies threatened to load up military gear and invade Waco.
Under Coach Fran, the Aggies gave Baylor their first conference win in the Big12. Aggies lead the series 68-31-9.
LSU - The Aggies have played the Tigers off-and-on since 1899, and with bordering states, shared recruiting territories, and starting next year, a Thanksgiving game, this series looks to be heating up quite nicely.
The Aggies are 7-2-1 at Kyle Field and 10-22-1 in Baton Rouge. Overall, the Tigers lead 28-20-3.
2013 Season
The Aggie faithful are excited. We've got a lot of returning talent, and coaches that proved their worth last season in the SEC. Plus our schedule is very nice ... you know, as far as SEC schedules featuring Alabama can be nice.
8/31 - Rice
9/7 - Sam Houston State
9/14 - Alabama
9/21 - SMU
9-28 - at Arkansas
10-12 - at Ole Miss
10-19 - Auburn
10-26 - Vanderbilt
11-2 - UTEP
11-9 - Mississippi State
11-23 - at LSU
11-30 - at Mizzou
The Greats
Greatest Games:
2012 Cotton Bowl. What? Not the Alabama game? After a turbulent transition from the Big12 to the SEC, beating the Big12 co-champion was the greatest way (outside of playing beating Texas) to cap off our move to the SEC. Beating Alabama in their house was nice, but Oklahoma was retribution for the Fran and Sherman years.
• 2002 - Aggies knock off #1 Oklahoma with new offensive coordinator Kevin Sumlin calling the shots.
• 1998 – A&M hands #3 Nebraska their first loss in almost 2 full years, then knocks off #2 Kansas State in the CCG.
• 1990 – - BYU's Heisman Trophy winner, Ty Detmer, has both shoulders separated against the Aggies in the Holiday Bowl. Warning, the first half of the footage is brutal.
Bo knows the Aggies. - - Auburn faced the Aggies in '86 in the Cotton Bowl after Bo Jackson won the Heisman. Watch at 3:20 when Bo gets three shots in a row at scoring from inside the 5 and walks off the field with a big bag of nothing.
• 1975 - You didn't think we'd go without a UT game here, did you? The 1975 season was the first season that A&M ended the year with a top 25 ranking, after going co-ed and ROTC-optional.
It also featured the highest ranked A&M and UT teams to ever play. The #2 Aggies knocked off Earl Campbell and the #5 Horns ushering in a new era of Aggie football.
• Honorable Mention: The '99 "Bonfire Game" against Texas. That was the last year A&M held bonfire on campus, as tragedy struck. 11 students and one former former student lost their lives in the accident leading up to the game against Texas.
In all my years at A&M, and in all the years following the team, I've only seen two visiting bands receive standing ovations from the Aggie fans. One was Rice's MOB back in the Southwest Conference days, and the other was the Longhorn band on that afternoon.
We were all Texans and friends that day, and not rivals.
• In case you want a solid history of our program, here are two fantastic videos of A&M football history, each about 12 minutes long:
Texas A&M history from 1894 to 1971
1971 through the end of the Big12.
Greatest Plays:
Aggies beat Texas in '88. Texas QB Brett Stafford tries to quiet the Aggie crowd, and it ends poorly.
• Quentin Coryatt lays down The Hit against . The recever's jaw is broken in three places.
Sirr Parker wraps up double OT and drives a nail into the heart of #2 Kansas State and ends Bill Snyder's best chance to get into a National Championship game.
Greatest Players:
College Hall of Fame players: Ray Childress, DT; Dave Elmendorf, S; Joel Hunt, QB; John Kimbrough, FB; Charlie Krueger, T; Jack Pardee, FB; Joe Routt, G; Gene Stallings, DB; Joe Utay, HB.
Heisman Winners: John David Crow and Johnny Manziel.
Honorable mention:
Bucky Richardson, local hero and QB.
Dat Nguyen, LB, Lombardi Award, Chuck Bednarik Award.
Shane Lechler, starter at punter and kicker, on the depth chart for linebacker and was the backup QB in '98, and currently has a Hall of Fame worthy NFL career is still going.
Luke Joeckel, Outland Award.
Randy Bullock, Lou Groza winner.
Von Miller, Butkus Award.
• A&M has had 22 Consessus All-Americans:
Sam Adams, DE; Marcus Buckley, LB; Randy Bullock, PK; Ray Childress, DT; John David Crow, RB; Dave Elmendorf, FS; Tony Franklin, PK; Aaron Glenn, DB; Johnny Holland, LB; Robert Jackson, LB; Luke Joeckel, OT; Darren Lewis, RB; Johnny Manziel, QB; Von Miller, DE/LB; Damontre Moore, DE; Dat Nguyen, LB; Marshall Robnett, OG; Joe Routt, OG; Ed Simonini, LB; Pat Thomas, CB, and John Kimbrough, RB was named consensus All-American in both '39 and '40.
Aggies in the NFL as of July 25:
Ben Bass, DE, Dallas Cowboys
Martellus Bennett, TE, Chicago Bears
Michael Bennett, DT, Seattle Seahawks
Red Bryant, DT, Seattle Seahawks
Randy Bullock, K, Houston Texans
Terrence Frederick, DB, New York Giants
Jeff Fuller, WR, Miami Dolphins
Cyrus Gray, RB, Kansas City Chiefs
Mike Goodson, RB, New York Jets
Danny Gorrer, CB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Geoff Hangartner, C, Carolina Panthers
Tony Jerod-Eddie, DE, San Francisco 49ers
Luke Joeckel, T, Jacksonville Jaguars
Johnny Jolly, DT, Green Bay Packers
Jorvorskie Lane, RB, Miami Dolphins
Shane Lechler, P, Houston Texans
Kevin Matthews, C, Washington Redskins
Jamie McCoy, TE, Pittsburgh Steelers
Stephen McGee, QB, Houston Texans
Christine Michael, RB, Seattle Seahawks
Von Miller, OLB, Denver Broncos
Damontre Moore, DL, New York Giants
Don Muhlbach, LS, Detroit Lions
Spencer Nealy, DL, Minnesota Vikings
Uzoma Nwachukwu, WR, Houston Texans
Sean Porter, OLB, Cincinnati Bengals
Jordan Pugh, S, Washington Redskins
Lionel Smith, DB, Jacksonville Jaguars
Jonathan Stewart, LB, St. Louis Rams
Ryan Tannehill, QB, Miami Dolphins
Steven Terrell, DB, Jacksonville Jaguars
Brian Thomas, OL, Miami Dolphins
Cody Wallace, C, Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Greatest Coaches:
'Uncle Charlie' Moran ('09-'14) - coached Jim Thorpe in high school. Went 38-8-4 at A&M, and left to go to Centre College. He racked up a 42-6-1 record and a MNC there. He was also coaching Centre against A&M when the Aggie 12th Man tradition began.
Also was a National League umpire in 4 world series.
Dana X. Bible - Inducted into the College Hall of Fame in '51. Invented the T-formation. Led A&M to two undefeated, unscored on seasons.
Took a year off coaching to be a pilot during WWI.
Came back and coached the Aggies to a SWC conference championship in football, basketball and baseball in the same season. Left to go to Texas where he won 3 SWC championships and finished in the AP Poll 5 times in 10 years.
• Other coaches deserving credit: Hall of Fame coaches and their year of induction that were head coach at A&M include - Matty Bell, '55; Bear Bryant, '86; Homer Norton, '71; Gene Stallings, 2010; R.C. Slocum, 2012.
Former Aggie players who are current coaches:
Dennis Allen, head coach, Oakland Raiders
Gary Kubiak, head coach, Houston Texans
Dan Campbell, tight ends, Miami Dolphins
Kyle Caskey, offensive QC Cincinnati Bengals
Jerry Fontenot, assistant offensive line coach, Green Bay Packers
Kirk Parrirsh, college scouting coordinator, Seattle Seahawks
Shawn Slocum, special teams coordinator, Green Bay Packers.
Traditions
I've included both a short version and a link to some of our most interesting traditions. I know I've skipped more than a few, but this is a good start.
Yell Leaders – A&M was an all-male school, but often times girls from a local women's college would get bussed in. Some seniors thought it would be funny to haze the freshmen in front of the women.
So they made a group of freshmen put on janitor's clothing and stand out on the track and be stupid.
But after the game something amazing happened. Those freshmen all had no problems getting dates.
The next week it was Seniors out there with the overalls on.
100 years later, and it's two juniors and three seniors. Each year there is a campus-wide election, and Yell Leader vote is dramatically more important to the average student than class president or any of the other boring votes.
Why do we keep the Yell Leaders instead of switching to cheerleaders? When a 'cheer leader' does a cheer of more than 4 sylables, guys gawk at them and girls ignore them. When a Yell Leader leads a yell, any yell, 30,000+ fans raise their voices to chant along.
The Yells - There are a bunch of them, and if you go to any Aggie Yell Practice or game, you'll most likely hear all of 'em. In order to do a yell correctly, you have to 'hump it.' See below.
• [The Spirit and the War Hymn] - Other schools have a school song and a fight song. The Aggies have The Spirit of Aggie Land and The War Hymn
There has been much controversy at ESPN and newspapers outside of Texas A&M over the lyrics of both songs.
The ending of the Spirit has been officially changed from "We are the Aggies / the Aggies are we / We're from Texas AMC" to "We are the Aggies / the Aggies so true / We're from Texas AMU" to designate that we are no longer Texas A&M college.
The media has also called for A&M to change the War Hymn as Texas is no longer playing us in any sport.
Lyrics feature, "'the eyes of Texas are upon you' / That is the song they sing so well / Sounds Like Hell / So good bye to Texas University / We're gonna beat you all to ...
After which is the most striking part of the Hymn, when fans put their arms around the people next to them and 'saw' while singing "Saw Varsity's horns off" and "Varsity's horns are sawed off."
This is, of course, in reference to the Texas mascot that was known simply as Varsity before they changed it to Bevo.
As for the "controversy", all Aggies have completely ignored it and we are unanamous in sticking with our traditional songs.
Gig 'em - Rather than end a conversation with "goodbye", many conversations between Aggies end with "gig 'em", usually accompanied by a thumbs up. This tradition began at a 1930 Midnight Yell Practice held before the football game against .
In an attempt to excite the crowd, Pinky Downs, a 1906 Texas A&M graduate and member of the school's Board of Regents, asked "What are we going to do to those Horned Frogs?" Using a term for frog hunting, he answered his own question, "Gig 'em, Aggies!"
For emphasis, he made a fist with the thumb extended. The phrase and hand signal proved popular, and it became the first hand sign of the Southwest Conference. All 12 schools evenutally adopted hand signs of their own.
The 12th Manhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12th_Man_(football) - A&M is playing Centre College, one of the most dominant programs of the era. So many Aggies are injured that a former player, E. King Gill, is called out of the stands.
Gill jumped into an injured player's jersey and stood ready to help the team if they needed him. Now all 30,000 plus students stand ready through every game to go help the Aggies if the coach calls.
Midnight Yell - Where else would you want to be at midnight on Friday before a game but with 30,000 fans hanging out at the stadium. For road games we normally find a bar to crash with the travelling fans.
Aggies go through all the yells, and listen to very well thought out stories and anectdotes by the Yell Leaders decipher the somewhat humerous jokes made by the (we're almost positive) not drunk Yell Leaders.
This is open to any one, including fans of opposing schools and curious onlookers ... unless you force us to block you out.
Hump it - Look again at the picture for Midnight Yell. Those fans are all leaning over with their hands on their knees in the middle of a yell. Why? Because you can yell louder when you lean over.
Aggies Hump it for all Yells, and during crunch time, you'll see plenty of Aggies in the stands humping it while screaming.
Howdy - The traditional way to start every speech to Aggies. If you say Howdy, normally the crowd will respond with "Howdy" back to you. You will also hear the word Howdy more times per day on our campus than anywhere else in the world. It's our greeting and we use it. A lot.
Parson's Mounted Calvalry and the Spirit of '02 - a 1902 Howitzer that we fire off on kickoffs and scores at football games. We found it in a ravine while chopping wood for Bonfire. You never let good military hardware go to waste.
Corps of Cadets - Once mandatory at A&M, the Corps is much smaller than it was back in the 60s. During WWII, A&M put more servicemen into the armed forces than any other school, including West Point.
A&M still produces more officers than any university, except for the service academies. 42% of Corps members receive a commission in the US Armed Forces.
The Fighting Texas Aggie Band. - Texas A&M features a military style marching band. They are fantastic. Especially if you are used to the standard 'show bands' that everyone has. Click the link and see some of their performances.
The FTAB is part of the the Corps. I doubt there is an Aggie who graduated in the last 40 years that doesn't get a chill when they hear, "Now forming at the North end of Kyle Field ... "
Remember the part of the 12th Man tradition where I said the students stand for the whole football game? They stand for the FTAB, too. Even when the temperature is well above 100 degrees, the Aggie students will stay standing for everything except the opposing team's band.
Century Tree- Want to propose on campus? We've got a tree for that. All Aggies grab a kiss under this tree at some point in their time at A&M.
Elephant Walk - Elephant Walk marks the end of the usefulness of the Aggie seniors to the student body. Like dying elephants, which wander the jungle looking for a place to die after their value to the herd is over, thousands of seniors will join hands and wander aimlessly about campus visiting landmarks for the symbolic "last time."
This happens after the last home football game becaues the other sports don't matter.
Reveille - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reveille_(dog) - She really is the highest ranking member of the Corps of Cadets.
She goes to classes with Corps members, where if she barks, you stand a good chance of the prof cancelling the class for the day.
She has her own bed, and the right to take over the bed of any Corps member on campus.
The grass at the MSC. The Memorial Student Center building and the grounds around it is a tribute to our servicemen around the world. If you are in the MSC, you are asked to take off your hat, and if you are around the MSC, you are asked to not stand on the grass.
The MSC also features the Medals of Honor won by seven former students.
Aggie ring - Many schools have rings, but for Aggies this it the most visible way for graduates of Texas A&M to recognize each other. The Aggie Ring is worn by current and former students, and may be used to distinguish seniors from other students on campus.
The first Aggie Ring was designed by E. C. Jonas in 1894, and the design has remained relatively unchanged since; the only major change came when the school's name was changed from the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas to Texas A&M University in 1963.
Ring dunking - After receiving your Aggie Ring, you aren't really entitled to wear it until you've dunked it, normally in a pitcher of beer. From the time you put it in, your friends will time how long it takes to get it out, so you get to chug beer and try to catch the ring in your teeth.
As a member of the Class of '97, I had 97 seconds to get it out. Kids these days are pushing 113 seconds. Way too easy.
I've seen people 'dunk' their rings in a super sized banana splits and drink them out of non-alcoholic drinks, and I've seen them drain a pitcher in under 15 seconds. My wife ('99) and I both finished ours in under a minute and a half. It was nerve wracking, but well worth it. We still have the pitchers.
Bonfire - I was kind of hoping that someone else would write this section. I helped build three bonfire's at A&M and there is nothing like it. Thousands of students going out into the woods, doing heavy labor and realizing the rewards right before the Texas game.
It fostered huge competitions between the residents halls over the 3-4 months of work. It brought out tens of thousands of folks before the big rivalry game. It was simply epic, and I miss it a lot.
My freshman year, the BCS Eagle, the local paper, estimated the crowd at over 100,000 people. The next year when the game was held in Austin, there were still over 60,000 people at Bonfire on A&M's campus.
The tradegy that ended bonfire was impossibly awful. As a person who had climbed the stacks for years, I know how and why things went wrong, but I'll never understand it. It should not have happened, and my heart goes out to the families who lost loved ones.
Wrecking Crew – Once the name of the highly respected and feared Aggie defense, Coach Fran removed the monicar and told the team to 'win it back.' What he forgot to do was teach them to play defense. As the defense gets better the name comes out more often, and soon the Aggie D will leave the field to chants of Wrecking Crew again.
Aggie Terminology Yes, we have a glossary of terms that every Aggie knows and uses on a pretty regular basis. Except for the 'two percenters'. Have you ever heard an Aggie 'Whoop'? That's a privilege held for only the juniors, seniors and graduates. Catch a 'Fish' 'Pulling Out' and you can make them 'Push'. (for explinations, read the terms in the links)
Fish Pond - When the Aggies win a home football game, the freshmen in the Corps of Cadets chase the Yell Leaders around Kyle Field, and, once they are captured, carry them across campus and toss them into Fish Pond, a fountain full of very cold water. And yes, in '93 it snowed during the Texas game and the Yell Leaders were still given a nice bath after the win. The freshmen dunking is what gives 'Fish Pond' it's name, as no fish live in the water.
Fish Drill Team - The award winning drill team can often be found practicing in the Quad by the Corps dorms. The team was featured during the opening credits to A Few Good Men, linked here. They are pretty amazing to watch.
Fish Camp - The summer before a students' freshman year, the 'Fish' are invited to a 4 day camp in Palestine, Texas where they learn the Aggie Tradtions and Yells.
Fish Camp features over 900 counselors, if that give you an idea of how big it is.
Texas A&M has a pair of extraordinary traditions. I've tried to capture the spirit, but I'd invite each of you to join with us any time to see these live.
Silver Taps - On the first Tuesday of any month, if an undergrad or graduate student has passed away, there will be a small card with the deceased students name, class, major, and date of birth placed on the statue of Lawrence Sullivan Ross in the Academic Plaza.
That night, lights are turned off all over campus, and at 10:15, students and family members will gather silently around the statue. Shortly there after, the Ross Volunteers will march in, stand at attention, then fire three rifle volleys, breaking the silence.
Then Silver Taps, a special version of Taps, is played three times from the top of the Academic Building ... once to the north, south, and west. It is not played to the east to signify that sun will never rise on that Aggie again. After the buglers play, the students silently return to their homes.
I can not properly put into words how striking this ceremony is.
My freshman year, as Silver Taps slowely faded away, the silence was broken by a mother who had cried quietly during the ceremony. She softly said, "Thank you" in the darkness to the faceless people gathered, in a voice wracked with tears, and I doubt any of us left with dry eyes.
Muster - Muster is the tradition that forever unites the Aggies past with Aggies present. It is Texas A&M's most solemn and most visible tradition.
Muster was first held on June 26, 1883, and it's been held on San Jacinto Day, April 21st, since 1903. This is a day where former students of Texas A&M gathered together to '... live over again our college days, the victories and defeats won and lost upon drill ground and classroom. Let every alumnus answer a roll call.'
No matter where Aggies are, whether it is two or three, or the thousands who gather on the Texas A&M campus, they find other Aggies to celebrate the day. Each year there are 300-400 musters held around the world.
And it is a celebration. While the ceremony is moving and reminds you of the lives lost, the day full of activities, including a 50 year reunion spot light, Camaraderie Barbecue, and campus tours shows off the life of the students, current and past.
At each Muster ceremony a speaker will be followed by the 'Roll Call For The Absent.' Names of those from that area who have died in the past year will be read, and as each name is called, a family member or friend will answer 'Here' to show that Aggie is present in spirit, and a candle will be lit.
Following the candle-lighting ceremony in Reed Arena, a rifle volley is fired and then Silver Taps is played.
During World War II, Aggies and other servicemen held Muster at Corregidor, the last American stronghold in the Pacific before the island was overrun by the Japanese. Only 12 Aggies survived the battle, the death march and ensuing POW camps.
Campus and Surrounding Area
The campus of Texas A&M University, also known as Aggieland, is situated in College Station, Texas. Aggieland is centrally located within 200 miles of three of the 10 largest cities in the United States and 75% of the Texas and Louisiana populations.
Bryan-College Station area population: 228,660
City Skyline and other places
Iconic Campus Building:
Kyle Field dominates the 5,200 acre campus, but some other building include:
The Systems Building welcomes visitors to our campus
Rudder Tower named after James Earl Rudder who led one of the most daring raids in the Normandy Invasion during WWII scaling a 100 foot cliff under enemy fire to destroy German gun batteries. He was also the 16th President of Texas A&M.
George Bush Presidential Library - Former President George Bush, the older one, has his presidential library on campus. It features tons of history on his presidency and an apartment for him to stay in upstairs when he is visiting.
Which is good, as he makes it to many A&M football games. He even led the team onto Kyle Field once.
The Academic Building stands behind the statue of Lawrence Sullivan Ross who turned down a third term as governor of Texas to be A&M's president. He actively fought for A&M, literally and figuratively. If you need a little luck, drop a penny on his statue.
• The O&M building was once the tallest building between Houston, Dallas and Austin. Many aggies take Astronomy simply so they get to hang out on the top floor.
Sbisa Dining Hall - once the largest dining hall in the world, A&M and Air Force spent much of the last century fighting over the rights to the who's was larger. Sbisa was named after Bernard Sbisa who only missed cooking one meal in 50 years for the Aggies. That breakfast was on Nov. 11, 1911 when the campus burned down, including the mess hall, kitchens and his own home. Lunch that day was served on time.
Local Dining:
If you come to College Station, don't you dare leave before spending some time at Northgate. Since 1930 (8 years before College Station was incorporated) this has been the traditional place for students to relax across the street from campus.
Northgate is College Stations premier bar district located along the Northwest edge of campus across University St. Most places are open until 2am and are open to 18+ with some 21+ exceptions.
Many Texas Country musicians got their start in Northgate, including Aggie legends Robert Earl Keen, Lyle Lovett, Dub Miller, and Roger Creager.
Northgate
Some favorites include:
The Dixie Chicken - The Dixie Chicken, also known as The Chicken, has been "College Station's most famous watering hole since 1974," and is notable for its role in Texas A&M University tradition.
"Nationally known," the Dixie Chicken claims to serve the most beer per square foot of any bar in the United States.
The tradition of Ring Dunking started at the Chicken. If you do visit The Chicken, you should take the opportunity to learn Texas 42. It's essentially spades with dominos and a ton of fun.
Dry Bean Saloon - Shot bar next to The Chicken. Order favorites like the Angry Japanese Minnow Farmer.
The Corne Rooftop - It's been a while since I've been, but this place was always one of the favorites, mostly for the multiple floors, large bars, and rooftop atmosphere/ view.
Logan's - If you're 21+ and don't wants teens around this is one of the few options. Solid bar with giant 36 oz chuggers. Looks like $4 is what they'll cost you now, but I could swear there were nights they were $2.
O'bannon's Taphouse - If you're a beer connoisseur this is your spot. They have over 100 beers on tap, and a beer tour card. Filling with the 100+ beers takes weeks and give you mad street cred. And a drinking problem.
HOOKAH STATION!!! GATSBY'S!!! V-BAR!!! - The places Johnny famously frequents. The scooby doo shots were definitely in one of the latter two.
There are many more, but those will get you started. Watch the door for 5 minutes and you'll be able to tell exactly what kind of crowd frequents each.
Late Night Snacks
Antonio's - Incredibly diverse selection of Pizzas that are pretty perfect around 2am. The line will be out the door and down the street, so get there at 1:30 if you really want some. Worth the wait.
Fuego - Delicious alternative to Taco Cabana that popped up in the last few years. It's pricer, but the quality is head and shoulders above.
Breakfast
Hullabaloo - Diner a ways out east of town down wellborn.
Los Norteños - Downtown Bryan taco place. Tacos better described as burritos they barely fit on the already large plates.
Brunch / Lunch
Layne's - Heard of Raising Cane's? It's that, but with better sauce, actual Texas Toast, and better fries. Plus it's half the price.
Freebirds - Oh my god I wish they had these where I live. Chipotle is dogshit compared to a good bird. I've put back multiple Super Monsters in my time.
Koppe Bridge - Great Burgers. Enough Said.
La Bodega - Shakers and Queso is all you need, but the rest of their food is good too.
Dinner
Cafe Eccel - Across from La Bodega. Solid food if you want to get a little fancier.
Christopher's - Kinda out of the way, but great if you want to get real fancy.
This is in no way an all inclusive list. I have no doubt many more recently in CS Aggies will fill it out further in the comments.
Random Trivia
A&M currently has the most current students attend each game. Season tickets cost $225 for just football, or $350 for all sports. A normal football game will feature 30,000+ students in the stands.
A&M won 79.8% of their games during the 1910's, including two undefeated, unscored on seasons.
Kyle field opened in 1904, making it the SEC's oldest field. After renovations, it will be the largest stadium in the SEC at 102,500 seats. Next year, during construction, it will hold 109,000 fans for the year.
On Nov. 24, 1921 the A&M vs. Texas game was broadcast in real time by morse code. This was the first play-by-play broadcast in history.
There is also plenty of rivalry between A&M and UTx off the field as well.
The opening scene of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is the Aggie football team beating the Longhorns and being rewarded with a visit to the women of the night.
Students that went to A&M for one year, then transferred elsewhere: T. Boone Pickens, Tennessee's General Robert Neyland, and the LA Clippers' DeAndre Jordan.
Lots of famous folks have come from A&M but the head of the list is professor Norman Borlaug. The 'Man who saved a Billion lives' is one of seven people to have won the Nobel Peace Prize, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and the Congressional Gold Medal.
What Is and What is to Come
Here we go with year 2 in the SEC, and the Aggie faithful have a lot to be excited about.
Our schedule has 8 home games, including Alabama at Kyle Field.
On offense, our O-Line should be just as good as last year, if not better, despite losing Outland Trophy winner Luke Joeckel.
We return outstanding tackle Jake Matthews who will move to left tackle, and Cedric Ogbuehi will take right tackle which is his natural position. We also have Mike Matthews (Jake's brother) stepping in at center.
Germain Ifedi and Jarvis Harrison will fill out the guard positions. All of them have a lot of experience from last year.
At running back, we have size, speed, power and blocking. We have hungry backs that want to play. Possibly the most talented backfield in the NCAA this year.
To catch the ball we have tall, strong, fast receivers all over the place. Mike Evans returns after a stunning freshman year. Freshman Ricky Seals-Jones (RSJ) will join Cam Clear to give us a normal receiving package including three receivers over 6'4”. All of them can run, and they might all be lining up on the same side just to screw with defenses.
In a press conference last week, Coach Sumlin said RSJ is 6'5" and 245 lbs. They did a body fat analysis and realized that he is carring the minimum amount of fat the trainers will allow. That's all muscle.
And we have Johnny Manziel. No matter what you think you know about him, the kid can play football.
On defense, we have a lot of new faces, including some true freshmen that should be playing plenty this year. Of course, last year we thought our D would be terrible and it came out plenty okay, so there is hope!
Overtime
Heisie, there isn't enough about me here! WTF?
I'm a statue, Johnny. This is all in your head.
More Information
Subreddit: /Aggies
Contributors: FarwellRob, Thrav, Theyus, laminak
And finally, my thanks to the many good Ags that have helped put this together.
There is a traditional saying at A&M: From the outside looking in, you can't understand it; and from the inside looking out, you can't explain it.
I've done my best to capture A&M and what we feel is special about Aggieland ... but I'm going to bet I've missed a few things.
For more information on the 132 Teams in 132 Days Project, click here.
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2013.07.19 20:41 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: I am Steve Austin, WWE hall of famer and host of CMT’s Redneck Island. Ask me anything!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-07-19
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Who was throwing you all them damn beers!?!? They were god damned spot on every time! Mark yeaton was the guy throwing me all those beers. great arm.
You didn't come off the top rope much. Did you take a bad bump one time or was it just not your thing? Tore my tricep off my elbow jumping off the top rope in japan in about 1994...Figured i better keep my dumb ass on the mat.
Can you please insult me- as if I were a foe of yours? Thanks in advance. I cannot accommodate this request you sorry piece of trash...
Hi Steve! Loved you growing up and now I love your podcast. My only question is... Can I get a Hell ya? OH HELL YEAH!!!
Are you and The Rock friends after those years of the rivalry? Do you guys ever talk? The rock and i will always be friends. text msg here or there.
When you walked from backstage to the ring, i always saw you talking to yourself - what were you saying? it looked like a lot of cursing. Yes. it was. i was extremely energized by the crowd reaction and at my competitive best, i was a laser guided missile that went out to do one thing-ENTERTAIN THE CROWD AND KICK ASS..MAKE PEOPLE GLAD THEY SPENT THEIR MONEY ON A TICKET, GOT THEIR MONEYS WORTH...AND WANTED TO COME BACK NEXT TIME WE WERE IN TOWN TO SEE IT ALL AGAIN. many thanks to all of you for coming to the shows. i had a damn blast. it was a pleasure and an honor to work for you.
Hello Mr. Austin, I asked my cousin if he could ask you one question, what it would be? And he wants to know if you are bald by choice? Feel free to not answer this though. Yes. i chose to shave my head because i was losing my hair.
How many whole chickens do you eat in a month? A friend of mine in Vancouver who worked at Urban Fare said you would come in all the time and order 6 whole chickens every time. Your podcast is wonderful by the way. Damn. i eat so much chicken, im surprised i haven't grown feathers yet.
How common were concussions pre-Benoit? I know the WWE has cracked down on blows to the head and I wondered about the difference before and after the regulations were put in place. Was wrestling with a concussion unavoidable considering the quick turn around from one show/ event to the next? I probably have had only one or two concussions my entire career. too many concussions to me, means you were doing something drastically wrong.(no hands on a chair shot)
Stone Cold, sir, thanks for doing this AMA from a lifelong fan. When that glass shattered and your music hit, it resulted in some of the biggest pops I’ve ever heard from a WWE crowd. How do you describe the feeling when that many people are screaming and cheering for you? Cant really describe it other than pure power. its an insane feeling. pure adrenalin.
Mick Foley did an AMA and said you were top 3 all time in terms of popularity, you like that dude? Mick and i are good friends and old travel partners. Mick is one of the only guys in the business that was cheaper than myself. trying to get him on the steve austin show.
What's the biggest fish you've ever caught? 32 foot great white shark with a cane pole.
How much did jim ross mean to your career? Jim Ross is a close personal friend who helped me through some hard times and gave great advice when i needed it. I dont know that i would have had the career i had without his help. Not many people walking around on planet Earth know the business like Jim. I truly value his and Jans friendship.
What is your opinion of the current status of the WHAT chant? I cant believe the WHAT chants are still around. some people hate it. some people love it. go figure. WHAT!?
I realize this comment will make me feel like a 9 tailed cat in a room full of rockers but, Looking back on your career, do you have any regrets or things you would have liked to try differently? I wish i had not walked out of the company when i did...bad decision.
If wrestling didn't pan out for you what would you have fallen back on or was failure simply not an option? The Undertaker mentioned he would have loved to do MMA, but is obviously too old to start from scratch. Would you have considered entering the sport if it were as popular then as it is today? I never considered failure. i did not have a plan B.
Will you get your own hunting show like Shawn Michaels? I am currently laying some ground work for a hunting show...stay tuned.
What's your favorite thing to do in Los Angeles? Drive around los angeles in my 1996 Chevy Suburban with Hershey, my chocolate lab drinking Pelligrino sparkling water. pretty exciting,huh?
What was life like after the wwe? Must be hard to have to stop. Took a while to deal with it. it was damn hard.
Hey Steve, on your show Redneck Island, what is it like inside your house? Nothing fancy. my wife is a clean freak...thank god...we live a pretty low key life. i just wanna pay my bills and do my thing, just like everybody else.
What do you think about many wrestlers not saving money and burning out / struggling with addiction after their careers? Do you think more needs to be done to help them after retirement? Also your podcast is great, thanks for the AMA. People in all walks of life have to save their money. i grew up middle class. my dad is super frugal. taught all of us kids to save our money. every wrestler was always told by the veterans "save your money, kid" never live beyond your means.
I don't know if you'll see this as you answered my last question by someone else. If your neck was never injured, how much longer would you have wrestled? I know you wore knee braces, but would that hamper you wrestling wise? Maybe another 5-6 years...
Thanks for doing the AMA! What is one of your favorite personal hobbies you do to wind down while not working? Hanging out at my ranch in south texas. hunting and riding around on my polaris ranger with my dog Hershey. RVing with my wife and dogs and bbqing are ways i wind down.
I collect WatchTime Magazine.. I read an article in there about you and your watch collection. Have you added any new watches? Whats your daily wearer? I havent bought a new watch in a while..daily wear watch is an old Luminox with a quartz movement. been trying to bust the sumbitch so i could go get another one. aint broke it yet.
If you didn't get into wrestling, what was your next passion? Football. but i wasnt good enough to play pro. i specialized in heavy manual labor jobs.
Ive worked on your ranch before (oilfield) and I heard that you often lie in wait of speeders and people not respecting your land. Also that you almost whooped a guys ass for being a douche. How true are these stories? Very true. i expect posted speed signs to be obeyed at all times. i take a lot of pride in the broken skull ranch. working man has to make a living...just drive slow at the BSR...swig of beer for the working man.
Do you ever plan on having Scott Hall as a guest on your podcast? Trying to set up a time and date for scott hall asap on the stsve austin show.
Hey Steve! Any chance of getting Punk on the podcast? I loved this interview y'all did together: Link to www.youtube.com. Would love to have Punk on the steve austin show.
Why'd you let Adam Sandler punk you? For a hip hop dance? Naw fuck that shit, GU3 dont be such a punk...thank you for your time sir. Adam Sandler stayed behind me for the part of Dennis Cavanaugh in GU2 when i was faced with having 2 new ligaments put in my left knee one month prior to filming. he is class act and a guys guy. ill do a job for Sandler any day of the week. i still haven't seen the movie...on my list of things to do. heard it was hilarious!
Were you drunk when you posted the 2 previous AMAs? No. i am not good with technology. tried setting up accounts last night as a precaution to not be late this morning. i cannot stand being late for anything.
Hey Stone Cold. Loving the Podcast and would love to hear Paul Heyman on it sometime. I'm sure you guys would have some excellent convo. Question: I think the WWE product right now is the best its been in years and has the best roster since the early 2000s. Do you think WWE is doing a good of preparing for the future and building new stars? Would love to have paul heyman on the show. wwe is putting together a solid roster with some exciting young cats. they have finally turned the corner. the future is bright at WWE.
When you came down to the ring you were always yelling in the direction of the cameras but you didn't have a mic on? Give me an example of something that you were saying as you came down to the ring. 4 letter words and trash talk.
Best Memory of Stone Cold. All of them. the good times, bad times, high times, and low times...It was a helluva ride.
Steve, What it is the biggest sized deer that you have killed? 181class 10 point.
When you returned to the WWE in 2003, how was your relationship with Eric Bischoff? Eric and i are totally cool. hes a hard working cat and always on the move. loved our chemistry as co gms.
Steve, in your opinion, why did WWE go PG-rated? It has been a decline of ratings since the PG-14 days, which ultimately means less money. In what ways is it beneficial to the company? The direction WWE has taken is the right direction as far as continued main stream growth. believe me, the company is making money.
Stone Cold, I have friends in Victoria that said the only redeemable thing about that "dump" is the town square. Thoughts? I love Victoria. i love Edna. two small towns in Texas. no more, no less.
Hey..Steve...When Will We Get the 411 on the Movie ya going me Filming this Summer? More details coming soon on the movie. lots of bust ass action.
Will that damned fly be making a return to the podcast? If the people demand it, Mr. Fly will return to the SAS.
Will you tweet us a picture of Moola? Yes. later.
Hey Steve, Love your podcast. Don't think I've ever consistently laughed so hard at a show. Please PLEASE please go ahead with your plan of making a wrestling review show. What's the funniest rib you were a part of? What's the funniest rib you were a victim of? Lawan. Thanks for listening to the steve austin show podcast.
Hey Steve Austin! Big fan of you growing up and watching you in the WWE. My question to you is what is your craziest on the road story in the WWE? Also, what is your opinion on TNA Wrestling? Too many stories to pick just one. i enjoy TNA. i am a WWE'r for life, but i enjoy all pro wrestling.
Thoughts on Bray Wyatt and The Shield? Havent seen the wyatts. shield is promising for sure.
Please go back on the Adam Carolla Show soon. Your PSA's are fucking hilarious. Adam was just on my podcast the steve austin show. it will be out next week so catch it. adam is a damn genius and i have a blast when i visit the adam corolla show. i enjoy doing the PSA's and they totally come out of the blue.
Did you have to learn to drive that Zamboni at the Joe Louis Arena when you raised hell! Learned to drive it in 5 minutes. i can drive anything on wheels..i can drive anything, actually.
Steve, I have this can of whoop-ass I can't open... Let me help you with that...
Have been doing some outdoor work in 100 degree weather and listened through about 6 or 7 of your podcasts all week while workin, thank you for keeping me entertained and just being an all around badass. huge fan of the podcast, keep em comin and fuck anyone who doesn't use their blinkers. Ill keep the SAS coming if you keep listening.
I have soo much to say but my comments are not being answered...Thanku steve for all the years watching you grow and now get to watch you on Redneck island .i wanna be on that show!! Thiers tons of rednecks in Oklahoma. they better REDNECKONIZE ;) I am trying to get the RI folks to look in yalls direction! rednecks everywhere.
Last updated: 2013-07-23 18:30 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
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